Who is BU, me or DH?

[bluedaze]

DH's friend had a DC a couple of years ago. At the time I said we should go visit and take a gift but DH was reluctant because things were not good between friend and his partner and he didn't want to get involved (for background info, friend and partner were not together when she fell pregnant and friend didn't want to keep the baby). Fair enough- his friends, his choice. Now we have our own DS and have received a gift from the couple (they are together but not plain sailing). DH says we now need to send their DC a gift - aibu to say we have missed the boat and sending a gift now is just weird?

Teeny bit odd yes.
Wait until easter or something.

I agree , you've missed the boat and it was your DH's choice at the time not to send one.
I would wait and send their DC a birthday gift instead

That would be weird.

Nice of them to send your DC a present.

Wait until their birthday if you want to send one back. Although you then might get into the habit of buying presents for birthdays every year. Depends if you want to get into that.

Agree you have missed the boat!

But also, we have given a new baby gift to a friend who didn't buy us a new baby gift when we had ours- im fine with that though. My mate just wouldn't have thought about it at the time. I might not have either if I hadn't had kids, but now I have kids I thought "wouldn't it be nice to send a gift".

I have no expectation of anything in return, it's nice to send a wee "welcome to the world" gift, but I don't want anything back.

If you don't want to get into awkward Birthday/Christmas territory and do want to send a gift, I'd wait a few months and send something with a label stating you'd seen it and thought it would be fun for a child of their child's age!

I agree with you. Perhaps say thank you for the gift and maybe arrange to meet up or invite over. If you do meet up you could give small gift to their DC. At age 2 the child would probably be happy with a small token to play with when you all get together. TBH showing interest in their family is probably more valuable than any gift you can give them at this late stage. If not meeting up then send card and/or gift at their DC next birthday.although depending on your relationship you might not want to get into the habit of exchanging birthday and Christmas presents. People don't send gifts to receive them.

I empathise with this. My Ex and I often disagreed about when it was appropriate to give presents/cards/flowers etc. He never wanted to and I did. In the end, after a few embarrassments (when I reluctantly did what he thought) I just went ahead and bought stuff and sent it.

Admittedly it is less straightforward when they are his friends rather than joint friends though.

We've agreed to drop it in and explain it as a late Christmas gift. Safe in the knowledge that I'm not the one BU I'm happy to let him get on with it