Second baby

[gracey1]

Hoping for some advice please

We've had our first child in October, birth was horrendous more so for my hubby me.

The problem is since I came home I've been longing for another, almost desperation to be pregnant again as I always wanted a small age gap.

My dp is 47 and I'm 36 he very self conscious of his age (lots of was pregnancy planned from people at work, you should consider-snip comments) and the day after we came home a different Midwife came to the door and asked dp if he was baby's grandfather which not only spoilt the experience for him has shattered his confidence (she also told me I was bf incorrectly and although it had worked fine affected my confidence and ds ended up on bottle as I couldn't then feed him.

The thing is he is a wonderful father and when I told him how I felt about another he said he felt he was too old and our ds would already be likely attending his funeral in his early 20s so wasn't fair.

He has never said no and said it's my decision if it's what I want then we can have another but I know in his heart he doesn't want to and I don't want to do anything to spoil us or our little family.

The problem is I can get out of my head about having another and wanted to be pregnant by now... will this pass? I appreciate I should be grateful for what I have but I catch myself crying about it more and more (dp doesn't know this)

Why would DS be attending his funeral in 20 years he may live another 40

Wait so your current baby is how old ? Do you mean October just gone ?

Was dh aware you wanted more than one? What were his thoughts on this before you had your son?

It's your hormones. Nearly everyone wants another after birth. I'd wait a few months for the effects of sleep deprivation/returning to work/childcare costs kick in and then re-evaluate.

Üho the fuck asks a pregnant üomen if their pregnancy üas planned. I've never heard such rudeness and intrusion. Ühere are these people coming from.
There are plenty of older fathers out there as pp says he could have another 40 years left, maybe even 50.

That's probably another point around sleep my son is a very good sleeper, not a cry baby so we have been spoilt. DP knew I wanted more than one when we married but it's been 7 years since we initially spoke about it and he thought as years had passed I'd changed my mind. What I mean is when we started trying I never mentioned it again.