To want to give up ...

[imgettingtoooldforthis]

Been ttc for 2 years with absolutely no luck. Just had period pain from hell. Just found out my last childless friend is expecting. I'm the only one who isn't pregnant or got kids and it's killing me - Physically and mentally. Spent the weekend with DH's son and been struggling with his clingy nature around his dad. Another reminder of how useless I am. We've been tested and no physical reason why we can't conceive has been found. The next step is IVF and I'm not sure I can put myself through it. But time is not on my side ! AIBU to want to give up ?

Pfft, don’t give up if you haven’t even tried IVF. And don’t go into it thinking it’s a huge big deal. That’s how I got my 3 gorgeous children. First go. We were very lucky obviously but there’s no reason you wouldn’t be lucky too.

Go easy on the kid. He might be the big brother of your own kids soon.

That’s unless you’d feel better giving up. How does it make you feel to think of a life without more kids? Partner, DSS and lots of holidays?

"IVF" is many things. From a bit of a helping hand to quite a big helping hand. Might be worth having the initial chat to see what your options are.

Or, radical suggestion, even freeze your eggs in case you feel differently next year?

We've been to see the private specialist, so it would be a bit of a helping hand initially. I feel heart broken every month when my period comes. I'm petrified of how I would feel if IVF doesn't work. I'm fit, healthy - just so frustrated that's it's not happened yet. Part of me just wants to focus on other things, DH, SS, holidays, fitness, career and home. To just put all of this behind me and move on.

IVF will increase your odds. Of course you will feel bad if it doesn't work first time, but it's just like trying to conceive naturally not working first time, you've got to give it a fair chance. The statistics these days are good and you'll have someone hand holding the entire way, knowing you and your cycle very well and offering the best advice.

Maybe you need a break from thinking about it all (I know, not possible) and come back to the situation with fresh thoughts. Any chance of a holiday?

DH is desperate for a holiday. I've just come into some money. DH wants to use it to go away with me and SS. I would prefer to use it towards a bigger holiday in Sep. (that we have already committed to) and I'm trying to be mindful of money as IVF would need to be private.

Maybe a trip to friends or relatives to get your mind off things? Or someone to stay with you to keep you occupied. A change is as good as a rest and all that.

I really feel for you. I was 40 before i got pg, but was very lucky. I used the ovulation stick thinggy to ensure i knew the best time to conceive and dtd lots. If there are no obvious problems, it will happen. Stay positive.

DH and I are at risk of killing each other over this ..... every month I just loose it and we e d up having a huge shouting match. Not good or healthy.

Spend the money on trying to have a baby if that's what you really want to do x

If IVF isn't for you there's always adoption

Ah, then maybe that's not a reason for giving up, maybe that's a reason to go to counseling?

I saw the GP recently (about something unrelated) I think she could sense the stress and tension (and weight loss) she suggested counselling..... DH thinks there is no need for it.