Not strictly AIBU but I need the traffic right now. I feel lately I've really had my fill of bad luck now. I feel like I'm attracting it. But I'm not sure who I could talk to? I've tried counselling but I didn't get on that well as she just sat there nodding in all the right places, it was nice to vent but I need someone who's going to help me, give ideas and strategies to improve my mental health and talk WITH me.
I do really honestly feel that I am a good person with good morals and integrity, I also feel in life you get back what you put out so try so hard to be kind and positive, helpful and nice. But I feel I must have been a really crap person in a past life or something and now I'm paying for it
Some examples of my life so far in no particular order
I was arrested in my teen years for a minor offence committed under peer pressure, it's stayed with me for life as my biggest regret
Did not get into university (see above) so couldn't fulfill my dream career and probably never will
Ive been dismissed from a job. Tried to sue them as it was unfair dismissal however got sick whilst fighting it to the point I was hospitalised so had to drop the case
I grew up feeling mostly unloved and lonely, no abuse but parents were separated and I was often made to feel a nuisance, couldn't wait to get me to the other parents house etc
Married to a mostly unsupportive husband, not really interested in me or my problems
Average job
I don't really have a close friend/family member I can talk to about it all
Can't afford to buy a house but struggling to pay private rent even though earn ok money (story of half the country I know)
I must point out I do not shirk responsibility and do not think all my problems are someone else's fault. But I do need help with a way forward
Feeling like perhaps I am a bad personal afterall?
What do I need? Cognitive behavioural therapy?