To ask you about your subsequent birth/s after a tear with dc1

[quackersandcheese]

I'm currently expecting dc2 and have my first midwife appointment soon, but I'm really shitting it about giving birth. Dc1 was a big baby and a 4 hour labour which ended in a 3rd degree tear and haemorrhage. I needed surgery afterwards and am convinced I have a prolapse going on but I can't bring myself to go back to the doctor and get any more internal examinations.

Will I be consultant lead so that they can keep an eye on the size and induce early if I have a natural?

Can you tell me your experiences with subsequent births please!

Would you consider a section?

I have a friend who had a section after a horrendous birth and thought the section was a far easier recovery.

FWIW I've had a section after a brutally long labour and thought the recovery was completely fine

I wasn’t consultant led for my second, I was for the first as ID twins but I also had a haemorrhage and surgery after.

Second pregnancy was completely straight forward, I don’t think that’s the sort of thing that instigates consultant led care.

I’m only going on my own experience though and could be completely wrong! Ask your midwife.

Definitely open to a section, if it's the safest option but I am even more terrified of a c section! I'm such a baby about hospitals. Spent my childhood in and out and the short stay I had last time was horrendous. I felt fine when I got home. I know I'll be even worse being separated from dc1 for so long!

DC1 36 hours, back to back, 5 hours of pushing, failed ventouse and Kiebler forceps, tote and was cut, horrendous recovery, 40 odd stitches

DC2 2 hours small labia tear few stitches (induced at that too!)

DC3 1 hour no tear no bruising no grazes, very calm Delivery

DC4 born minutes after arriving at hospital, small labia tear due to me delivering her head myself stood up and having no assistance as MW convinced I wasn’t even in established labour because I was so calm, however no stitches and healed really well

My first I tore badly, but also tore upwards towards the cliterous. Absolutely disgusting amount of pain to follow when peeing. I used to do it in the shower to make it more bearable . Anyways, I won’t go into it because it still makes me want to cry!
My second I had no tear (he was 9lb11oz) just slight grazes from the vagina stretching, which is apparently very normal.

The biggest difference in this is the second birth I (under the advice of a friend who like you had surgery and prolapse after her first child, and didn’t have any the second time) calmed myself right down and listened to the midwife on when to push (and researched it beforehand). I was giving my bits to relax around the baby between contractions and so far less likely to tear

I had a 3rd degree tears with my ds1 and ds2 due to quick labours. Was referred to the consultant when pregnant with my ds2 and they kept a close eye on me. I was offered a CS didn't want that. I was told after the birth of ds2 that if I wanted further children, a CS would be compulsory. Second time along was easier as I knew what the expect

Not a tear but episiotomy with dc1 one, with a forceps delivery after a 35+ hour labour.
Dc2 was almost 10lb and just a 7 hour labour. No intervention that time but did get a 3rd degree tear which needed careful stitching because of the previous scarring.

I had 3rd degree internal tears with first. Had 2 more natural births. Scar tissue tore again both times and had to be re-stitched both times but not as dramatically as first time. In fact the skin had always felt tight and slightly uncomfortable but after third child they must have re-stitched it better because it hadn't bothered me since!

Talk to your midwife, she'll have the best advice. For what it's worth, I had a fairly rough first labour, with an episiotomy, and my second labour went quickly (three hours)with a smallish tear along the scar from the episiotomy.

A bad first labour experience doesn't mean your second will be bad.

I've also had a c section and the recovery from that was about two weeks, not the six weeks I was told to expect.

Not 3rd degree but episiotomy for first... second and third no stitches

I had an elcs after a 3b tear and episiotomy with DS1. He was face presentation. I had a lot of tests about 12 months after and a section for future births was recommended in order to protect the repair however I was adamant I wanted vaginal birth. Then at about 38+3 I read in my hospitals clinical guidance that there is a 15-20% risk of faecal incontinence if you have a vaginal birth subsequently after a 3b tear. I booked my section in that week.

It was fine though more painful recovery wise imo. I feel a bit sad I won't Labour again. I'd have liked to experience a more straightforward birth.

Very bad tearing dc1, very tiny grace dc2.Dc1 was very big and had shoulder distocia. I kept mentioning this during my second pregnancy. The booking in midwife said they’d monitor and do late sizing scans but made no notes/this wasn’t followed up. I had to insist once I went overdue and I was induced to make sure dc2 was not quite as big. It was a fantastic and very easy birth!

