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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to cut SIL out of my life

20 replies

Mummymiller85 · 05/01/2018 17:56

Ok, so my SIL has always been the overbearing, moaning drama loving type. Just the way she is, I have had a few run ins with her over the years. Main ones are last year when she was having a go at my DH about very personal issues which the kids were over hearing. I went in to tell her to jeep the noise down and she totally flipped out. Ended with me telling her to get out and kicking her out the house. Anyway with a lot of apologising and begging we let her back into our home, although things have been strained since. Fast forward to a few days ago when she comes round and again, drama, moaning, complaining. Anyway it then kicks off with the kids and all a sudden I hear my DS shouting get off her. Turns out my nephew has out his hands round my DD neck. We ask what is going in, he said my DD was calling names but asked the other 3 in the room at the time and they all said they were all just playing and he turned on her. SIL was having a go saying to sort the name calling (which by then had come to light had not happened!) but had done absolutely nothing about her son putting his hands around my childs neck!! My DS by this point is getting upset and told SIL to leave. She then gets in his face and says who the hell do you think you are talking to, your attitude is awful, talk to me with respect, if you want to see a temper I'll show you a temper. By this point I tell her to get out, I'm so k of her drama and want no more to do with her... I am done! DH has had several run ins with her over the years and i struggle to see why he keeps giving her chances. If I had put up with half of what she's done I would have given up long ago!! Sorry for the long post, just needed a rant I suppose.

OP posts:
Santasbigredbobblehat · 05/01/2018 17:57

She sounds as rough as heather, cut her out.

Helpotron3000 · 05/01/2018 17:59

If your children are in danger, you know what you have to do, yanbu

Comeymemo · 05/01/2018 17:59

Sounds like you two need each other.

Sorry but you don’t come across well in this post - very ranty and aggressive.

Ladymadness · 05/01/2018 18:01

Cut her out she sounds vile and abusive . Wine

FluffyWuffy100 · 05/01/2018 18:02

You both sound like fish wives

dustarr73 · 05/01/2018 18:02

Sorry but you don’t come across well in this post - very ranty and aggressive.

Would you not be aggressive if someone had their hands around one of your kids throats.?

I would keep it nc,your kids dont deserve that in their own home.

Cherrybakewrong · 05/01/2018 18:05

She sounds completely horrid OP, I'd go NC. How old are your DD and her DS?

mummyofthreemunchkins · 05/01/2018 18:09

Comeymemo... I am really not aggressive and absolutely hate confrontation. When she was in the kitchen having a go at DH it was a very sensitive topic that my DC didn't need to be hearing, I just told her to keep the noise down and she completely flew at me, hence why I told her to get out. This tine round of course I am going to say something, her son had his hands round my DD neck she she's in my DS face having a go

TrojansAreSmegheads · 05/01/2018 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chapterandverse · 05/01/2018 18:09

What age is your son who told his aunty to leave?

mummyofthreemunchkins · 05/01/2018 18:11

My DD is 8 and DS 12, plus little littlen who's nearly 1 cherrbakewrong

Angelicinnocent · 05/01/2018 18:16

Why is rough a reason for the op to put up with someone being abusive to her and her DC in their own home? Is basic respect and decent behaviour only deserved by someone who can react to her child being attacked with a polite request to leave their home if they wouldn't mind, so sorry don't you know.

For what it's worth, I'm far from rough but think I could have been mistaken for a fishwife in that situation op. Avoid in future.

MsWanaBanana · 05/01/2018 18:20

TBH you both sound immature, petty and aggressive. Just keep out of each other’s lives

Marriedwithchildren5 · 05/01/2018 18:27

To be fair I think your kids may have stuck together so I wouldn't rule out the name calling.

Other than that dn and sil's reaction was out of order.

I'd be a bit shocked at my ds asking someone to leave whilst there was a disagreement going on. Just all a bit bizarre!!

KarmaStar · 05/01/2018 18:32

Yanbu OP,I'd do the same.
Your DS was being mature asking her to leave imo.
Hope your dh will stand beside you in your decision.

mummyofthreemunchkins · 05/01/2018 18:35

It was also her DD conforming that my DD didn't say anything to him. My DS is very sensitive as well and was getting extremely upset. He didn't shout or get angry, just said to leave us alone and go home through tears. I'm not at all trying to portray my kids as little angels, they can be a pain in the arse with the best of them and I'll be the first to admit if they did wrong but all said DD done nothing

dustarr73 · 05/01/2018 18:36

Mummyof3munchinks are you the original op

mummyofthreemunchkins · 05/01/2018 18:47

dustarr73 yes I am 😊

beyondthesky · 05/01/2018 18:53

I think you did the right thing throwing her out.

Aside from the argument between the DC the way she spoke to your DS was completely out of order.

If someone told my child they would 'show them temper' they'd be bounced out of the house by time they'd finished the sentence!

She is an adult who has threatened a child. That is unforgivable no matter what went on before that.

NC all the way.

PricillaQueenOfTheDesert · 05/01/2018 18:56

SIL sounds a crazy as a box of frogs.

Dump her and never look back. Nowhere does it say you have to get on with family. Put your own children first.

Seriously, she does sound unstable, threatening with “you want to see a temper” sounds very abusive.

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