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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Brownies a bit meh

39 replies

CradleCat · 06/01/2018 20:23

I have 3 dds. Two are young teenagers now. They used to go to Brownies one loved it the other found it mostly boring (same unit, same leader).

Now dd3 has asked if she can go but she is already doing dancing and piano. I am obviously chauffeuring all 3 girls to their various activities and don't really want to add any more commitments, we are a very busy family.

AIBU to think that Brownies is not a must? It's ok, some activities are fun but on the whole dd3 wouldn't miss out hugely if she gave Brownies a miss or am I wrong?

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 06/01/2018 20:24

She will probably feel left out as her sisters got to go. Things like that matter to kids.
Would she drop dancing?

Figrollsnotfatrolls · 06/01/2018 20:25

Unless brownies are made of chocolate I would ditch....

Basecamp21 · 06/01/2018 20:26

No particular out of school activity is a must. Personally I really do think kids miss out if they do not do any but what they are is unimportant as long as the child enjoys them.

TheQueenOfWands · 06/01/2018 20:27

My greedy arse thought this was a thread about the delicious chocolate cake bites.

I was wrong.

Figrollsnotfatrolls · 06/01/2018 20:28

A brownie recipe thread would be nice!!

GrooovyLass · 06/01/2018 20:28

As a Brown Owl I'd just like to point out that Guiding is the only organisation run by girls and women for girls and women. Guiding is an amazing experience where your DD will learn new skills, have fantastic experiences and (hopefully) have an amazing time.

NerrSnerr · 06/01/2018 20:29

I’m the youngest of 3, I couldn’t do Brownies because my sister hated it, Sunday school because my siblings had hobbies, horse riding because although my sister did it for a year it was too expensive for me, dancing because my sister hated it and gymnastics because it took too much time. I had to do the hobbies that my siblings already did out of school. I made up for it by doing every single school club, instrument, concert and play!!

frick · 06/01/2018 20:29

My Dd has just stopped brownies in favour of another activity. It seemed to be pretty underwhelming to be fair, with a big focus on colouring in! Hmm .... but I think it varies from group to group. I certainly wasn’t too impressed (she attended for over a year). I’d be more tempted to try beavers if we are ever in search of another activity!

Tipsntoes · 06/01/2018 20:31

For me Brownies and Guides were great because you got to do and try so many different activities rather than being committed to the same activity week in week out. It also encouraged leadership, team-working and practical skills in a way that sport and music interests don't (IMO)

Whether that's a good or a bad thing will depend on the child and how much they enjoy their other activities. I know some of the values and skills I learned there are the reason I have progressed as I have in my career. As with everything else, you get out what you put in and I was a very committed Guide.

The quality of the experience does very much depend on the pack though.

Noodledoodledoo · 06/01/2018 20:31

Different units can be very different, different leaders do different things. Give her a chance.

Different girls like different things.

My sister didn't love it - I on the other hand started Brownies at 7 and still involved 33 years later with no breaks!

frick · 06/01/2018 20:31

Groovy.... I get your point about it being all female.... that was the one aspect Dd really enjoyed.

BadPolicy · 06/01/2018 20:35

I'm a guide leader. Your DDs life won't be ruined forever if she doesn't go to Brownies. Personally, I really value the girl only nature of Girlguiding , and the new experiences I gained as a young girl in the organisation. Doesn't suit all girls though, and as youve seen with your other DDs it might not be for her.

ihatetosay · 06/01/2018 20:37

Brownies and Guides are brilliant

Tipsntoes · 06/01/2018 20:40

The all female aspect is very valuable IMO. If you go on a mixed school camping trip the students and staff seem to (subconsciously) allocate all the heavy, dirty work and often the more interesting or difficult work to the boys. It's the same with Scouts, which is now mixed.

On a Guide camp, the girls have or gain amazing belief in their own ability to do anything.

