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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To think I can’t have it all

31 replies

Cherrybakewrong · 02/01/2018 18:05

I’ve been studying for the past 2 years (Education Ba) but I’ve started to hear a lot about teachers starting at 5am and leaving at 8pm. This is so worrying because I’m a parent without a support network around me and all my local childcare only provide services from 8am-6pm, if i was fortune enough to find a job very locally; I’d only be able to work from 8.15am- 5.45pm(factoring in commuting). I wondered if this is possible? Can teachers work between these hours and take any unfinished work home? I have volunteered at local primary schools but not since starting my degree due to time constraints, but I don’t remember any teachers that were working 12hr+ a day (at least not at the actual school, I understand there will be marking and paperwork to take home).

I’m starting to think that it’s impossible to have it all, I mean just the degree alone has been so hard with childcare and no support.

So as not to drip feed- I live with my partner and 3 children, partner works long hours and helps when he can but due to him earning a lot more than i ever will he cant take time off for childcare.

OP posts:
Furgggggg12 · 02/01/2018 18:09

No support Confused You have a partner.

If he earns that much surely he's in a position where he can eg wfh occasionally?

Celticlassie · 02/01/2018 18:11

I'm in Scotland and accept that things are different down South but there is no way I'd be working from 5am to 8pm. I generally work 8-5 and that does me. Maybe an hour or so at the weekend at really busy times.

You'll probably have to do more when starting out but you can only do what you can do.

Enidthecat · 02/01/2018 18:13

Ah yes becausr earning a lot automatically means you get to work from home furg Hmm

Op I'm not sure in regards to teaching because I'm not a teacher but with regards to childcare sometimes childminders are a bit more flexible.

lemonsandlimes123 · 02/01/2018 18:13

To be fair, it isn't news that teaching is not a family friendly profession. It rather begs the question why this didn't occur to you before embarking on your training.

Furgggggg12 · 02/01/2018 18:13

It generally does. There's also this amazing thing called annual leave.

scaryteacher · 02/01/2018 18:13

Yes, you take the work home with you.

Furgggh Depends on the job the partner does. My dh was in HM Forces and was in Brussels whilst I was in the UK for two years when I was teaching. No, he couldn't have time off or with in that situation, nor could he when he was overseeing several submarines in his previous appointment.

Furgggggg12 · 02/01/2018 18:14

Yes, that's why I included the "eg."

Enidthecat · 02/01/2018 18:15

Don't know where you work furg but it certainly doesn't in my industry. Most people het 20 days annual leave Id say 30 tops. How is that going to help if op needs to work past 6 every day?

Wishingandwaiting · 02/01/2018 18:16

Baffled you have been studying for 2 years AND have 3 childrrnand yoi atr only just heatrinh about this now?!

Added to which, surely you’re positively surrpundef by people who will be able to really answer your question very thoroughly?

Pengggwn · 02/01/2018 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bobbybobbins · 02/01/2018 18:18

I'm a teacher and need to be at school at 8am but our lessons start at 8.30 so I assume if lessons started later then you could arrive at work later? Childcare has worked for us so far as both my children are at nursery but once my eldest starts school in September I will be dropping to 2 days a week to facilitate dropping him at school as much as possible.

whensitmyturn · 02/01/2018 18:18

But does your partner work long days Monday to Friday or does he work weekends which would free up days in the week so you could work longer?
Or could he start later/ Work later so you could start early or could he start earlier and do the childcare pick up,
It seems awfully inflexible on his behalf not to be able to help with childcare at all unless he works away?

hidinginthenightgarden · 02/01/2018 18:18

The school building won't be open at 5am. 8-6pm is what many teachers work but it is the sort of work you can take home a lot of the time.

BetterWithCake · 02/01/2018 18:20

How old are your DC? Will your DC go to the school you might teach at? Are there childcare or after school clubs at the school? Many many teachers have DCs and work so it is possible although it might not be easy.

icelollycraving · 02/01/2018 18:20

How strange to only consider this now. Anyway, the teachers at my son’s primary seem to be in early but leave not too far behind the kids. I assume they have marking etc to do at home. Perhaps different ages would have different requirements. How would you do teacher/parent evenings etc aside from a normal day?
I would ask the people around you. They would be the ones to tell you the true expectations surely?

Original poster
Cherrybakewrong · 02/01/2018 18:24

Sorry Furgggggg12 i meant as in an extended support network such as grandparents, siblings etc. Of course he helps with childcare outside of work but he wouldn’t be able to pick up/drop off from nursery/school clubs etc - as he works early and finishes late.

I can stay at home and be a housewife (which there’s nothing wrong with IMO) but I want to work and bring in an extra income. It just feels like the world of employment can make it very difficult for parents.

OP posts:
RavingRoo · 02/01/2018 18:24

Depends if you have a class or not.

Original poster
Cherrybakewrong · 02/01/2018 18:30

icelollycraving I didn’t just think of this now, I had previously volunteered in schools albeit quite a few years ago. Although, I’d never heard of teachers starting at 5am and finishing at 8pm until a couple years ago in which case it was a bit late as I was already on my course and very much enjoying it. If it is happening it’s probably more common nowadays due to budget cuts, staff shortages etc

OP posts:
Tinkerbec · 02/01/2018 18:33

gggwn

Most teachers I know who are past the first couple of years leave school by 4.30pm and arrive by about 8.15. The problem is when they have additional things to do: parent consultations, department meetings, assessments etc. Some work can be taken home but not everything.

The first couple of years can be very stressful, though.

Exactly!! There are times when you could be out if the door at 3.25 and times when you are there until 8pm.

I would say on average I leave at 4.30 everyday and maybe do an hour at home.

Original poster
Cherrybakewrong · 02/01/2018 18:37

Thank you Tinkerbec, my partner could take leave around parents evenings and get time off for the odd meeting but it it was an everyday thing we definitely couldn’t manage.

OP posts:
BoysRule · 02/01/2018 18:42

I'm a primary school teacher and DH works long hours so he can't really help with childcare.

I am in school from 8am (any later and you struggle to get set up for the day) until about 5.30. You can do work from home but lots of it has to be done in school (e.g making resources, assessments where the software is only on the school system). I also work around 5 hours on my days off (I work 3 days a week).

The holidays do make up for it but it is hard work. You always feel like you should be doing more and you have to learn when to stop.

I think the hours you can be in school sound fine. Be prepared to take work home and the longer you do it the quicker you get. It also varies enormously on the school you work in.

Tinkerbec · 02/01/2018 18:43

The worst term is Sept-Dec

From Jan to Aug there is nearly a holiday every month and the terms are often shorter.

Tinkerbec · 02/01/2018 18:45

Teaching is like a gas it can expand to take over your life or you can contain it.

If you allow it it can take over.

Sorry Science teacher analogy.

icelollycraving · 02/01/2018 18:52

Sorry, my message sounded very snippey.

DumbledoresApprentice · 02/01/2018 18:52

8.15-5.45 with some work done at home is perfectly doable IMO. I spend roughly that amount of time in school and don’t do much at home in term time. I’m a secondary HOD and the school’s NQT coordinator.