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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Regret getting a puppy

38 replies

Isawbambi · 03/01/2018 23:57

We already have a middle aged dog, who was happy and healthy. Thought he would enjoy having company, and it would keep him young. That was 9 months ago, the puppy is now a year old and our older dog is miserable all the time.

Pup is just so energetic and hyper, continuously bouncing about. He will ambush the older dog, always wanting to play. We try to run interference and make sure that he doesn’t pester too much (but if we separate them, they both whine!) but we’ve wasted a lot of money at the vets because FirstDog has been so stressed.

Anyway, the pup has stayed with the kids at my parents since new year until schools back... and the change in older dog is remarkable. He is back to his old self... this evening he was sat on my lap for a cuddle, and it made me realise how long it’s been since that happened (usually the pup pushes his way in, demanding attention)

I know that we have to step up the puppy training, we’ve let him get away with being cute for too long. I just feel so guilty that we have basically ruined our poor dogs life, and I know he’s going to be so depressed again when the puppy comes back ☹️

OP posts:

LineysRumBaba · 04/01/2018 00:01

What breed?

LadyWithLapdog · 04/01/2018 00:11

So sorry to read this. I hope you can address it now you've identified it as a problem. It's not the puppy's fault either for being playful.

MiddleClassProblem · 04/01/2018 00:12

What kind of stress behaviour is your older dog displaying? Just no details in op

KathArtic · 04/01/2018 00:14

Is there anyone who can adopt DDog2

feetonthetable · 04/01/2018 00:16

Does the puppy have a crate or can you put a system in when puppy has time in his space and older dog is in the fold.

A crate works well for this.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 04/01/2018 00:17

Puppies are energetic boundy and playful though, op. You sound surprised.

As pp says do you have anyone who could adopt him.

aliasjoey · 04/01/2018 00:18

DDog1 chews his paws and he just looks fed up all the time.

Yes I know somebody who might take ddog2, but we don’t want to give up. And he’s not a bad pup, just very very exuberant!

Howdidigethere101 · 04/01/2018 00:21

Is puppy getting enough exercise? He'll need a lot more than the older dog.

From experience, puppies do calm down unless it's an energetic breed.

What breeds are they?

But yes I agree to crate training.

aliasjoey · 04/01/2018 00:22

Not surprised that puppies are playful. Just surprised that DDog1 is miserable over it - we kind of thought that he’d put pup in his place.

If we separate them, they both get upset... but we might try doing that more... we have some work cut out.

Mumof56 · 04/01/2018 00:24

I know that we have to step up the puppy training

What strategies have you tried?

cathycake · 04/01/2018 00:24

I had this too op. Older dog who loved playing with other dogs on walks. So thought a playmate would be lovely.
I was wrong and it took longer than expected for my older dog to be quite so thrilled.
A few simple steps that helped us was to always feed elder dog 1st, and tell younger one off when he was climbing over old dog or just annoying him. Separate dishes, separate beds. They'll 'get it' eventually - when youngest got the snip it calmed him a little too so it got better instead of worse.
Old boy passed away 3 years ago - he was also epileptic and the younger one used to know when a fit was coming on and lick him as he was fitting.
They never were the best of chums but looking back I know they enjoyed having each other and I was glad that they had each other

Compare them to siblings... they argue and want alone time with Mum but also enjoy each other's company and cuddling up too, (that came much later)

Stick at it - my error was my eldest was very passive and youngest was dominant so we had to adjust his ways re feeding last and being more discliplined in trying to show who was boss.
Good luck stick at it you won't be sorry x

user1485778793 · 04/01/2018 00:26

I had this with my 2. They are 9 and 3 now. Same breed but totally different personalities. Younger dog is still very bouncy and puppy like but doesn't irritate the other as much.

They have a different social life lol. Older dog refuses to walk with anyone but me so dh takes younger one out 3 times a day to wear him out. Older dog has his mummy time as he won't play if the younger one is there because he just barges into him and tries to steal his toy.

Once a day they have a mad dash round the house chasing each other.
They are just like brothers. My poor dog has an irritating younger brother.

It can work out if you are willing to put the effort in?

cathycake · 04/01/2018 00:38

On a sad but sweet note I always got the impression that my younger dog idolised his 'big brother' and that's why he wanted all that attention from him.

