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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this godforsaken country is a shambles?

325 replies

Toysintheattic29 · 04/01/2018 08:48

THIS IS WHAT’S ON MY MIND: this country is in shambles. I’ve never seen so many homeless people on the streets; social care services unable to cope with overflowing caseloads; our precious NHS struggling to care for anyone at all (forget it if you have non life-threatening surgical needs or are elderly); train fares continually getting jacked up; rising costs; roads cracking up; broadband speeds laughably slow and the biggest con of all, BREXIT. Even in the austerity of the 1950s things were not as grim as they are now - at least we had a reliable health service and publicly owned transport systems and many members of the public didn’t have to rely on food banks.

OP posts:
LemonShark · 04/01/2018 11:22

I'm sick of seeing people say that they were treated on the NHS for free. It's not free, we pay for it with our taxes. It's a brilliant thing and I fully support it being free at the point of access but to state it's 'free' completely devalues it and is one of the reasons so many people take advantage/don't respect it at all. DNA their appointment cos 'it's free anyway'. Nope. It costs a fortune to run. It's not free.

Anyway I think Britain is pretty amazing. We have a relatively stable government, freedom of expression and religion, no capital or corporal punishment, more sex equality than a lot of places, very few natural disasters or animals that can kill you, decent roads, accessible healthcare, a relativity robust justice system (not without its flaws but at least we don't rely on vigilante justice), so many other things I can think of. A benefits system to catch you when you need it (not always, I've personally been the victim of being denied benefits I desperately needed short term and was entitled to but never got. I've never ever received a single benefit), seriously we are so fortunate compared to so many places in the world. We have it so good.

If you have a bed, a roof, a fridge, you're doing well compared to the world at large.

ParadiseCity · 04/01/2018 11:23

Britain is a wonderful place but the problem is it is run by greedy selfish bastards.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/01/2018 11:25

Both a very elderly neighbour and my baby grandson have received exemplary care from the NHS in the past year. My grandson was in the ICU twice, with the most excellent care, for a week.

Every country has its problems - only the very naive/clueless can surely think otherwise.

Anyone who thinks this country is a godforsaken hole might do well to drive off the ferry at Calais, and see the many groups of would-be immigrants who'd give their eye teeth for a UK passport of whatever colour. Hanging around in the cold and wet, sleeping rough, scratching an existence, having frequently been through God knows what ordeals to reach Calais in the first place.

As for the 50s being better, I remember them too, and they weren't.

And even in the 60s my mother was told to her fury by a tax official that her tax refund wasn't her money, but her husband's. ( Luckily my father was very far from a dinosaur with regard to women's rights.)

I applied for a particular job in the very late 60s, only to be told that sorry, we didn't make it clear, but it's not open to women, because you would have to travel around the country and 'even drive a car' !

One thing that I will happily admit that is definitely worse in the past decade or so, is the cost of housing, whether to buy or rent, particularly in London and the SE.

RavingRoo · 04/01/2018 11:28

@cote - they aren’t doing anything wrong. They can only afford to pay 12,000 us dollars pa for their insurance and sil has the misfortune to have a pre-existing condition. The US healthcare system is severely broken. (Coincidentally the US government pays more for this shitty private healthcare than Canada and Sweden do for their free healthcare).

Lindy2 · 04/01/2018 11:28

Please feel free to leave for somewhere better OP.
I think one of the country's problems is people who moan and complain without any positive contributions or appreciation to what they have.
Things aren't perfect - they never are. However, on the whole, the vast majority of us, are priviledged to have the facilities and life styles we do. So many people in the world have so much less.

user1471435821 · 04/01/2018 11:30

Ilovecamping I think my may have been in a
backpackers bubble, which I also was until I did some research. Australia has its own state based laws regarding car registration but that doesn’t mean they are bad. The laws regarding fruit and vegetables protect crops over a massive track of land. They have free essential heath care. Family benefits are not reduced as a result of living in a tent -I think you have have been a carefree and naive audience.

KC225 · 04/01/2018 11:30

I moved to Sweden three years ago from London and the school in London was a hundred times better. Things are cheaper there. I had an infected finger here, cost me 50 quid and I didn't even see a GP just a nurse. It ain't all bad, I would move back in a heartbeat

Snowdrop18 · 04/01/2018 11:31

KC are you the poster who posted about missing London humour and stuff?

