AIBU or Overreacting

[MrsNacho]

I ended things with my BF of 18 months because things weren't working out. We separated for 2 months and then ended up chatting, realised we missed each other and decided to give it another go.

When we were together before we both had an STI test and tem ditched condoms as I have a coil.

When we got back together I asked him had he been with anyone else, had he said yes we would have gone back to condoms until he had been re tested. I hadn't slept with anyone else. He said no, he hadntbee. With anyone else so we continued to have unprotected sex.

Well it turns out that at a party he received unprotected oral sex from a random girl and he since found out that this could put him at risk of an sti. He tried telling me that a mate of his had been to the same clinic as him and got mixed up results so he thought he should get 're tested just in case they had made a mistake with his results too. Obviously I didn't believe that and pressed him for the truth.

So I feel like ending things? I am going to get tested at the clinic myself next week and if I have anything it is definitely over but would I be unreasonable to end it any way because he lied and I don't trust him?

Or am I over reacting because I am hurt that he went with another woman even though I have no rights to be hurt given that we weren't together and it was me that ended It? I know that reaction is unreasonable i just thought he had more self respect than to get a BJ off some random bird he only just met and tbh I don't believe his version of events.

I don't want my unreasonable hurt feelings to cloud my judgement.

What I'm hearing here is that you suspect that you can't trust him to be honest and that you fear he has double standards - he can demand exclusivity even though you'd broken up but he was free to behave as a single man.

I don't think YABU to be cross. He wasn't up front with you regarding his past relationship/one night stand and then, rather than coming clean, he covered up with lies.

I think you need to be honest with yourself. Has the trust between you been broken and can you ever see that trust ever being satisfactorily restored? Missing someone does not necessarily equate to undying love.

Remember that you can still catch an STI when using a condom. Condoms are not 100% reliable, even used properly.

If you are concerned over the risk of getting an STI, you should have insisted on a retest before getting back together with him.

But if you can catch any STI through receiving oral sex presumably it is being passed on through the givers saliva, so wouldnt you also be able to catch those same STIs through kissing?

Obviously giving oral sex puts you at risk of all the STDs you could catch through sex as you’re in contact with semen/ vaginal fluids but are you sure you can catch ‘any’ STD through receiving a blow job bevause that doesn’t sound right to me, unless it is an STD transmitter through saliva.

I can't get beyond someone in their early 30's receiving a blow job at a party... I thought that all stopped once left your teens? I must have v dull friends, most of the parties I go to are full of people talking about house prices and school catchment areas!

(Misses point of thread)

To me it sounds like he didn't realise he could catch an STI from receiving a BJ, and when he found out he panicked a bit.

But you know him best, and it seems as though you feel like he knowingly put you at risk of an STI. I couldn't be In a relation ship with someone who could knowingly put me at risk, you need to be able to trust your partner.

Omg use weren't together and who wears a condom for a bj not many yes he should have told u but didn't ure over reacting Abit he didn't want to upset u n potentially fall out again if u can't forgive don't be with him

I can't believe the level of ignorance here! WTAF!

You can catch STIs from oral sex... herpes,Gonorrhoea... HIV/AIDS etc . 😱 I am shocked! That's why they recommend prostitutes use condoms... not just for penetrative sex but oral. My word!

||www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/970.aspx?CategoryID=118|| educate yourselves ladies!

I would leave him. Not because he got a BJ from someone, that's really his business, but because he lied and then lied again and put you at risk. He has a responsibility as your partner to be honest and upfront about these things. @MrsNacho.