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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU wanting the Tv on less in front of the baby?

57 replies

Angelacarter · 06/01/2018 22:46

Got a young baby and a darling husband. Our evenings are spent watching films and TV (DH way of relaxing after work). I admit, I do have it as background noise during a long day with a crying baby but doing best to change it to music at the least!
I really want to get into the habit of when the baby is around / when shes growing up to cut down to certain amounts of tv etc. To not get too reliant on it etc.
Now I told my suggestion to my husband who got very huffy about it and stated how his relax time is tv. To which I said it wouldn't effect him too much because by the time he's home the baby is in bed! But he had none of it (what about weekends he said!!) and now he's sulking downstairs in the living room (watching tv). AIBU to want less tv time in front of the baby? Xxx

OP posts:
Wineasaurous · 07/01/2018 07:32

Well if it's off all week, why don't you go out on weekends? Park or for a walk or soft play? Then when you get back if one of you had a 'break' and watched TV while the other plays/feeds/changes Baby and then swap, that's hardly any TV for Baby at all... I don't really see the issue?

parrotonmyshoulder · 07/01/2018 07:32

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable or precious. We (adults) only watch tv when we want to watch it. That is, we turn it on (internet tv only so our own choice at all times) and sit down to watch it. There is never time for that when the children are up!

PerceptionIsReality · 07/01/2018 07:34

Instead of focusing on turning the tv off, why not focus on the positive of what you intend to do instead (if you have actually thought of this).

underneaththeash · 07/01/2018 07:50

How old is your baby OP?

Pengggwn · 07/01/2018 07:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Angelacarter · 07/01/2018 08:06

Well of course I'd be doing stuff like play, reading etc. Instead of tv with DC . I was just suggesting limiting it in front of the baby when she was older. I just thought mu husband's reaction was out of order ( Basically got angry for me even suggesting lowering our tv tine) like currently on the weekend unless i suggest us go out with the baby/walk. He will spend ALL day watching films and shows. So I was just thinking ahead because I wouldn't want that happening later. Yeah its too early to be thinking about it but I guess it's harder to break habits. .... x

OP posts:
SwimmingIsMyLife · 07/01/2018 08:35

Surely he doesn’t expect to be able to spend all weekend in front of the tv now he has a child? You’ve got bigger issues to address than the tv as background noise if that’s the case Sad

PasstheStarmix · 07/01/2018 08:37

Yes If your dh isn't pulling his weight on a weekend this needs to be addressed.

PeepoPleaseNo · 07/01/2018 08:43

When we had a small baby we watched loads of TV snuggled up on the sofa. Once he was up and about and playing, reading books, wanting to go to the park, basically a lot more interactive and needing entertained, adult TV watching just dwindled naturally.

DS watches cbeebies etc for portions of the day so the TV isn't banned or anything but DH and I simply cannot sit down and watch an episode of something on Netflix with him in the room, it's not possible. Babies allow you to watch TV and basically do what you want. Toddlers don't! I think you'll find it will naturally come to a stop during the day except naptime and after baby is in bed.

Sparklingbrook · 07/01/2018 08:47

Sounds like there's more problems than just the TV. You and your DH need to turn the TV off and talk.

PasstheStarmix · 07/01/2018 08:49

I get house work done as fast as humanly
Possible then watch Netflix when ds naps....Blush great to watch some adult programs

notacooldad · 07/01/2018 08:54

We only put the to on to watch a specific programme and then it goes off again. There's no particular reason why we do this , it's something we have always done.
I never have the to on in the mornoning and when the kids were little I think that was helpful with the morning routines as there was no visual distractions when trying to get ready.Also there was no tv after school until homework was done. There wasn't much homework so it didn't cause issues and in sspring and summer they were out playing anyway!

I am agreeing with your husband though, if there is stuff he wants to watch it won't afffect the baby. I'd be annoyed if some started telling me I couldn't watch a film in the evening!

