New neighbour aggravation how would you approach?

[Onthedowns]

So we live in semi detached property on our left side we have a shared boundary and driveway to our garage with another bungalow. There was a very elderly lady lived there who we wrongly assumed had no family, we and other neighbours helped her but she never had visitors. 4 months ago she sadly passed left property to a nephew who turns out lives 5 minutes away but was too busy to ever visit despite falls hospital admissions etc. Cue within a week of her dying him and his wife and her family in and out going through possessions etc chucking things out. I know it’s not normal but doesn’t sit right with me just find it distasteful. Cut a long story short they applied for planning permission for loft conversion and huge rear extension, during this time we had some concerns with regards to light into our kitchen and it would be severely effected by the loft conversion(hip to gable) I posted on a Facebook group site for experience or advice. Few people suggested things. This was In July Fast forward to October I am holiday get a Facebook message from the wife asking why I am querying light issues etc etc! She sends me a screen shot of my post , I am gobsmacked I don’t know her name etc etc. I replied saying we weren’t being difficult but had concerns etc etc. She was very pushy saying there won’t be any issues her builder said so they want to push on with permission and building.

So this sets alarms bells ringing not sure how she found my name etc etc!! Planning permission was rejected on few isssues. They are going ahead regardless with what they can under permitted development. Disappointed they think we scuppered it( we didn’t) every time I see her she’s nosey pushy and stroppy. Dropping in how quickly they are going to push on etc their builder isn’t going to mess about but it will affect us

From her point of view you sound like the difficult neighbour.

You've judged them for not visiting their relation and for going through her things quickly after her death.

Then you've complained about their (perfectly legal extension) publicly on a facebook group - which was clearly identifying enough for them to recognise you and themselves - yet haven't actually discussed your concerns directly with them.

They probably think you're judgemental, bitchy and difficult - and you haven't given them any reason to think differently.

Why don't you try approaching them nicely - ask them over for a cup of coffee - and aim for a fresh start as you've clearly got off on the wrong foot.

Is there no on street parking?

So what if there is?? My main criteria when i bought was a garage and driveway. I wouldn't park on the road, i want to use my drive that i paid a premium to have.

FB wasn’t the best place to air your concerns, very PA.
If the loss of light is caused by a facing wall, painting this white will help a lot. She is more likely to agree to this if you meet her halfway on the building works. Quite agree about the drive though, you need full access. If this isn’t possible they should expect to put the skip out in the road.

Really suggest smoothing things over first, it will be much easier to negotiate then. Also being nice to her builders, the odd tea and biscuits when she’s not around, will work in your favour.

Are you the neighbour WhatToDoAboutThis?

I wouldn't want a skip blocking my drive either - even if there was on street parking.

I mentioned no names or where I live on Facebook it was a township group. She didn’t know my name so I found it rude bombarding me on Facebook messenger querying why I was asking about loss of light. I understand their wanting to develop property but we have to live here as a family too. When we had work done 6 weeks we went round to all the neighbours spoke to them took cakes as there were builders vans everywhere etc. The property is vacant and they won’t be living there so she said she isn’t worried about length of time. On street parking is difficult hence we have two cars that park on our driveway- reason for buying a property. So for 4/6 months we can’t oark on the road. Council aren’t bothered and are having a site visit with regards to the permitted development. The light issue she said builder told her no issue so that’s fine. Haven’t seen the husband in any of this considering it’s his relative it’s her and her family. Her parents have been very aggressive when we have spoken to them with regards to getting plans through and ‘they will do what it takes’ we don’t to be difficult but it’s not a great impression from our point of view

It blocks 60% of natural light - but you didn't oppose? Why Op? Out of curiosity?

Cue within a week of her dying him and his wife and her family in and out going through possessions etc chucking things out. I know it’s not normal but doesn’t sit right with me

But I would say that was fairly normal? When my mil's very much loved mother died, they were going through things within a week, and plenty of other people do that. The stuff has to be gone through, and, from what you say they weren't close and the stuff wouldn't have sentimental attachment for them.

If you have 2 cars parked on the shared drive, then presumably they also have 2 cars spaces and so they can put the skip in one of those. If there's 4 car spaces worth there must be some place that is not blocking access/other cars.
If however you park 2 cars on the shared drive and leave them with nothing, then it's perfectly reasonable for them to use one of those spaces for themselves.

NO our drive is in front of our house but they have no drive in front of theirs, we access our drive by using the shared section in the middle. Which is clearly marked by our new driveway up to the boundary. Theirs isn’t it’s a muddy verge then concrete garden at the front. If there was a skip there would wouldn’t be able to access our drive for parking both our cars .

. Didn’t sit right as they never visited or helped her as they didn’t have time but found time to be here for 3 days after she died sorting her house.

