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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be able to have a poo and a shower on a Saturday morning in peace?

30 replies

BasinHaircut · 06/01/2018 08:09

We were all up at 6:30 even though we don’t have anywhere to be until 10am today. Nice relaxing morning I thought, we rarely get one of these as normally at least one of us (me, DH and DS) has somewhere to be on a weekend morning.

Anyway we get up and have a nice cuppa and some cereal. Then I say I’m going to have a shower and sort myself out (me and DS are out today, DH is waiting at home for a delivery) knowing we have all the time in the world.

Couldn’t have a poo without DS demanding use of the toilet at the same time so I have to rush.

Can’t have a shower without DS needing ANOTHER poo and so being in the bathroom with me.

Then DH hangs about in our very small bathroom while I’m yrying to get out the shower. I tell him to leave so I can ohysically hey out of the shower. He waits outside the door. I have to tell him to move again so I can actually get past and into the bedroom. He follows me to bedroom.

Why can’t everyone just leave me the fuck alone for ten minutes? I have no space and it is driving me mad!

OP posts:
Original poster
BasinHaircut · 06/01/2018 08:10

Typos but I’m annoyed!

OP posts:
Doublevodka · 06/01/2018 08:16

I feel your pain. I have come to the conclusion that the only way to have a nice and relaxing morning is to live alone. And if I did that I would enjoy it for an hour and then miss dh and the kids that give me no peace.

dorislessingscat · 06/01/2018 08:18

I feel your pain.

Lock on the bathroom door.

I previously set a timer and told my family not to speak to me until the timer had gone off.

I have been known to lock myself into the car with my breakfast on a Saturday morning just to get some peace.

WombOfOnesOwn · 06/01/2018 08:18

I mis-read this initially as "to have a poo in the shower," and was absolutely horrified and going to tell you YABU.

Whether your DS is BU depends on his age, but your husband should definitely let you have some privacy so you can dry off and get changed in peace, if that's what you want.

thingywotsit · 06/01/2018 08:19

You have my sympathy. I'm currently in bed pretend ng to be asleep so I can have a few minutes quiet time before the day begins.

Original poster
BasinHaircut · 06/01/2018 08:25

womb DS is 4 so if he needs a poo he needs a poo. Thing isn’t if I hadn’t gone upstairs he would t have wanted one, he just wanted to be where I am.

DH struggles to appreciate that I am constantly in demand, and I do feel a bit sorry for him, as him unconsciously following me around probably wouldn’t bother me so much if I felt like I ever had any space but why feels the need to come upstairs at all when I’m getting ready is
beyond me. It’s just suffocating.

OP posts:
lalaloopyhead · 06/01/2018 08:33

YANBU

This drives me nuts. I'm upstairs on the toilet/in shower child comes up knocks on the door and shouts pressing question like 'Do you know where my Harry Potter socks are?/Can I have Coco Pops for breakfast?etc etc' All the time DH is sitting downstairs quietly sipping on a cup of tea watching the news! Why do they walk past him to come and ask me??? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/01/2018 08:33

I’m with you there. Dd is 9. If I’m having a shower and she needs a poo, she’ll choose the bathroom where I am to do it it in. She has more than one loo to choose from. But she wants to be with me.

ForalltheSaints · 06/01/2018 08:34

It is a pity you do not have a downstairs toilet.

FestiveNinja · 06/01/2018 08:37

You need an en suite bathroom, OP. The ensuite is all mine and DH and DS have to use the main bathroom or downstairs loo. DH is allowed to use ensuite in the middle of the night and for the occasional shower (as main bathroom also has a shower).

mishfish · 06/01/2018 08:40

My DS went through a. Phase of that no now specifically warn him that I’m having a bath so go to poo now. So now it’s just DP that suddenly needs to go when I’m in the bath. FFS

dorislessingscat · 06/01/2018 08:45

I know it's not possible for everyone but multiple loos and locks are the answer.

sonsmum · 06/01/2018 08:45

you found the time to write this post!
Enjoy being needed.
A time will come where you will not be so needed, and then you may miss these times that you are complaining about!