PasstheStarmix · 07/01/2018 08:56

Everybody needs a little relaxation time whether it's tv, reading or something else.

theabysswithin · 07/01/2018 08:59

YANBU - I find the concept of TV as wallpaper unutterably depressing to be honest and it makes me feel miserable and antsy after a while to be in a home where the TV is permanently on. I used to argue with my exH about this all the time -- he was one of those people who turned the TV on first thing in the morning before he'd even gone to the toilet, and he couldn't handle not having it on, while for me having the TV on all the time is a sign of dull-wittedness and makes me feel trapped.

On the other hand I think there's a right and wrong time to worry about this. When kids get a bit older I think policing screen time is more important. With a small baby I wouldn't sweat the small stuff and make your life as easy as you can.

DragonsAndCakes · 07/01/2018 08:59

How is he pulling his weight if he’s watching tv all weekend anyway?

BettyChristmas · 07/01/2018 09:00

I think you owe your DH an apology as the hypocrisy of you being allowed it on for background noise during the day but he has to cut down on weekends is Hmm

Hippydippydoo · 07/01/2018 09:07

I have an 11 month old and if we are home the tv is always on. I like the noise and the adult voices!
I never put kids tv on, as I don't want to encourage her to watch it, and she rarely pays much attention. I guess she isn't really much of a fan of come dine with me and Ramsey's kitchen nightmares :)

PasstheStarmix · 07/01/2018 09:10

Hippydippydoo I'm the same id go insane without the background noise and adult voices. It's a very long quiet day when alone with baby all day. Yes you can get out and go to shops or for walks and to groups but there's always those time where you're home as well. It's easy when baby taking two long naps and you get more time to yourself.

PasstheStarmix · 07/01/2018 09:10

easier

CoffeeBreakIn5 · 07/01/2018 09:13

It's like anything you don't want your DC to have all the time - the more you restrict, the more it becomes the forbidden fruit. Seriously, you're putting far too much thought into it.

Our tv is on all day, my DC ignore it. They ask to watch something specific and I'll put it on, then they get bored and go and play in the other room with their toys. They are not bothered at all. One of my friend comes round and demands for it to be switched off, I switch it off and her kid sits screaming in front of it the whole time and refuses to play with the toys. She maintains that her kids don't watch tv yet they know the songs of all the kids shows on CBeebies.

If you're in the house and you don't want to to on then switch it off, but don't then demand that your DH has to do the same on a weekend. there's nothing wrong with down time when you've been working all week. Are you going back to work?

nutbrownhare15 · 07/01/2018 09:18

It sounds like the issue is more your husband watching tv all weekend. He sees a threat to that and has reacted badly. Do you do anything else at weekends? I couldn't live like that, we are evenings only for adult tv and even then we are trying to cut down a bit with tv free nights sometimes.

junebirthdaygirl · 07/01/2018 09:18

When my now grown ds was small l put the tv on for one programme a day. I was so strict. He would now watch tv for 24 hours if he ever got the chance. I was way too over the top. By my third l paid far less attention and he is not half as interested.
But your dh needs to smarten up as time goes on to engage with your dc. Maybe as dc becomes more interactive this will happen naturally. Be better maybe to suggest stuff ye all do together instead of him feeling you are the TV Nanny.
Its far better for dcs concentation during the day to let them play with no screen pulling their attention.
See how it goes. No hard and fast rules as they are a pain for the other adult. But as you can see from my first we can be over diligent.

PasstheStarmix · 07/01/2018 09:22

I think as parents society puts enough pressure on us without all of the added pressure we put on ourselves aswell. Just cut yourself and your dh some slack over abit of tv. I always find it's the really strict households that have kids that rebel. Like another poster said don't make it into a forbidden fruit as kids always want what they can't have.

zeebeee · 07/01/2018 09:22

YANBU OP. I have a 9 month old and hardly ever have the tv on in front of him, unless it's a kids programme and even then only for a very short time. I don't like exposing him to adult tv now he isn't a sleepy newborn and DOES pay attention. I don't want him exposed to any shouting or angry voices or anything frightening on tv.

PasstheStarmix · 07/01/2018 09:24

There's a lot of adult programs that are fine for babies; adult programs aren't all violent and inappropriate. My ds actually prefers to watch a gardening program or antiques program over a mindless kids cartoon. No idea why but it captures his attention more.

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