RhiannonOHara · 04/01/2018 11:32

The 'it's much worse elsewhere/it's better than in the past' argument is bogus.

The UK, now, is where we are. Why should we not express views on how we would like it to be better? We're (for now, anyway) one of the richest countries in the world. That we have such high levels of deprivation/ poverty is shameful.

Whinberry · 04/01/2018 11:33

Rennie you lovely GP probably sold his share of the business to the larger company along with his 'goodwill". He main well still own the property and is still collecting some of your taxes by way of rent if that makes you feel any better? If he was a partner in the practice the he would certainly not only have been aware of what was coming but also have been instrumental in arranging it.

RestingGrinchFace · 04/01/2018 11:35

Dear god, how can you be so naive? The country is falling to shit because of the government own public sector. The NHS is a microcosm of that, just compare British healthcare to other countries. The countries where it works best have a large private sector and a small but effective state sector to pick up the slack. That is afterall how welfare was designed. As a safety-net not a free for all. It was inevitable that everything would go to shit as the population grew.

makeourfuture · 04/01/2018 11:36

East Coast rail 'bailout' could cost taxpayers hundreds of millions

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/nov/29/east-coast-rail-franchise-terminated-three-years-early-virgin-trains

It is not true that privatisation is by nature more efficient.

Public money funnelled straight in to private pockets. Just like the banks.

Allthetuppences · 04/01/2018 11:36

You do realise official homelessness figures are a complete charade? Counting as homeless does not include a barage of things, much like the figures of those jobless you can comfortably double them without hitting things that wouldn't sound like valid indicators of homelessness. Rough sleepers (the visible homeless) frequently do not appear either accurately portrayed - Coventry for example reported 0 rough sleepers by following the strict guidelines in 2010. They then did a similar exercise but discussing with those sleeping outdoors their situation and it was more like 8. Which sounds very low. But these were people that were willing to talk to official staff (pretty much knocks the number in half at least), were found within a 1 hour period in strictly the very central city areas. When there are probably far safer areas where someone could go unnoticed outside the centre.

makeourfuture · 04/01/2018 11:38

The countries where it works best have a large private sector and a small but effective state sector to pick up the slack.

The US spends way more on healthcare and achieves way less.

Look at the Kings Fund Reports.

Kursk · 04/01/2018 11:41

The same level of care costs Americans tens of thousands of dollars every yea

No, it really doesn’t insurance is $80 a month per person. With a $1500 deductible

SusannahL · 04/01/2018 11:41

Ok, so if everything is so terrible here (which it absolutely is not) why do we have around a quarter of a million immigrants a year wanting to live here?

Of course those immigrants are the main cause of our problems with the NHS struggling, overcrowded schools, housing shortage etc.

Just think about it - with in the region of 250,000 turning up here each year for years now, of course our infrastructure will struggle.

Oh how I wish just one politician would stand up and state the obvious. We don't have a housing crisis, we have too many people.

RestingGrinchFace · 04/01/2018 11:43

@Ilovecamping currently down under, I think that you may have been thinking of a different country. The quarantine isn't effective in most states and is only there to prevent the spread of fruit fly. Most people pay out of pocket for their (more affordable than in Britain and higher quality) healthcare but there is a publicly funded (also decent quality) system for those who can't. I'm pretty sure that the family you referred to were lying out of their arse. While the government won't fund irresponsible bastards who have obscene amounts of children that they cannot provide for there is social housing stock readily available, especially to families with children. Is it possible that they just were particularly entitled and refused to accept housing in an unpleasant area (where most of it is foraffordability reasons)? Life here is good enough if you are poor and earning a living is easy as pie if you put in a tiny bit of effort. If it weren't so uncultured I wouldn't have left, it's basically a free ride.

RestingGrinchFace · 04/01/2018 11:46

@maker, that isn't true open market privatisation is it?

@kursk America is the only example to which Britain can point to to say it is worse and that is largely a result of over regulation and protectionism

pilates · 04/01/2018 11:46

YABVU
Hardly think things were better in the 1950’s. There are countries far worse off than us.

