Advice on niece

[lilyleelee]

This Christmas my brother, sister-in-law, niece, mum and dad came to ours for Boxing Day. The plan was to all go for a walk, then I would cook lunch, then we'd play games, etc. When my brother and sister-in-law arrived, my sister-in-law said that the niece was tired, and would I mind if she stayed at home to rest rather than coming out for a walk. I figured that if they were happy with her being home alone (she's 11), I was too.
At the end of the day, after they had left, I found my niece's slippers next to my bed and the duvet ruffled. This means she had most likely gone into my and my husband's bedroom for a nap. The books on my bedside table were also rearranged and the drawer to my husband's bedside table was ajar (we don't have kinds at home so we don't necessarily hide away condoms etc.).
She hadn't done any damage, but I was a bit annoyed because a) she had gone into a private space (the door was shut) and looked through our stuff b) she hadn't asked - if I'd known, I'd have told her to go into the guest room.
Should I just let it be, or should I mention it to my brother and sister-in-law, or to my niece herself?

If this isn't the first time that she has snooped through your things, I would say something to your brother.

It's in no way your fault if your niece saw adult things in your bedroom that she shouldn't have been in.

I think she's probably being nosey but this has overstepped your privacy.

I wouldn't say anything this time. But if it happens again, be very clear that she is to snooze on the sofa or the guest bedroom.

What happened the first time?

I would say gently but firmly that your bedroom in general is out of bounds. I wouldn’t want anyone rootling around in our bedroom drawers, or indeed our bedroom. It’s our room, and as such it’s private.

You could mention to your brother that as DN was resting in your room highly likely that she saw this and this (whatever you comfortable to mention) and could ask questions.
Also she might thought it's ok, depends on rules in their/GPs houses. She wanted to sleep and went to bedroom, could be as simple as that, probably she wanted to be at the big bed (more comfortable) she didn't hide it as she left her slippers there.

It is a hard conversation but actually it's protecting her. You don't have to say what's in your husbands drawer I'm desperate to know but in other people's houses she could find really disturbing stuff.

That's really cheeky. If the situation arises again I would actually ask her not to go into your bedroom and offer the spare room if she wants a nap. If she or her parents query this, then you can point out that she used your bedroom last time and you are not comfortable with it. Her parents might be OK with it - but you aren't her parent and she has to learn about boundaries in other people's houses.

I wouldn’t say anything. But if she asks to stay behind in future I’d be straightforward and say ‘sorry, I’m not comfortable with that because last time you went in our bedside drawers'.

I'd definitely say something to your DB, just because at 11 she shouldn't be seeing lube or sex toys and might have questions. Point out that you're just concerned for her and that you thought your DB would want to know she'd seen things unsuitable for a child's eyes. Also state that perhaps a quick word about privacy in other people's homes might not go amiss.

If this isn't the first time that she has snooped through your things, I would say something to your brother.

It's in no way your fault if your niece saw adult things in your bedroom that she shouldn't have been in.

I think she's probably being nosey but this has overstepped your privacy.

I think I agree with most of you when you say it'd be good idea to have a word with my bro. He's pretty laid-back, hopefully him and the SIL will take it OK.

What are you going to say? Please update with how the discussion goes.

Glittery YES!

Cheeky little madam!