PollyPerky · 06/01/2018 08:46

I think if your DS is just 4, I'd invest in an 'emergency potty' for moments like this. Having only 1 loo is a real PITA- I was brought up in a house like that and it's still an issue when I visit my elderly parents!

Your DH should give you some space and stay out of the way.

The only other thing you can do if your DS poos regularly each morning is to time your shower after he's done one :)

Nizuc · 06/01/2018 08:48

Our dog has his water bowl in the bathroom (after repeatedly jumping in the bath and barking for someone to turn the tap on).

He now 'taps' on the door to be let in when I'm in there. AND THEN WANTS TO BE LET OUT AGAIN.

BrizzleMaverick · 06/01/2018 08:53

I was up at 5:45 today after being awoken by the 3yo this then woke the 3mo. I fed the 3mo then saw an opportunity for a quiet bath while 3yo was on the iPad, 3mo back asleep and DH also asleep. It was going well until 3yo needed a wee then I had all the bath toys in with me!!!

rothbury · 06/01/2018 08:53

At 4, DS is old enough to be told that you are going to be in the bathroom and the door will be locked so if anyone needs to use it they need to do it now as you will not be opening the door

Same goes for DH - he actually follows you around from room to room? Or have I misunderstood that bit?

DS will test it but if you stick to your guns he will get the hang of it.

I hope the rest of your weekend is a bit more relaxing Flowers

rabbitsdontlayeggs · 06/01/2018 08:58

Oh OP I feel your pain! My DD is nearly 2 and she wants to be glued to me at the moment. I'm a SAHM so it's quite relentless.

Me and OH have agreed to have one weekend morning to ourselves each. On our morning off we sleep in the spare room the night before so we get an undisturbed nights sleep in case DD wakes.

We then have an actual lie in (only till 9am or so but this is blissful) then up and we have an hour-ish to have a shower/shave etc get dressed, do make up (me!) all ALONE! Whoever is getting up takes DD downstairs, feeds her, gets her dressed and entertains her until the other one is up.

It changed our lives. We're still downstairs doing family stuff by 10/10:30 so whole day isn't wasted but we just have a little bit of peace.

We also text each other when we are getting up, and the one who is downstairs makes the other a coffee and bolts it upstairs quickly before DD can notice they've gone and insist on coming too Grin

writingsonthewall · 06/01/2018 08:58

Enjoy being needed.
A time will come where you will not be so needed, and then you may miss these times that you are complaining about!

There’s always one

IrritatedUser1960 · 06/01/2018 09:00

You need a downstairs 2nd loo urgently. I put one in 10 years ago in a tiny space and it has changed my life.

IrritatedUser1960 · 06/01/2018 09:00

P.S I have two cats and they have not alloed me 5 seconds peace in the toilet in 10 years, scratching and making a row outside Smile

tralaaa · 06/01/2018 09:03

It gets worst, I run a lovely bubble bath take in book only to have DS1 (30) Pop round for a chat, sits on the loo seat and chats away. another time I was in the bath and my DD and friends quickly come home got get changed and her friend ( who I know since birth and had lived with us for a few months when her home life was messy ) came in to wash her hands !

CatkinToadflax · 06/01/2018 09:07

Lock the door! And have another loo put in if you possibly can - our second loo is in the cupboard under the stairs.

DS2 is very keen on having a poo in the bathroom when I'm in the bath rather than using the downstairs loo. Hence I now usually lock the bathroom door. However I often have the dog in the bathroom with me to stop her banging on the door with her nose and whingeing to be let in. She's happy enough having a snooze on the bathroom floor whilst I get my half hour of peace and quiet!

ChristmasTablecloth · 06/01/2018 09:09

Mummyoflittledragon
Is there a reason why you can't tell your 9 year old to use one of the other toilets in the house?

CircleofWillis · 06/01/2018 09:57

Tesla’s is there a reason why you can’t tell your 30 year old to wait until you are finished in the bath?!!!!