He's now buried under his favourite hydrangea bush in the garden where he used to love laying in the summer in the shade.Last summer the younger one (he's 10 now) took to sleeping underneath there too... I laughed to myself thinking " aha you little buggar let's get a puppy and see how YOU like it" ---- always had dogs but this one is my last now but so grateful of the joy they have brought us all

NewBrian · 04/01/2018 00:47

I know how you feel OP, still feel guilty I got a 2nd dog. Shut the puppy away at times and give dog1 some undivided attention. Can anyone dogsit the puppy occasionally?

stopgap · 04/01/2018 02:00

I sort of have this, although my elderly pug (13.5) is in great nick and does like to play the fake biting game, and will give the pup a good nip if he’s becoming too fresh.

The pup is a pug/terrier mix, and has a ton of energy. When he goes overboard, though, I put him away and let my oldie relax by the fire or on the sofa in peace.

Mostly they get along great and snuggle together in a giant bed. I’m bonkers enough to consider adding a third, as I don’t like having a solo dog.

aliasjoey · 04/01/2018 08:52

Some great suggestions here, thank you all.

I’m going to start separating the dogs more, it’s hard because pup is very clingy. One of the kids is going to take him out for an extra walk before school.

He has so much energy that I’ve always walked them off lead, but he gets over exuberant and body slams DDog1, once he even bowled him right over. I’m starting to put him on his lead now, but I hope he gets enough exercise that way.

The stupid thing is if we try and play with pup to wear him out, DDog1 gets jealous and tries to join in... but then gets annoyed when pup is being too playful.

They’re both miniature poodles but pup is bigger.

ButchyRestingFace · 04/01/2018 08:55

Name change fail, OP?

Original poster

Isawbambi · 04/01/2018 15:53

oops Don’t know why I bother namechanging because I always mess it up.

I would make a terrible spy / troll / sockpuppet

OP posts:

SistersOfPercy · 04/01/2018 16:42

@Isawbambi This wont help, but years ago we had a Westie. He was 2 when we brought home a Scottie pup. They rubbed along together, Scottie was as mad as a box of frogs and Westie very aloof and laid back.
When Scottie was 9 he died from liver failure. We prepared for Westie to be affected by this, but were amazed by his reaction. This quiet, aloof little dog suddenly came out of his shell. He was loving, bouncy, affectionate. I felt awful for a long time that I'd never noticed how having the scottie had affected him. He lived to 14 and was a different dog.

You're kind of there now, you have the pup and I'm guessing the kids would never be happy about rehoming, so make the best of it. Put pup away for an hour and give lots of cuddles to older dog. I'm sure you'll find a happy medium.

aliasjoey · 04/01/2018 18:37

Since I’ve outed myself anyway, I might as well post a photo

This was taken the day after little one arrived - he was about 13 weeks. You can already tell he’s going to be cheeky...

Floralnomad · 04/01/2018 18:42

Could you afford a dog walker or daycare for the pup a few times a week , will give him more exercise / entertainment and give the older dog a break .

Lucisky · 04/01/2018 18:47

Ah, he's a ginger one! I have got a red toy poodle and she is very active; I have had many puppies but never one like her. She is a constant whirlwind of activity, and, not knowing a lot about poodles before I got her, I do wonder if certain colours are more batty. She rarely slept as a puppy and is into everything all the time. It's not a problem as I am retired, so have plenty of time to play and train, but I would like to get another dog to keep her company and I wouldn't get another poodle just in case the next one is as demanding as her.

Babyroobs · 04/01/2018 18:48

I could havd written your post myself. We got a new puppy in september. Older dog is thoroughly miserable and I feel so guilty. I'm completely fed up of hearing them snap and growl at each other. It's hearbreaking. I havd considered re- homing the puppy so many times. They get seperate walks from me , dh takes them together. They fight over everything . You have my sypathy and I've no easy answers.

RedRosie · 04/01/2018 18:48

No help or useful experience here Alias ...

But they are adorable!

Thedietstartsnow · 04/01/2018 18:50

What utterly lovely dogs...I've a pug chow terrier cross.shes 10 months...your brave having 2 dogs...one is more than enough for me

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