I never tore at all with subsequent births. My second midwife was due to retire so and loads of experience. I said to her I dont want to tear and she said follow her and listen exactly to what she told me. She guided me to pant slowly not push to let her slowly crown and allow my body to stretch, even though it stings and your instincts to push and I never tore. First baby was 6lbs, second was 8. I did the same with my third and never tore. He was 9lb 9.5.

I had the same as you, baby with a big head resulted in messy 3rd degree tear needing surgery to stitch up afterwards. I did have a prolapsed vagina, constant pelvic floor exercises have helped massively.
I was also terrified of the birth for no 2 and it was much quicker (2.5 hours instead of 14) and so much better. I had an episiotomy but was all fine.
So many people said that 2nd is easier and was true for me.
Both babies were back to back and 90th centile for head size. All healed and fine now.

Suffered a 3rd degree tear with DS1, section for DS2 booked for Tuesday morning :) good luck with whatever route you choose OP, I just couldn't risk that level of injury again. the risk of being doubly incontinent before the age of 30 was enough to push me towards c section, let alone that I'll be in theatre half the time it took to repair me after DS1! Also the more uncomfortable I have gotten in this pregnancy, the less scared I have become about the section!

My first labour was identical to yours!

All my subsequent ones were consultant led with the option of a c-section if I wanted.

With DC2 I was referred to a consultant during pregnancy due to a previous 3rd degree tear, and automatically classified as high risk. Still had the usual appointments with the midwife.

At about 34 weeks the consultant did internal exams front and back (really nothing to worry about, not like the kind of internal you get during labour, just a thin pencil like device near the surface). Purpose was to determine the state of my insides, and therefore best mode of birth.

She said in some cases after a 3rd degree tear she would not recommend a natural birth but in my case it was up to me.

Like you I felt a prolapse coming, hadn’t need able to run or jump etc in the 3 years since the birth. The consultant didn’t pick up anything physically wrong except weak pelvic floor muscles.

I had a c section and it worked out great for me.

Good luck.

Thank you all for your replies, I'll definitely speak through my concerns with my midwife and hopefully I'll be able to speak to someone. I'm worried they'll just fob me off and leave it as a we'll see what happens. I'm already losing sleep over it now.

@FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats that's where I think I went so wrong with my birth. They told me I really needed to push because my baby was in distress so I pushed like a mad woman even when I wasn't contracting.

@Robots1Humans0 good luck!! the incontinence is definitely a worry!

My DD had a rough first labour. 12-plus hours and then ventouse and episiotomy. Weeks of pain from stitches etc.

Just had her 2nd a few days ago. Her DS was born just 2 hours after her waters had broken. No intervention in any way nor any stitches afterwards even though they had been worried about her episiotomy scar.

Couldn't have gone any better so it can happen for you too.

I had a 3c tear with my first just due to specific circs (not big baby or anything). Was offered a c-section this time round - I hadn't even realised it would be an issue - and after a lot of soul-searching decided to go for it. Consultant has been really good but obviously can't predict the future so hasn't particularly leaned one way or another.

Risks of reoccurrence aren't too high and of course I could still go into labour earlier than expected but for me, the 'expected' and known risks of c-section and recovery are less anxiety-inducing than the unknown of natural labour. I am still absolutely bricking it though....

robots1 good luck for Tuesday! Would love to hear how it went whenever you're ready as mine is not too far off...

Will do thanks ladies ! Have had added complication of high blood pressure with both pregnancies which obviously swayed this decision as well. Been in and out for observation past couple of weeks and there was chat of early section with steroids for baby but I've held on till 39weeks. Will update when baby arrives and things have settled , 3 more sleeps!

3rd degree tear with 7lbs 13oz DD.

3 years later, natural delivery again with DS, was only in labour for about 45 minutes (didn't even get my bloody coat off) and he was a whopper at 8lbs 15oz. Didn't tear at all, was a bit of a sneeze birth by all accounts

3rd degree tear with a 7lb 4oz and no problems with a 8lb 9oz 2 yrs later.

2nd degree tear with first baby, 9lb2oz. Very long labour

Graze with 2nd baby 9lb3.5oz, lovely water birth, established labour around 5 hours

3rd baby, absolutely fine after, absolute whopper at 10lb8oz. From first pain to giving birth less than 6 hours.

This is just my experience but my babies have got later and bigger but with2&3 the labours and births so much better than with my first.

First baby lots of stitches. Diagram on my notes looked like the London Underground map.

2nd baby almost 10lb no stitches.

3rd baby 9lb no stitches.