Littlestgirlguide25 · 06/01/2018 20:46

I am a Guide leader. I echo previous posters who say that the all-female environment in Guiding is invaluable. Brownie groups do vary depending on the leaders and the group, Guiding is Girl led (so if my current cohort of Guides is very adventurous, sporty and outdoorsy, we’ll do more of that but if, a couple of years later, I have a cohort who are very into arts and drama, we might do a gang show - for example) the leaders are all volunteers and I would say please remember that if you are having a quiet term or boring as your daughter might say! It may be because of other factors in her Leaders life taking priority.

lookingforthecorkscrew · 06/01/2018 20:49

I wasn’t interested in Brownies in the slightest as a kid, I preferred to be out raising hell on my BMX and building forts in the woods with the other kids from my estate. As an adult I still steer clear of any kind of supervised, organised fun.

DotCottonDotCom · 06/01/2018 20:52

Amongst other roles I’m a unit helper. Personally It depends on the unit. My DD2s Rainbow unit was pretty poor last year I almost pulled her out. Which was sad for me because I really believe in the organisation.The Brownie unit I help is bloody amazing!

Ham69 · 06/01/2018 20:55

I can’t praise Brownies enough! My DD (8) loves it and the leaders go above and beyond to make it a fantastic and varied experience. Sleepovers, pack holidays, all kinds of craft, cooking, boating, swimming, you name it. The leaders dedicate so much of their time to it and it’s all voluntary. Very reasonable for those of us who don’t have a lot of spare funds, too.

Parker231 · 06/01/2018 20:56

My DD joined Brownies as some of her friends went but dropped it quickly as she found it boring with it just being girls. She swapped to a swimming club which suited her better (and helped with the chauffeuring as DS was already at the club).

Callamia · 06/01/2018 20:57

If she enjoys Brownies, I think it can be really valuable in terms of finding out what she really likes - I loved the opportunity to try new things, go places and make choices for myself.

I didn’t enjoy guides much, i think it was hard that it coincides with being a young adolescent - I’d love to know how you Guide leaders negotiate that. But, I did return to go to Rangers, and I loved that more than anything else I’ve done. If I hadn’t loved brownies so much, I would haven’t thought anything about rangers, and missed out on some really brilliant experiences and friendships. The ‘family’ of women that I met through being involved in guiding as a child was so valuable to me. I’m so grateful to them.

I will be putting my boys names down for beavers :)

reluctantbrit · 06/01/2018 21:00

I think it depends very much on the pack. DD did her 3years and the last two terms were hard work. We only kept her on as she was then at a higher priority for the local Scout pack.

She moved to the Scouts who run a girl and boy pack separately and it is a huge difference.

I know that other Brownie packs are more active but DD’s were very much focused on arts & craft and playing games, hardly any practical skills and just one sleepover in the whole 3 years. I know the owl for the guides group and while is is lovely I don’t see a vast improvement on activities.

She also lives in very female environment, none of her close friends has older brothers, she will go to a girls secondary so for her the joined camps and weekend activities the Scouts offer her are important.

TheDevilMadeMeDoIt · 06/01/2018 21:03

She does dancing and piano. Dancing is a very structured activity, piano is a solo one.

At Brownies she has a chance to play with others, have fun, learn all sorts of new skills, go camping, learn teamwork (and lots of other things too).

If you don't want the hassle of taking her that's up to you - but be honest with yourself about your reasons. Don't try to pass it off as doing your daughter a favour, or saying it's OK because she won't miss much. It didn't suit one of your other DDs (although it very much did the other) but DD3 might think it's the best thing she's ever done.

yaela123 · 06/01/2018 21:03

For the other chocoholics out there

I am a Brownie leader too and I agree it does depend on the unit/leader/your DD/the other girls. Whilst she may really enjoy it (and lots do), you're obviously not depriving her of out-of-school activities! I'm sure she will be fine without. She/you can always change her mind in the future. (My DDs have all actually preferred Guides to Brownies)

yaela123 · 06/01/2018 21:04

Whoops forgot the image Blush

Brownies a bit meh
Reallycantbebothered · 06/01/2018 21:06

Both my dds went to brownies, and then went onto Guides, but youngest only spent 3 yrs at Guides as didn't t like the leader but loved the camping and opportunity to travel to other camps
Her elder sister stayed on to become a leader and eventually went on a 3 week guide/scout camp to Siberia and Moscow when she was 17!....an amazing experience for her and gave her so much confidence
They've both developed a sense for adventure and travel, eldest is now teaching in China and younger dd spent month volunteering in Cambodia and is now training to climb Kilimanjaro