To tell aunt to stop posting pictures of grave?

[CBAforThis]

My Aunt (married, not blood) is one of these people who likes to post absolutely everything on FB. From pictures of her child in hospital, to posting statuses pleading poverty, if my family members are sick to the yearly tagged picture of my dad's grave. Sometimes she just randomly posts a picture of 'we popped down to see John, we still can't believe he's gone and they'll always be someone missing in our lives' etc etc. It really ruins my day, as the last status/pic she posted I was out celebrating with friends.

I think it grates on me due to the amount of sympathy she gets. It was my dad, he died ten years ago, we're managing to carry on in life so i'm sure she can as she only saw him a few hours a year at best. It's like she really enjoys the sympathy and if her kids aren't sick, or if the car isn't broke the picture of my dad gets pulled out to get her dose of attention.

Also, where do all these people come from with all the sympathy?? She'll easily get 30 comments with people popping up if she needs to talk, or how kind she is. She literally posts various statuses three times a day attempting to get attention. Surely if people stopped pandering her she'd evidentially get bored and do something else with her time.

My cousin has posted photos of my father on the anniversary of his death a few times, talking about how much she misses him. The first year she did it, it was not pleasant to log onto facebook and see my Dad´s face pop up unexpectedly. She gets lots of sympathy for "her loss". It bugs the hell out of me, tbh, but she seems to need a lot of attention and sympathy on facebook.

I get what you mean op. My auntie was posting videos of my mum days after she'd died. Hard to explain but it was in really bad taste and upset me a lot.

The thing is there is not much you can do about it. I just blocked her and told her it was upsetting but she didn't really care as she was getting a lot of attention from her grief fans.

I would like to think I could maintain a dignified silence but her act is just so undignified and disrespectful I would have to post something. Not confrontational but just simply stating that it is upsetting. There will come a day there will have to be no photography signs in cemeteries. Is there no flipping decorum anymore?!

That's the thing NickNacky you could never anticipate that kind of outrageous behaviour! And the fact your aunt had similar friends who cooed over puppy photos!

Like I said some people like to be miserable, they soak up the "hugs" and "likes" makes them feel important facebook can show you what people are like.

My sister does this!

I ignored the first time but after that I call her out on it, every time!

She's either stoped or stops me seeing here 'Miss dad' posts

(He regularly beat our mother, was cruel and controlling, and buggered off to the other side of the world, then sneakily returned and never paid a penny to my mum for our upkeep a nobody misses that crap

She did announce that my Grandad had had a heart attack on FB before I was told as I was at uni at the time. She got the wrath of my mother (parents were separated when my dad died) on that one of how upsetting it was to be getting updates via facebook statuses. She did it again a few weeks later but in her defence she thought I already knew (I was abroad at the time and had my data turned off!)

Why oh why do it?

I don't actually want to do delete her as I've got a feeling she did tone down the sympathy statuses when I dropped into conversation to my nan that I already knew private family business from her FB. Then again I wouldn't be surprised if she already blocks me from certain ones.

My sisters colleagues recently posted pictures on Facebook of them (smiling and clinking their drinks) at a friends wake. The same day as the funeral. We were appalled. They really weren't even friends more acquaintances from work. I wondered how the family must've felt.

I think we've all got people like this on FB, to varying degrees and I know exactly what you're talking about.

There is an option to ''unfollow'' without ''unfriending'' - I choose that option with people such as you've described. It means there's no drama created by unfriending them but I no longer have to see what they post unless I actively search for it by clicking on their page.

Some people live their lives as the ''victim'' even when they often have it better than those around them. They are attention seekers with zero gratitude and self-awareness. The best advice I can offer is use that unfollow function and focus on the good things and people in your life, it will do your mind a world of good - those posts will just continue to wind you up otherwise.

I hate people like this.

They're just attention seeking. Ignore them. Take them off your news feed.

I've also now unfollowed her so I don't see what she posts but she tags me with anything to do with my Dad. She often does 'We're thinking of CBAforThis at this time of year, RIP john'

Ugh, ye gods! That would give me the dry boak.

I texted a cousin a couple of months ago on the first anniversary of their parents death. Wouldn’t have dreamed of sticking a post on FB about it, not least because they didn’t have any status up about it.

She sounds grossly insensitive although I doubt she means to be. Obviously doesn’t have enough to keep her busy in her own life.

I would definitely unfollow to avoid seeing pictures you find upsetting at times you are not expecting, it must be very distressing
However, just to play devils advocate is there any chance she might find the pictures comforting? I only say that because I had to move away from dd's grave and when I visit and tend to her I do take a picture often with her siblings in it. Ds3 was born after she died and it is the closest thing I will get to a family photo of them together. I'm not on Facebook or anything so no one sees the pictures unless they specifically ask me about her grave. But the pictures do mean so much to me.

Unfollow her posts and stop allowing her to tag you in your privacy settings. Problem solved.

My dad died recently and my cousins were on fb after the funeral talking about it (in a tasteful way and they did wait until I had mentioned it etc), but somehow having people I don't know (and he certainly didn't) popping up and talking about their loss irked me.

In reality it is their loss. It might be a lesser loss than mine, but it's a loss.