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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu relationship help for sister

5 replies

Skrowten · 04/01/2018 12:09

Posting for traffic. Urgent situation.
My sister is in an extremely emotionally abusive relationship. Details are, they have one young child and own a house together. Not married. He is addicted to coke, spends all day in bed and doesn't work. She supports them both financially.
She desperately wants to end the relationship but he is refusing to leave the house and they are both trapped in a negative cycle of EA/depression/arguing etc. All witnessed by young child who is starting to be affected emotionally also. If he is refusing to leave the house what is the best course of action?? They are both on the mortgage. Situation at breaking point and she is in a very bad emotional state.
Thank you

OP posts:
WitchesHatRim · 04/01/2018 12:14

She needs legal advice. It isn't straight forward as they aren't married.

QuiteLikely5 · 04/01/2018 12:18

If he is a risk she can apply to the court for an order excluding him from the home. Not sure what it’s called/costs involved

IrkThePurist · 04/01/2018 12:23

She needs to get legal advice asap. Google for your local Law Centre and start there.

Justbreathing · 04/01/2018 13:01

If she's trapped, she's trapped for more of a reason than legalities.
could move out (maybe into yours, temporarily ?) then the house sale would be forced.
someones got to leave, and it doesnt sound like it's going to be him.

littlebird55 · 04/01/2018 13:06

Your sister can apply for a restraining order, she can also discuss with the police about a coercion offence.

If she or the child are at risk of violence or worse then she must move out immediately. I consider asking her to do this now in any case. The safety of the child is paramount, and I am assuming there is some escalation otherwise you would have posted before.

Is the house in her name or both? The legal responsibilities can be arranged in time, I would put their wellbeing first.

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