Teenager's bedtime AIBU

[InspMorse]

What age do you stop telling your DC to go to bed?
My 14 year old thinks I'm BVU & thinks I shouldn't have rules for this.
School night = lights out at 10pm.
Weekends = Leave teens to it.

AIBU to have strict 10pm rule ? What does everyone else do? What age do you stop having bedtime rules?

Teens need lots of sleep. Yanbu 10pm is late enough (Id even say 9!)

We never had bedtimes once they went to secondary school , and were pretty lax before that , never had any issues and they are both 18+ now .

My Dd is only 7 but I had a bed time of 9pm until I was 16 which was a bit draconian. I would do lights out at the time I go to bed.

I still tell my Y9 13yo and Y8 12yo when to go to bed (9.30 and 9, respectively), and take their phones off them at 8.30. I still made DS leave his phone in the downstairs no basket after 10pm and bugged him about going to bed if both he and I were up after 10.30pm until he left home! I’ve still done it over Christmas when he’s been back from uni, so YANBU in my opinion.

I definitely wouldn't be telling a 14 yo they had to go to bed but I would still guide them. They need to learn to self regulate and will soon sort it if they begin to get too tired.

Posted too soon. DS1 is 12 in Feb so at senior school and we don't enforce a sleep time although he has to be in his room by 930 he goes to sleep when he needs to and never takes the piss.

Tabby - why would bug an adult to go to bed at 1030?

*why would you

My dd is 15 and her paedeatrician says she should be aiming for 11 hours sleep. That isn't because of what she sees him for, that's just his general advice

According to that if up at 6 they should be in bed by 7pm.

That is never going to happen!

Zany because he sleeps in the attic and we all hear him thump up the stairs and potter around his room when he goes to bed also he’s naturally an early riser, and even if he wasn’t we have younger kids who are obviously up at the crack of dawn, so I know he’ll complain to me about being tired if he doesn’t get enough sleep. If he’s been out with his friends or coming back from a party then I’m in bed before him anyway and we get woken in the early hours by his entrance. I only do it if we’re both up and at home.

My DCs (16,15,12) have approx bedtimes of 9, 10 and 11pm during the week, but they are usually up a bit later than this. We do prompt them towards bed if they are much later than these times.

Weekends and holidays have no set bedtimes, but I would send the 12 year old up if she was still up after about 10.30.

DS16 by 11 on a school night,he has to be up at 7 for school on the weekends he's asleep by 12 at the latest.

DD14 10 ish on a school night at the weekends she's usually asleep by 11-11.30 at the latest.

DS15 takes himself upstairs around 9-9.30 but watches telly till around 11pm on a school night.

Blimey I'm obviously stricter than I thought! My 13 year old goes to bed at 9pm on school nights and 10pm on weekend nights. She gets so tired and I know she needs at least 9 hours sleep so if I she was still awake at midnight on a weekend I'd tell her off!

Tabby - fair enough re the noise although I would never be worried about an adult child bring tired, I think they can probably figure that one out for themselves

My DD has self managed since about twelve. She's very good...she sometimes stays up till about ten on a school night but is always up on time and her reports are very good.

Zany I only care because I have a very low tolerance for whinging

Cheap - yes it definitely works for us too. We have never found that DS1 is awake later than he should be even at weekends.

My 14yr old dd 10pm on school nights and the weekend is up to her.

Tabby - that did make me laugh. Yep totally with you there!!