How do I correct this with my DD? (definitely UR)

[OopsImwrong]

DD is 2.

She was playing her room earlier today and heard what sounded like the bed (we live in a flat) banging against the wall in her room. Checked on her and she was sat on the bed playing with her soft toys so assumed she'd been jumping around she can't jump off the ground but can sit and bounce quite high on both beds and trampolines gave her a warning.

Heard it again 5 minutes later, so went in and told that as I'd warned her not to do it for the rest of the day she wasn't allowed to play in her room without me or DH there. She cried, so assumed she'd realised she'd done wrong and we moved on.

DD is now fast asleep in her bed. And I've heard the noise again several times since she fell asleep. She's definitely not jumping on her bed as she's definitely asleep.

I feel awful for punishing her for something she didn't actually do, she loves playing in her room on her own and it usually gives me 10 minutes peace.

I assume the noise is upstairs flat in her bedroom moving furniture around and knocking the walls I hope that's what it is anyway but didn't connect it earlier as she's usually at work in the day.

So what do I say to DD tomorrow? Or do I just move on and forget it? I don't want her to grow up remembering I punished her for jumping on the bed when she wasn't.

Just move on - she's 2 it's unlikely she'll dwell on it. Things will happen like this for the next 18 years!

Mose How is strict to not want a child to jump on a bed? It could damage the bed which I can't really afford to replace if it does get broken.

I'd explain and apologise to her tomorrow. That will make her less likely to remember it long term I think as unresolved injustice is more likely to be remembered long term.

different rules in a flat too, bangin g on the walls is incredibly annoying for the rest of the block.

Apologise to her tomorrow. And you seem very strict, all my kids jumped on their, beds and no harm end came of it.

Hey OP

I would apologise and tell her why you are apologising. Remind her you love her.

She's 2 , she'll probably forget but it's important you do so and get into that habit.

I have a now 3 year old, and when we have to have firm words with her, she openly talks to us about how she feels . And I believe it stems from having that respect from us and not disregarding her age and ability to remember things.

DD also apologised to us and tells us she loves us when she's been a bit challenging.

I just think it's a good habit to get into.

As opposed to having a relationship where if you are wrong and she is right but you don't apologise - sort of unfair I think. Whereas apologising will teach her that you're happy to be open and admit you're wrong. Makes you more approachable when maybe she needs to speak to you about things in future.

Both me and oh came from families that were happy to accuse but never admit they're wrong. It taught us ultimately 'we can't really approach that person unless they're right' and felt like we were walking on eggshells.

Also, it'll probably make you feel better too.

Xx

Ohyes But I don't want her to jump on her bed as it makes a noise and bothers the neighbours. It's also only a toddler bed so I'm not sure exactly how much it would take in terms of beating. I'm honestly not strict, I'm one of the most laid back parents I know.

Will apologise to her tomorrow.

she's 2 if youve told her off for something only once or twice then she probably has no idea what u were going on about

There's no way she'll remember!

I agree about modelling an apology. Best way for her to learn how to do it herself.

God please don't take notice of these wild hippies who think you're strict! Not all of us can afford to risk an unexpected large bill, and she may be light now but she'll only get heavier. I agree with Munrow.

I also wouldn't want a child bouncing on a bed. I would be concerned about them hurting themselves more than breaking a bed though. I'd apologise to her tomorrow. My kids can remember the smallest of things many many years later and things they feel are unjust feature high up!

She won't remember long term, but it might be nice to apologize to her in the morning. Some parents seem afraid to show any sign of their being an imperfect human being to their children, but as long as it's an occasional incident and not a neverending stream of blunders and false accusations, it won't mess her up!

You must apologise and explain you were wrong. I can't believe people are saying she won't remember! It's less than half a day away for God's sake! I'm really quite riled at what I can only assume is pride being put before a little child. (not you OP, obviously)

My brother got into trouble for something with DM that it later turned out was actually my DF. I still remember my DM and DF apologising to him and it was 30 years ago, i couldn't have been any older than 4 or 5. (DB was 2 or 3.)

Only on MN are there people who are happy for children to jump on beds.

My DCs aren't allowed to jump on beds. Mattresses and beds cost money!! If they want to jump around there's a trampoline in the garden. They're also not allowed to throw things or run around inside. My house isn't a soft play centre. Go on and shoot me for my Dickensian parenting!!

OP it's amazing what 2 yo can remember and even if she doesn't, like PP poster said, making a humble apology will be setting a good example for her. Just a simple cuddle and quick chat is all that's needed.

I'd apologise. I wouldn't overly worry about it just say you realised she wasn't making the loud noise yesterday and you're sorry you punished her. It's unlikely she'll even really remember but I think it's never a bad thing to show them you can admit when you're wrong, take responsibility etc.

My 2 year old says sorry to me when he wants me to apologise now horrible mum here.

I am so not strict, mn would think I'm hippy dippy. But I don't let my children jump on furniture.

Just apologise to her, OP. She might well remember and even if she doesn't, it sets the tone for when she's older.

"Mummy made a mistake yesterday. I know you didn't jump on your bed. I'm sorry I told you off" is enough.

Thanks everyone will definitely apologise.

I never allowed jumping on beds, or kicking/throwing balls indoors.

I jumped on my own bed as a child & snapped off one of the legs twice

Definitely apologise - just say you made a mistake

Give her a cuddle tomorrow and tell her that you realised that she did not jump on the bed.

She might have already already forgotten / may not even be thinking about it tomorrow morning...

Don't worry. :)

God please don't take notice of these wild hippies who think you're strict!

'Wild hippies'?

What is with MN this week?

I would definitely apologise but lightheartedly, a 'deepest regret' kind of attitude would just worry her! If I were you when I got her up in the morning I'd say something casual along the lines of 'Hey, Mummy was a sausage yesterday!! I thought you were jumping on your bed, and I told you 'No Jumping!' didn't I? But it wasn't you jumping at all! It was just a creaky noise! I'm sorry Pickle!' all with a big happy smile and a quick dance around or toss in the air or whatever to make her giggle. Then move on. Mistakes like this are just part of being human.