Too many texts!

[Littleblackflowers]

Hi MN
Going on a date on Saturday with a guy I 'met' online.
Started messaging him over Christmas / NY break. Lots of messages and a good laugh. He messaged me at midnight on NYE when he was out with friends. Both back at work on Tuesday & he is messaging me constantly! I leave a few hours between messages & he always messages me back immediately...
Lots of 'Good morning!' messages & it's almost starting to be a massive turn off.
Questions questions & telling me every detail of his day (just cleaned the bathroom....'
AIBU to be a bit before I've even met him? Would this get on your nerves?

He's obviously very keen!! Maybe the texts will die down a bit once the 'newness' has worn off but I'd probably start leaving it a good while before replying just to give a bit of a hint that you're busy and can't spend all day texting him. I've had to tell my other half to cut down on the texts in the past as it leaves nothing to talk about when he gets home

Oh god yes. It might be worth having the date and seeing if this is just some mad level of nervousness on his part - but I don't think I could be arsed. If he's annoying before you've even met him then it doesn't really bode well for the future.

It would drive me insane and I'd probably call off the date. In fact, I have done that with people who've been like that, it just doesn't suit me at all.

But then, what do I know!?

He cleaned the bathroom. He's a keeper

Thanks both
I feel really every time I look at my phone.
Maybe I'm just getting old & miserable!

outtogetyou
I'm soooo close to cancelling.... 😱

Nancy .... maybe.... .....but why would you be reporting back on that?

I had a guy do that. It was nice at first but it became tedious and humdrum and I had to tell him flat that I couldn't maintain communication to that intensity. It killed the thing dead

It would get on MY nerves.

But you haven't met him yet, play it by ear and see what happens when you meet.

He might think you want that, my DH’s ExW used to call him and text him constantly at work, and expect the same in return, he thought that’s what “all women want”, whereas he’s lucky to get a solitary WhatsApp from me 😹

My dp used to be like this. And calls.. I was on the phone so much of the day! I got to the point where I stopped answering the calls that were inconvenient, stopped replying to pointless messages or certainly left gaps in between.
In the end it we had some other issues and he threw it out as something that bothered him, me not picking up/ replying so much. I had to say it out loud to him, when I’m talking to you and giving you my attention, I’m not spending it with my kids. I’m not napping when the baby does. I’m getting no rest.
Now he’s a dream, I’ve trained him up a bit 😉 but at the start of a potential dating period with someone... I’d cut them loose. Too clingy for my liking:

Too clingy if you've not already met!!! When I dated my DP in the early days, I told him I wasn't allowed my phone out at work!!! It's never been a problem. Hope you like him 😁

Why don't you text him and ask him not to send so many texts. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'd meet him. Decide from.there how you feel. ( I thought initially it was a flurry of
messaging/calls. Then the novelty wears off..........)

I ghosted someone I was chatting to online for this. In hindsight I should of told him it was all too much. Coffee date? Then you can leave quicker if needed?

I would give him a chance and meet him, but I would also be honest with him if the incessant texts continue. He could be a clingy weirdo with no social skills, OR he could be a genuinely nice guy who is really keen on you and wants to get to know you more but is being a bit too excited to get things going. Be honest and open. That's the cornerstone of any worthwhile relationship.

One date can't hurt, you can see what he is really liek

This would drive me crazy.

Tell him you are turning your phone off for the day and won't be responding to any texts.

Tell him one of your New Year's resolutions is to spend less time attached to your phone?!

I know it actually should be for me at least....

Thanks all of you
No text yet today!

Cancel

He is annoying you before the first date . Life is too short ! And tell him why as tactfully as you can

Sheesh !!!

He cleaned the bathroom?! The signs look good OP.

Agree with others, if he's annoying you already it doesn't bode well. I think if you really liked the sound of him ( obviously you won't really know without meeting) then you would get a little bit of excitement when you see his name pop up on your phone..but you never know. I would give him a chance.

He's far too needy

Cancel the date and block

Did you go?