I am being unreasonable just need a rant

[Ellymay7]

I had my first baby 4 months ago and she is perfect however she has ruined my body.

I was never tiny but I now feel like an ancient fat streatch marked woman who has a constant bitch face.

Long hair constantly up because she throws up in it never any make up because she ribs it off and I don't have time fo4 it and I'm so un-confident with my body im still wearing maternity clothes and stretchy jenes.

I'm. A. Mess!

So I bought new clothes with some Christmas money and as I'm trying them of for my mum's opinion I ask what she thinks of one dress (grey and baggy with a nice neakline) and she says it's ok with a face on.....

I know this means the opposite....

Then she says what size is it? One up from me, Hmmm, I don't want to say anything incase it looms better on me.

I don't even know why this comment annoyed me so much but I'm pisses and thoroughly fucked off, fed up of being second best to my daughter, being told what my daughter wants from someone who has been in the house for 2 minutes ("she's hungry" "she's literacy just stopped feeding" "well maby she wants more") mocked for not being able to keep the house clean while looking after a 4 month old and at the same time being nagged to "go out more" (is this before or after the dishes which you just pointed out to me?) all by my mum and then this!!

I'm done I need chocolate and wine and not necessarily in that order.

Yeah, it's shit. Been there. It does get better as they get bigger though.

Are all these comments from your mum? Is she always a bitch so unsupportive?

You're baby is four months old, it's still really early days to get your body looking how you want it to (I won't say getting your old body back because we never do, but honestly, that's ok!) Be kind to yourself and ignore your mother!

Get them both!
If you are anything like me then it will take ten years after the birth of last child to have time to get yourself looking good again. Keeping the house clean came back a little sooner ☺
Maybe your mum could help out a bit instead of criticising - not that mine ever did but it's worth asking - nicely for now!

I think you have a mum problem not a baby problem

It is very early to be putting pressure on yourself to look like glamorous and have an immaculate home. This will pass xx

Most people I know felt like shit when their baby was four months. I just wanted you to know you're not alone

Give yourself time. And sounds a bit hippy but be kind to yourself.

I agree with pp about your mum. Is she always like this?! Have you tried telling her she's not being helpful? Does she realise how bitchy she's being?! If talking doesn't work I'd just let meetings slide a bit. Say you're too busy with the dishes or whatever else it is she says you should be doing

This isn't how new grandmothers are meant to be. My mum offered to do washing up, cooking, cleaning you name it. And always insisted i put my feet up, try to get a little rest while she looked after the baby. Do you have any other help around? I hate to say it but I don't think having your mum around is particularly helpful to you right now

OP has anybody told you that you're amazing? You've created and carried your daughter for 9 months. And now you are now nurturing and protecting her.

Ask your mum to please go home.

Rant Away you're amongst friends

It's so hard your mum doesn't sound like she's offering much help. If she's just adding to your stress and making you feel less confident, perhaps you should see her less? Was she like this before you had your baby?
Getting your confidence back after a baby is so difficult. You're definitely not alone there so don't put too much pressure on yourself. It will take time to feel normal again.
I'm just starting to feel normal again and my dd is 18months! (Although my post bf boobs will never be the same, but I'm starting to accept that too).
I'm sure the new clothes look great. Don't let your mum tell you otherwise x

Yep.been there.Totally lost my identity for the first year.I didn't recognise myself and I fucking hated it.I totally get this op but things will improve

For a start, absolutely no one has the right to voice am opinion on your body, especially after you've had a baby.

I fucking hate that we live in a world where women are expected to 'snap back into shape' after having a baby, there are more important things than fitting in a pair of trousers!

Tell your mum to mind her own business, or better still - help you - rather than judging you.

Do you have a DP? If so, he can do the bloody dishes and help clean the house, it's not all up to you!

Firstly, it gets better. Secondly - weight watchers online. The weight will fall off and your skin will glow. Thirdly - everything that everyone tells you that you should be doing is bollocks. When you have your second baby, you will feel so confident that you know what you are doing you will ignore it com0letely and do what you think is right. Do yourself a favour and jump to that stage right now. Fourthly, you need to start taking some time for yourself. Even if it is just a bath and a nice face mask.

It's only been 4 months. Forget about all the body crap and enjoy your a baby, I might be wrong but read somewhere that it takes your body a year to adjust from having a baby. Post baby bodies are just different. It should be a ruled that your allowed maternity clothes at least until baby is 1.

Do things that make you happy.