Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To lose it over a garden

31 replies

Peanutmandm · 07/01/2018 16:44

My next door neighbour of 6 years has recently started to cut back bushes etc in our front garden without asking or saying anything to myself and my husband.
So far we have let things go as he is elderly but have been annoyed behind closed doors as we are perfectly able to do this ourselves but have chose not too at the moment as No 1 it's winter and No 2 the garden isn't overgrown, doesn't need doing.
This morning whilst home alone I noticed that said neighbour had brought his lawn mower into the garden so asked him politely not to mow as we would do it when ready and also that the lawn was very wet at the moment.
He went on to say that we wouldn't do it and that in his eyes it needed doing to which I replied that I wasn't going to argue just please leave it.
Came back into the house and he started to mow so went back out asked him to stop and was ignored so took the lawnmower from him and told him again to stop to which he replied that I was a crazy woman and that he wasn't going to speak to me.
AIBU to be fuming that he thinks I am in the wrong when I had repeatedly asked him not to do it
Been raging all day !!!!

OP posts:

RavingRoo · 07/01/2018 16:48

Why is this an issue? My neighbour and I do this all the time for each other, without asking.

Fantasticmissfoxy · 07/01/2018 16:50

'Why is this an issue!' Erm because the OP has made very very clear that she doesn't want him interfering in her garden?! Regardless of that, you don't cut grass as this time of year in the UK, it's very bad for it especially if it's waterlogged.

HopefulForToday · 07/01/2018 16:50

Do you particularly like to mow rather than seeing it as a chore? If so, why not just say that?

If, like 99% of the population, mowing is a chore to be done, why not just leave him do it if he insists?

Bambinho · 07/01/2018 16:52

Very strange behaviour, not least because you shouldn't be cutting the grass at this time of year. I wouldn't be happy with anyone interfering with my garden either, no matter how helpful they thought they were being.

TemptressofWaikiki · 07/01/2018 16:53

It's the OP's garden FFS! Her NDN has no business whatsoever doing anything to her property. He isn't being helpful, he is being controlling and overstepping boundaries. Literally!

ATeardropExplodes · 07/01/2018 16:53

If, like 99% of the population, mowing is a chore to be done, why not just leave him do it if he insists?

OOh I am in the 1% of the population that loves to mow. Finally I am special.

OP you are right, mowing grass that is too wet damages it. Also, it is you fucking garden. He shouldn't be stepping foot in or on it.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/01/2018 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JamPasty · 07/01/2018 16:54

Time for big heavy pots to block access to the garden?

user1474652148 · 07/01/2018 16:58

In one way I feel sorry for the old man how lonely and bored do you need to be to start doing other people's gardens for free..
But my over riding sense that this is an invasion of your privacy and he was quite rude to ignore your wishes in your own home. That to me is quite unforgivable.
That said I would still try to make peace, I hate bad feeling so would always try and make amends.

Laiste · 07/01/2018 16:59

If he's elderly and this has just started to happen after 6 years i'd be guessing he's getting a bit vague re: the rights and wrongs of social interaction.

All the same he can't just go onto other people's propery and do what he likes. You weren't in the wrong OP and it's a shame it's had to come to this but it's not your fault.

I expect he'll be chatting again once spring comes round.

PanPanPanPing · 07/01/2018 17:02

You should have nipped this in the bud the minute he started!

Original poster

Peanutmandm · 07/01/2018 17:03

Thanks all. He is well known in the area for sticking his nose in into people's business when it isn't wanted and has annoyed us on a couple of occasions in the past but we have always felt sorry for him as he is on his own but I just really felt pushed by him today as he wasn't listening.

OP posts:

cate16 · 07/01/2018 17:07

Personally I would be more concerned about the elderly neighbour's wellbeing if he is cutting grass at this time of year- he sounds confused.

rothbury · 07/01/2018 17:08

Oh this would really annoy me way more than it should.

I would probably leave my grass to grow three feet high just to wind him up.

I doubt this is the last of it - he will be back

Laiste · 07/01/2018 17:09

Very good pan

PanPanPanPing · 07/01/2018 17:11

Thank you, Laiste

spangles1963 · 07/01/2018 17:15

You say he's elderly? Maybe he's developing dementia.

Oldraver · 07/01/2018 17:18

No I wouldn't want my garden touching and I purposely leave my grass a little longer than most would.

But this is really odd behaviour to suddenly wanting to cut plants back in blummin January

Grunkalunka · 07/01/2018 17:20

I agree with spangles. Behavior like this is often an early sign - falling out with the neighbours because of inappropriate actions etc. Does he live alone? If not could you have a word with a housemate?(wife, Dc etc)

TwitterQueen1 · 07/01/2018 17:21

I'd be more worried about his mental state than the lawn tbh. This doesn't right. Does he have any relatives you can contact?

DaphneduM · 07/01/2018 17:21

Oh goodness, this is so familiar to us. We have a country garden with an orchard, our neighbour is always coming over and moaning about our grass encroaching on her boundary, notwithstanding that her shrubs overhang ours. We give it a strim to keep the peace.

Gemini69 · 07/01/2018 17:30

nobody else touches my Grass..... like EVER

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 07/01/2018 17:31

Sounds very much like the onset of Dementia, does he have visiting family ? Maybe you could voice your concerns.

AstridWhite · 07/01/2018 17:32

Who mows the lawn in January? It's not even growing.

Esspee · 07/01/2018 17:34

If you know his family it would be a kindness to let them know about his behaviour. He needs to see a doctor as clearly his behaviour is indicative of mental problems (probably dementia).

Flip

1 2