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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being replaced at work

23 replies

Blythwind · 03/01/2018 21:04

Not sure if this is the best place to post, but after some advice...

I told my boss that I am pregnant (purely because he called me into a meeting to discuss restructuring and that he wanted me to become a team leader, so I felt I ought to let him know). I said I was informally telling him, and that I didn't want anyone else to know yet and that I'd formally tell work when I was further along (I was 12 weeks).

Boss congratulated me, and reassured me that my job was protected, the team leader role was still mine to take, and explained any further recruitment would be below my level.

Today boss cornered me and said he wanted me to tell the office manager so that she could start looking at recruiting my replacement. He wants to take on someone at my level, who would fill the team leader role. I was slightly gob smacked as this was the opposite of everything he'd said.

He has assumed that I'll take a few months off, and that I'll then go part time on my return.

No idea where he's got that from. My current intention is to return full time after six weeks and for husband to take shared parental leave...

I'm still only 16 weeks so a lot could change. I think he's jumping the gun wanting to recruit someone already. I think it's unfair that I'm effectively being replaced when I haven't even gone yet.

I don't want to tell any other colleagues, and don't want him to either.

I also want to avoid being pushed out.

Have I got any chance of stopping this happening? AIBU to expect him not to recruit/protect his business??

For context, I worked with him for 10 years at previous company. Then she he set up on his own, he recruited me first. There are now 10 of us in the company.

OP posts:
lookingforthecorkscrew · 03/01/2018 21:05

Are you in the UK OP?

Allthewaves · 03/01/2018 21:06

Give formal notice of your pregnancy asap.

Blythwind · 03/01/2018 21:07

Sorry yes.
We don't have an HR department

OP posts:
Blythwind · 03/01/2018 21:07

Why would giving formal notice help? Sorry if that's a stupid question?

OP posts:
NurseButtercup · 03/01/2018 21:08

"My current intention is to return full time after six weeks and for husband to take shared parental leave."

Have you told him this?

Blythwind · 03/01/2018 21:13

Not specifically. At the time, I told him we were looking into shared parental leave (at that time we weren't sure whether it was possible with husband being in the police) and I made it clear I didn't want to be off for long

OP posts:
notquiteruralbliss · 03/01/2018 21:14

What nurse said. Tell him your plans. I don't think he's allowed to ask you. Accept the teamleader role. Get involved in recruiting someone to cover for you for 6 weeks not to replace you.

BalloonSlayer · 03/01/2018 21:14

Talk to him! Explain you intend to come back and are entitled to do so. If there are only 10 of you in the company recruiting someone to replace you unnecessarily would not be very cost-effective. He will be increasing the workforce by 10% for no reason

SingingSeuss · 03/01/2018 21:19

Tell him your plans. If you are off for less than 3 months it's not worth recruiting. The role could be covered in team as a development opportunity.

dertyyuoih2 · 03/01/2018 21:22

Your husband can share parental leave in the police, just so you know. I know lots of officers (male) who’ve shared it with their partners who aren’t in the police.
Your husband will need to speak to his local HR, I think he will need a copy of your Mat1B once it’s issued as well.

Blythwind · 03/01/2018 21:23

I'm going to talk to him tomorrow. He caught me off guard today (first day back after two weeks off) in the kitchen of our very open plan office, so I didn't get to say much today.

The problem is that husband and I haven't actually finalised the shared parental leave option with his police force, so I suppose my plans could end up changing. I just want a few more weeks to sort this stuff out before formally telling work :(

OP posts:
KitKat1985 · 03/01/2018 21:23

You need to tell him that you intend to return full-time and still want the team leader role. But I do think returning after 6 weeks is potentially ambitious. If you intend to breastfeed or have any post-birth complications it may not be possible to return to work so soon.

LIZS · 03/01/2018 21:26

Legally you are not obliged to inform them yet, let alone discuss your plans for ml and cover. Once you receive your MATB1 form at around 26 weeks you can then work out your leave and maternity pay.

Blondephantom · 03/01/2018 21:28

Formally telling work doesn’t mean everyone at work gets to know. It will also afford you a lot of protection in law and time off for appointments, etc. The person in charge of hr issues will be informed (procedure should be in staff handbook) but not anyone else without your consent.

isitme88 · 03/01/2018 21:32

When you go off on maternity it is automatically assumed you take 52 weeks off (please don't flame me, it was in my contract at work, so apologies if wrong) unless you state otherwise. You tend to have to give 8 weeks notice of return if you come back sooner than the 52 weeks, if you have not formally agreed anything beforehand.
Speak to your boss tomorrow and let him know your intentions

Blythwind · 03/01/2018 21:45

Thanks everyone for your input.

OP posts:
MrTrebus · 03/01/2018 21:50

Is this your first OP? my advice is not to say formally that you intend to go back to work after only 6 weeks (!) Full time,I was the most unmaternal woman ever then once my DD came along I did not want to leave her. I'm going back after 11 months off 4 days per week instead of going back after 6 months full time like I originally said.

edwinbear · 03/01/2018 22:08

I too think you must formally advise work that you are pregnant to ensure your legal rights not to be discriminated against kick in. There is no need to formalise your return to work yet, but there is no harm in letting him know you are investigating shared parental leave with your DH.

Tistheseason17 · 03/01/2018 22:42

Please call ACAS asap.
They will give you sound advice on the protected rights you have.
Your boss cannot do what he is proposing. He is actually legally obliged to offer you a trial period in the role you return to.
Another daft boss who thinks women turn into something else when they have a baby!

SaltySeaBird · 03/01/2018 22:49

I returned after 6 weeks with my first and breastfed for a year so that is possible.

MakeLemonade · 03/01/2018 23:06

I don’t actually think he’s being unreasonable to start thinking about recruiting your cover - it can take a while, especially when hiring into a small business. It is also his problem to manage when you return if he’s offered your cover a longer contract than you end up taking - it’s not uncommon and often happens other way around too with people covering mat leaves being extended.

I wouldn’t commit to any return plans yet either, there is a reason they aren’t allowed to ask and it’s because people often can’t make that call until the baby has arrived.

RestingGrinchFace · 03/01/2018 23:10

This seems more like a miscommunication. He's expecting you to leave for a long time (and possibly not come back full time if at all). Of course he is looking for a replacement. Just explain to him that you aren't going to be taking on the majority of the childcare and will return to work as soon as you are recovered instead.

Redcliff · 03/01/2018 23:45

Managers can ask what peoples plans are but people don't have to tell them. It does feel a bit early for him to be making plans but it makes a change from the last minute scrabble I often see from managers

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