AIBU to ask my number 2’s not be discussed with MIL?

[Tink2007]

I am currently down with the dreaded d&v bug. It’s not pretty. In general I am a very private person about what I do in the toilet so AIBU to ask that DH doesn’t respond to MIL when she asks if I still have “the runs”?

Could you respond like Micky Flanagan? "You know when you empty a radiator...?"

roomson

happy to help OP

Loyaultomelie, this is possible.

Does your DH come back from the bog bemoaning the fact that he didn't think of weighing himself BEFORE he had a crap, because he's convinced he's now half a stone lighter?

Is be tempted to reply 'I'm not sure. How about you? How are your bowel movements today?'

If it help, DS was so keen to emerge into the world my MIL got an up close and personal view of my lady bits as she caught him on my hallway floor. It could be worse...

Everyone shits, love.

When I was about 15, my 10 year old cousin stood up in a restaurant to go to the toilet, and my grandma, who'd had a sherry too many, called after him, "is it a poo, Christopher?"

He just said, "earth, swallow me now," and walked off.

Also DP has a real thing about buying toilet rolls. He hates it - says "everyone knows what you're about to do." I tell him he's being ridiculous and nobody would notice or care.

Then when DD was a tiny newborn, I made him pop to the local shop one night to buy some toilet roll as we'd run out. He didn't feel the need to pay 5p for a bag. Carrying it home, a car goes past him, the window goes down, and a lad calls out...

"HAVE A NICE SHIT, MATE!!!"

I have still not been forgiven.

Pressed post too soon - thought that might cheer you up, OP!