We raised concerns with council but they said as they could do the hip to gable anyway within permitted development there wasn’t anything they could do so opposing is pointless. The council did a site visit too and we showed the light especially in winter months. As it was it was turned down for other reasons but now they are doing both sections within permitted development which kind of makes the planning application pointless!! In the first place!!

I can't see what she's doing wrong by here:

Your neighbour died and the house went to family. They cleared their house and applied for planning permission. You didn't object to the planning permission. Some plans were rejected and some were not. They're going ahead with the allowed building work. They will have a skip on their drive. You were spotted discussing the work in a fb group so she communicated with you.

What's the actual issue here? Yes, living next to building work is annoying and inconvenient but it happens all the time!

So the problem is that you are making a moral judgment on the family because they weren't involved enough in your neighbour's life? And you think they shouldn't be extending their house because they're not good enough people?

The driveway thing is confusing things OP. Can you do a diagram of some kind?

No I don’t like being contacted on Facebook by someone I don’t know about concerns I had, I find it weird someone hunts down someone and or their post from months ago. Then contacts then to try and push their views about their development forward . Not very politely either it would get anyone’s back up.

We have a shared central driveway which goes up to both garages just slightly behind the houses. We have had a driveway put directly in front of our house we use the central shared driveway to access our driveway as the central section has the dropped kerb. They don’t have any driveway apart from the central section the boundary is divided by ours to their line due to the fact we had the whole of our side paved etc .

If you don’t know how to use Facebook’s privacy settings then how is that her fault? Also public posts are public for all to see - a good social media lesson.

I don’t understand the driveway set up, but if I had a driveway there is no way I would allow someone to block my access so I had to park on the road. They want a skip, they put it somewhere I’d doesn’t inconvenience others.

On the subject of clearing the house, we started very quickly when DM died. In our case she’d done an equity release and the house had to be sold so we had to crack on. I did delay informing the equity release company until after the funeral though as there was no way I was having a skip on the drive for that.

She was unreasonable to question you on FB.

You are perfectly entitled to ask questions on a message board, especially as you haven't posted names and addresses.

I think it would be unfair for them to not carry out work because of the parking issue. A skip on the road may cause parking difficulties but if they don't have a drive, they have little alternative. (Unless I've misunderstood and they do have a driveway).

I would raise all your concerns at the site visit. Don't mention the nephew not visiting this aunt. It's sad but you don't have access to the facts and the inspector will not be interested.

I thought they have to pay for your surveyor if they want to build to the boundary?

I really think you need to separate the issues here.

1. You disapprove of them for not being more supportive.
2. Clearing the house of her belongings. Im not sure why you have an issue with this, it has to be done.
3. That the extension will reduce your light by 60%.
4. That the skip will disrupt your life.
5. That she traced you on fb. Tbh once you put something on socialmedia you lose your right to anonymity.

Really I can only see that 3 and 4 are justified, the rest is a bit irrelevant really but I can understand why your back is up. But if they have gone through the proper channels and are within the law i dont really see what else you expect them to do.

Redexpat, I don't think OP was expecting anonymity on FB.

But it's unreasonable for neighbours to be annoyed by and question OP on why she posted on FB. She has the right to do that.

OP has the right to post the neighbour's extension plans onto FB and publicly question them and the neighbour equally has the right to respond. You can say that both actions are likely to be annoying to the other party.

Surely if they don’t have a drive then they have to apply for permission for the skip to be on the road, not block the OP’s access.

If ever she kicks off remind her that you have the legal right to protect the interests of your own property - it's nothing personal.

My Facebook is private due to my job. I posted on a group chat mentioned no names addresses etc didn’t publish plans I said does anyone have experience of right to light issues then said about hip to gable plans when asked. I am still not sure how she found me 2 months after it’s weird sorry. No she needs skip in road or on her front garden but we need access to our driveway with two young children too. I generally get the impression they are just not bothered

She contacted you by Facebook because that is how you messaged her to object to start with - you didn't formally object to the council. sio she has taken that to mean you are happy communicating that way.

Her DH inherited a property and they cleared it. It doesn't matter if you didn't think they left enough time to be respectful. She probably has more time than her DH to deal with the builders and they are probably a normal family which consider their finances joint.

They are continuing with the conversion within the constraints of the law. They have given you an indication of how long the works will take which is the polite thing to do.

You have sounded off on FB on a public group and she responded putting her side of things.

I really don't see what the issue is either (unless you thought you were going to inherit because there was no family and are now pissed off about this?!)

Allthebest

You have sounded off on FB on a public group and she responded putting her side of things.

That's not true. The neighbour was pissed off with OP for daring to raise queries on FB. Read the OP.

I didn’t message her at all on Facebook I didn’t know her name!!!!