To consider NC with my Dad for this?

[NotADaddysGal]

Me and my Dad have a strained relationship, not helped by the fact that he's very self-centred and in it for what he can get.

While growing up I had a childish nickname which I didn't mind him and my mum using until I got to be a teenager and wanted it to stop.

My mum stopped as soon as I said, he won't stop using it. He says I'll always be his "little nickname" and I'll understand when DD gets older how he feels - DD is 2 and we have a nickname for her which we use only in the house, and if she ever said "stop using it" me and DH would absolutely respect that and stop. She has a lovely name which we picked and would use instead.

I have a very simple 5 letter name which isn't hard to pronounce at all and he infact chose according to my mum so I can'[t understand why he won't use it.

I am seriously considering stopping contact with him for this. It won't affect my relationship with my mum as they split up a few years ago.

So WIBU to go NC if he won't stop using the nickname after I ask him again? for the 10th time

Make up something offensive to call him and insist on using it.
Or go nc.

I would say he is faking a closeness with you by insisting on using a name you had as a dc.

It does seem very silly, and extreme to go nc over this.

It sounds to me like the nickname thing isn’t really the reason that you want to go NC. The ‘strained relationship’ you mentioned more briefly is much more psychologically interesting.

Yabu - very extreme, is there a backstory?

I'm sure there will be posters along to say "how OTT to stop contact over a nickname" etc

Except it isn't about a nickname, it's about his refusal to respect your adult boundaries and treat you like an equal human being. Using a nickname against somebody's expressed wishes is bullying. He's using it to belittle you and minimise your feelings.

Are there other issues? Because it seems quite dramatic to go NC of this.

He's very generally all about himself, unless he looks good he won't do it. And yes he split with my mum as she was fed up with him trying to control everything including when and where she could go and with who amongst other issues.

He's very generally all about himself, unless he looks good he won't do it. And yes he split with my mum as she was fed up with him trying to control everything including when and where she could go and with who amongst other issues.

YABU.

Going no contact is a massive deal and it does appear extreme to do this over a nick name. It sounds like he doesn't understand how hurt you are by his refusal to change what he calls you. Can another family member speak to him for you to reinforce the message? Is his refusal to listen in general the real issue? I am not sure if no contact is the way to go but certainly stand your ground.

Going NC is very extreme if this is the only issue but I suspect it isn't.

I've been NC with my dad for over 20 years, for a very serious reason, and I still struggle with what I'm going to tell my sons when they're old enough to ask questions about their grandparents.

I also lost my mum when she was only 61 - we'd fallen out when she was diagnosed with cancer, over something much more serious than this, but at least I had 18 months to rebuild my relationship with her before she passed away. It would destroy me if we had been NC for no good reason when she died.

He generally doesn't listen yes, he thinks he can enforce rules on DD that we had as children i.e. we had to eat everything before leaving the table, which is not how I parent DD.

I'll have a word with my brother and see if he'd listen to him.

Maybe if we knew his name we could come up with a selection of offensive name you can use....