Kursk · 04/01/2018 11:46

I moved from the UK and now only visit occasionally for holidays I have noticed a massive difference on the last trip back. Everyone was depressed, homeless people everywhere. Overcrowding, things were expensive and there was a general gloom about everything.

whiskyowl · 04/01/2018 11:47

Things are getting very, very much worse frighteningly fast. I think a huge amount of it is widening inequality and the emiseration of the most vulnerable in society. I no longer feel that the majority of British people are kind, decent, upright folks who will fight for the underdog - I think the majority are now selfish, competitive, greedy and pretty immoral.

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 04/01/2018 11:47

That’s right Love (OP), it’s all a shambles because the broadband is working fast enough...
Biscuit

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 04/01/2018 11:47

YABU

I love it here. I can't get enough of all that's on offer. I have no experience of a bad nhs, it's a brilliant facility where we are. Jobs are plentiful, scenery is beautiful, friends are fantastic. I never understand these threads, I love the UK.

whiskyowl · 04/01/2018 11:49

(I would point to quite a few comments on this thread, and rest my case).

MerryShitmas · 04/01/2018 11:49

I'm fucking sick of this shit.
I'm a leftie.
I also left the UK because of some of the issues you mention (and admit there are issues here - selfishly, they don't effect me, so I do what I can for others but love my own life too)
But I can't bare
"It was better in the 90's" with 110% mortgages and people working for £1 an hour (yes, that was a thing. I still have one of my mums payslips from 91 whereby she was paid 91 pence an hour as admin. Couldn't afford to heat her home or eat).
Child maintence was deducted from benefits whether or not your ex paid his dues. Meaning thousands of kids went without (how badly depends on how rich your NRP was) regardless. High poverty and yes, child poverty too!
Homelessness started to rise in the 80's and was at crisis point in this time period

Or "it was better in the 80's!" things were much the same and it was still difficult for women to get loans or debt of any kind without a male guarantor. Some places would say otherwise but wouldn't approve loans to women without that male guarantor.
Marital rape was still legal (until 1990/1991 I believe) and dv victims were told to "go and make your husband a cup of tea and say sorry for causing trouble" sometimes while still bleeding or with a black eye inflicted by that same husband.

The 70's.... the era of shit food and latch key kids. Still high poverty, parents working multiple jobs to keep food on the table. Kids still hit with rulers in school. Childline isn't made until the mid 80's. Kids are frequently abused but have nowhere to turn.
Child protection isn't much of a thing.
Police don't take DV or child abuse seriously and taking a belt to your child is socially acceptable in some circles still.

The 60's.
Most houses had only (quite expensive) coal heating available. Outdoor toilets were still common. Most people still bathed in a "tin bath" people still had the make do and mend mentality from the years of war austerity. Some people also had horrific psychological problems which they had to hide. One of my older family members threw himself in front of a train because of these horrific memories and there was fuck all in the way of support (Stiff upper lip, after all)

The 50's
People grieving still after the loss of their families, children still missing after displacement in the war. Rationing continues until the mid 50's (55 or 54 I believe) even afterwards, most people are poor and dealing with the horrific aftermath of war. Businesses and livelihoods were decimated. Milkmen, paper boys and business owners all died and went missing regardless of their previous jobs.
Miscarriages and pregnancy loss were a personal failing and it was socially acceptable to get a new young wife if yours was infertile.
Let's also remember that women had very few rights, poverty was high and women were expected to get back in their box and chain themselves to the kitchen sink (after a lot of the time holding down jobs while keeping the house running while their husbands and sons died horrific deaths in the war).

Which era would you like to go back to?
Would you like it to be legal for your husband to rape you, or for your son and hundreds of other sons and husbands to die at war? Would you like to have your food rationed, or do you want an outside toilet and a tin bath?
Would you like to be left destitute for being infertile (and then told by everyone you know it's your own fault or you're less of a woman?)

Or do you want to work for 11 hours a day in a factory on a night shift then sleep for 3 hours and work another 6.5 hours at a school, for 5 days a week, then spend the weekends doing 15 hours a day at your factory job (as my nana did in the late 60's as the single parent of 2 kids?)

This is my way of saying get your rose tinted specs off!
Every decade has its own problems and it's certainly nowhere near as bad as the 50's (unless you're so poor you're rationing an egg a week and eating mouldy food?!)

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