to tell this woman about a kiss

[thebumblebearbee]

2 years ago I worked with a couple. One day the male half of the couple approached me in a secluded area of our work and kissed me. I was confused as I wasn't aware that he found me attractive or wanted to kiss me, let alone that he thought he could just walk up to me and kiss me. To my re-collation I had never flirted with him or made myself available to him.

I did not push him off, but I don't remember kissing him back either. It was all very surprising and I was thrown off guard. He then stopped kissing me and asked me to come into a store room with him (classy). I declined and left the area. The next week the business closed unexpectedly and we never saw each other again so there were never any repercussions from the incident.

I have recently found out the couple have got engaged and I am in two minds whether to tell the girlfriend what happened. One part of me thinks if it were me and I were about to make a huge commitment, planned to spend my life with someone, I'd want to know if they had been disloyal to me during our relationship. Another part thinks, it was two years ago, it was probably a silly mistake on his part that he regrets and is glad never went anywhere. Another part thinks I would just look spiteful and trying to cause trouble for a happy couple which I am 100% not.

I know I will get hate for being the 'OW' but would I be unreasonable to tell her or should I just let them get on with things?

No don't tell. He sounds a total charmer and is likely to do it again, and again, and again so he'll trip himself up sooner or later.
Two years is too long to have left it to open it up for scrutiny now.
You're not responsible for his behaviour and you're equally not responsible for his fiancés happiness.
Forget about it.

No dont tell her now. You would be doing it purely to make yourself feel better. Totally different if you had said at the time but you didn't so keep this to yourself and move on.

What's the point in telling her? She lives with him, she'll know what he's like!

You want to tell someone about just a kiss that happened 2 years ago? why?

As for you being the OW in what world would anyone say you was? It was a stupid kiss 2 years a sodding go you are not the scarlet lady.

Stop thinking about something tiny that happened 2 years ago, I’m sure you have other things in life to think of

I did not push him off, but I don't remember kissing him back either.

So perhaps you didn’t, perhaps you did? Why wouldn’t you remember, do you suffer from amnesia?

Stay out of it imo unless you want a world of shit landed at your doorstep. If it were close friends it might be different

Hhmmm looks like I'm a definite minority, I would want to know. I better just keep my mouth shut, seems like the easier answer for everyone but it just feels wrong. I guess I should have said something at the time now I'll put up and shut up. Thanks all.

Personally, i'd want to know. Infidelity of any sort is a big line in the sand for DH and I though.

Im always amazed by what people are willing to forgive their partners for though.

If it were me, I wouldn't tell her.

I had a friend who literally had print outs of conversations she'd had with a guy who had a girlfriend. They referenced some meeting up i think; and, well, didn't centre around world affairs, knitting or needlework... For some reason she decided to show the girlfriend . Don't ask me why; she knew her but they weren't friends, and obviously these conversations were 2 sided...

Anyway; somehow he managed to deny it and she believed him. I don't know how..: maybe he told her she'd written them herself/was obsessed?! I really don't know how he got away with it (or maybe she was in denial?). I don't know, but basically at the time she was just seen as a liar (Well that's what she was told anyway) and trying to cause trouble. So yeah, it didn't go well...

My point being, even with 'evidence' she wasn't believed. How would you feel if this happened? X.