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AIBU?

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Original poster

Male aggression....

12 replies

IHATEPeppaPig · 03/01/2018 15:59

I am wondering if I am over thinking this but it has made me irrationally angry so thought I'd brave AIBU...

Now I know this part IABU but it was a complete accident and it was the wind not my incompetence- I was putting DC1 in the car (DP putting DC2 in car so couldn't see him from my side) and the wind blew the car door and it tapped the car next to me - i immediately said sorry to the guy in the car, I looked at the car and there was no damage and pulled an 'ooops so sorry' face to him.

Quite rightly he got out to look but he was really aggressive towards me and started yelling at me that it was a company car and he'd have to pay for damage and even when he looked at the car and saw there was no damage he kept on being aggressive. Now I'm 5ft and he was at least 6ft and big built, I kept apologising and said it was an accident and there was no damage but he was just being intimidating - when my DP got out the car after he realised the bloke was shouting at me the guy suddenly changed and said 'no worries mate, I was just worried about damage is all' and got straight back in his car. My DP didn't even say anything other than what's happened?

Now, his whole demeanour changed as soon as he saw I wasn't on my own and was with a man and this has pissed me off - this is sexism that is still so prevalent, men who are trying to assert power over someone who they think is more vulnerable than them and they can get away with it!!!

Am I being precious or was the guy a total dick?

OP posts:
MrsSpenserGregson · 03/01/2018 16:04

No, you are not being precious, and yes the guy was a total dick.

Didn't even apologise to you for his filthy behaviour even after he realised you had a penis-bearing person with you.

What a coward.

LittleMyLikesSnuffkin · 03/01/2018 16:07

Nope not precious at all he was an utter bellend there is an awful lot of these types of men about sadly.

Firesuit · 03/01/2018 16:07

I read lots of things on here where a random woman has had a stranger in public have a go at her, for little or no reason at. Strangers both male and female. And I think: nothing like this has ever happened happened to me, I wonder if it's because I'm a guy, and people only act like this when they have zero fear.

In this case though I think his genuine emotional reaction was the one he gave you, and he was afraid of your DH. It does sound like he went on too long, but there are lots of people on here who think it doesn't matter if you bang a car door, whereas the emotional reaction of a new car owner is going to be "you've just taken £500 from me without my consent", i.e. they'll be pretty annoyed until they've had lots of time to process no damage has been caused.

Hatsoffdear · 03/01/2018 16:09

Nasty bastard bully op. They are out there sadly.

KimmySchmidt1 · 03/01/2018 16:11

No you are not being precious, he blatantly was using you as a way of letting off steam without having to worry about getting lamped and when he saw your OH he realised he couldn't get away with the tantrum any more without a risk of getting lamped so he shut up.

shatteredandfedup · 03/01/2018 16:13

Firesuit you started well but then descended into justifying this sexist areshole.

He stopped when he saw a man was there - so he was able to control his response. But he chose not to when he thought it was someone he could dominate.

He's a prick.

I would not intimidate someone if they bashed my car and no damage done even if I was a "new car owner" because I'm not a prick.

etap · 03/01/2018 16:15

He sounds like a total shit, hope karma bites him on the arse soon.

BattleCuntGalactica · 03/01/2018 16:16

He was being a weapons grade shitcannon.

Original poster
IHATEPeppaPig · 03/01/2018 16:19

@Firesuit I get what you mean but as pp said, in the space of 5 seconds he could control his emotional response as soon as he saw my DP so it leads me to think he was just a complete arsehole.

OP posts:
Aspiringcatlady · 03/01/2018 16:20

This happened to me a few months ago, I was driving home with a male friend and someone swerved into my lane and hit my car. We pulled over and we both got out to inspect the damage, he was driving a massive truck and me a tiny car, he had no damage to his car and I have a small dent to mine. He the proceeded to tell me I had driven into his lane Hmm and hit his car. I said that wasnt the case at all he had driven into me, he began to shout at me etc and then male friend got out of car to intervene and suddenly the guy decided that there was no point in arguing and he had no damage to his car anyway and left Hmm

Slarti · 03/01/2018 18:55

nothing like this has ever happened happened to me, I wonder if it's because I'm a guy, and people only act like this when they have zero fear.

Maybe, and sometimes maybe it's something else. When I was at uni (30 year old mature student) the wind took my car door out of my hand on the car park and hit the car next to me. The young female student got out and verbally ripped my head off.

ATeardropExplodes · 03/01/2018 18:59

they'll be pretty annoyed until they've had lots of time to process no damage has been caused.

Pretty annoyed until they realise the female has a man with them that could well lamp them one you mean. Seriously why bother responding with total bullshit like the above? Even if they were annoyed there is no excuse for yelling at someone, it is a car nobody got hurt.

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