I will try and keep it short:
We've spent the last NYE with a couple we know, who have a ds about the same age as our elder ds. My DH and the other H ("Bobo") are actually friends, but we do get together a few times a year and the wife ("Jane") and I get on well.
Last year, we hosted NYE (baby ds2), and a little while before they were supposed to show up we get a call that Jane is unwell with a cold and won't be coming, Bob and son turn up, all going well, when Jane starts calling Bob every half hour or so. Numerous hushed conversations take place. Bob stops answering his phone so Jane phones her ds who asks loudly in front of us all "So mum wants to know are we going to go home before midnight?".
So they do, they leave our house just after 11pm to be at home with Jane at 12.
Fast forward to this year.
Again at our house (todder ds2!), other friends coming too, not just this couple (Bob's mum is coming this year too). 15 minutes before they should arrive Bob calls to say that their ds has just got in and is feeling unwell so he's going to have a lie down and they will be late.
An hour later Bob and his mum show up, as Jane is staying at home with their son who is feeling a bit dizzy and unwell.
Again a number of calls over the evening, including one to our landline, but it's their ds calling, not Jane, and he immediately wants to speak to his father (doesn't respond to me asking how he's feeling now).
We hear no more from them, Bob and his mum spend new year's eve with us, all is fine and lovely. No message from Jane to wish us Happy New Year at 12, no text or whatsapp or anything.
Haven't heard anything from them since. I want to spend NYE with people who want to spend it with us too. If you're not interested, then just say no instead of pissing us about.