To think you shouldn’t call a child an idiot?

[littleemma1]

I was at the gym in the changing rooms and could hear a mother with her daughter and son in the next cubicles along (shared changing rooms between pool and gym)

Can't see anything wrong with 'stop behaving like an idiot TBH'. If they were being aggressive that's different.

For some reason that posted before I’d even finished!
The son and daughter were getting along fine, then he obviously did something wrong and the mother turned around and shouted “DONT DO THAT YOU IDIOT”
I don’t have kids so have no idea what it’s like (yet) but don’t feel that’s appropriate towards a child who was no older than 6/7.

'Idiot', 'stupid' and 'shut up' are worse than swearing in my house. Hate them

I suspect they’ll live and maybe they were being an idiot. Children need to learn to deal with worse than that.

No you probably shouldn’t but we all have bad days. Two of my kids have autism with one you can’t really tell. Some days I’m at the end of my wick and I’ve been up since two so I snap and I have snapped before. I’ve always apologised but everyone is human.

At such a young age though @crumb?
I have no experience yet but it personally made me feel awful for the kid. He was quite clearly upset by it too.

We make a conscious effort to not use words like idiot, shut up and stupid as my DF used to use them on me.

It’s tough on a bad day though. I’ve been known to to use ‘for goodness sake!!!’ And the like. Once I did let slip a ‘shut up’ before I could stop it but she was either doing a great job at ignoring me or didn’t hear

It’s hard!

There's no reason to speak to your kids like that!

I had once or twice with utter frustration and feelings of banging my head on a brick wall.

But generally speaking, calling anyone an idiot in this house is a no-go.

But as the OP said we have bad days. So long as it’s occasional.
They could be called far worse.

Hmm it doesn't sound like a very nice way to speak to children to be honest.

I’ve been known to to use ‘for goodness sake!!!’

I say 'for goodness sake' so often that DS(5) now says it too

It's not ideal, but everyone makes mistakes.

It's really easy to judge what others do with their kids when you don't have any. I've more than surprised myself with some of the things I've said when I'm at the end of my tether and that I never would have thought were ok - they're still not ok, I just judge people a bit less harshly mainly because I've had to be kinder to myself.

While it's not great to use words like idiot, stupid or shut up kids will hear far worse at school and, in the context of a secure, loving relationship, any hurt can be healed.

It's ok to feel awful for the child, but spare a thought for the parent - you have no idea what they're coping with day to day. I'd hate for someone to be assessing my parenting skills or my relationship with my children after a week of no sleep, endless toiletting accidents and constantly having one or other (or both) physically attached to me while struggling with a cold and the period from hell. That was me last week and I did, at a particularly low point, call my DD stupid. We spoke about it later and we're fine but someone only hearing that snap shot would be on mumsnet gathering judgy views and damning me as a mum - which is exactly what makes it so difficult to ask for help.

I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't say 'for goodness sake'!

Because you must be the most calm/patient/wonderful mum if you think saying 'for goodness sake' is pushing it a bit.

Mine are now adult so I can use FFS if I want.

Yep used it on mine as they were being an idiot and they knew it. Will tell them that they are being silly/ acting like an idiot but make it very clear to them that they are not stupid which is entirely different.

Pinky I can't imagine feeling bad about saying "For goodness sake!" What on earth is wrong with that?

Op I agree. I think that an adult calling a child an idiot is awful.

I think it depends on context, in a jokey situation it’s fine but not in anger

@Jellycatspyjamas I suppose I never thought about it from the parents perspective (please don’t judge me on that!)
Thinking about it, I have no idea what kind of day/week the mother was having but it did still make me feel uncomfortable, but even if I did know the situation I think just the use of the word towards a child I would still be uncomfortable.

Sometimes people - including kids - are idiots. I don't see what's wrong with calling them so! I was called 'idiot' plenty of times and to be fair, generally, it was because I was being an idiot.

I have the same rules as @seriouslyjuicy I cannot abide the words idiot, stupid or shut up said to anyone. All these words were used by my parents towards me growing up and made a huge impact on me. In fact, I still internally call myself a stupid bitch when I don’t catch myself in time.

I see no problem with it. Sometimes kids are idiots. I've been known to tell mine to "stop behaving like a weirdo!" before as well, when they were behaving absolutely weirdly... Doesn't seem to have affected us.

It entirely depends on how it's said though. If it's said viciously then it's different to a bit of a light telling-off.

Always say behaving/acting like, rather than *are

Same with naughty - stop acting like a naughty girl, rather than stop being a naughty girl.

Needs more context

Never said I felt bad for saying ‘for goodness sake’, we just seem to be a little over sensitive on this post and did ponder on whether that was also on the list of things that shouldn’t be said

I’m sure I say worse infact. I guess it’s also the way you say it though and the context in which it’s said.