AIBU to ask about binge eating

[Scoogle]

I appreciate this isn't the right place for this , but I am an AIBU er and have been for a while ( I should say with different registrations) and this is where I like to post.

I am so bloody sick of my inability to stop eating or exercise discipline with food. I appreciate Christmas for most people is a time to indulge, but for me I decided indulging meant early Nov onwards. I have eaten and eaten and eaten until I feel sick with no restraint whilst hating myself for being unable to stop. I intend to start a diet tomorrow, but am I being unreasonable to think I need to address my over eating. I'm stuck in this overeating/strict dieting regime and I hate myself for it.

My wedding rings don't fit. My clothes don't fit and I can't bear DH to see me naked. I can start a diet tomorrow and will stick to it, but I always come crashing down. I feel so low and awful I just can't face it and the worst thing is, all i need to do is stop stuffing food in my face.

I'm sorry for this rant, but seriously is this normal to eat until I feel ill and then stuff my face again. Has anyone dealt with this. I'm on my arse here and so annoyed and teary.

Try having a look at Beyond Chocolate (google it). It’s a concept about re-programming your relationship with food etc, rather than yo-yo dieting. Makes a lot of sense to me.

You won't lose weight or stop binging until you address your concerns with regards to the root cause of your binging. Our local GPs have a link to a therapy centre and they offer courses that help you with it .So it my be worth checking out if your practice does the same

I can relate to that,I had bulimia for years,and after I managed to stop being sick I was still bingeing...it's an emotional hole you are trying to fill with food..plus it's a way of self harming,because you get bigger and you hate yourself more for getting fatter it's a vicious cycle

if you have time switch to daily shopping. if I buy a days worth of food I'm ok. if I buy a week's worth I eat it in a day or two 😂

Thank you. I just feel utterly rank . I need to address it.

There are two books which have drastically changed my life. The first is the amazing Brain Over Binge. The second is The Thin Woman's brain.

Absolutely amazing books which have stopped me binging.

I do the same and it's more common than you think. For me, I start a diet and then it becomes a regime that I just cannot stick to. The trouble is that I go in too strict and ban everything, until temptation (inevitably) takes over and I'm back to square one.

Allow yourself treats and follow a plan, rather than going it alone. Allow the mistakes to happen, a mistake doesn't mean you have to start again.

If you feel your binge eating is out of control then I'd speak to the GP:

Op

Are you aware that binge eating is a recognised eating disorder in the same way that bulimia and anorexia are eating disorders

There are some long running binge eating threads in either the eating disorder section of mumsnet or the weight loss section, will try have a search and find them.

There are various ways in which it can be treated, often there is the view that the emotional triggers have to be dealt with first with counselling and antidepressants
In america there are several licensed drugs to treat it wtih good effect but not yet licensed in UK.

However recently there has been a move to a different type of thinking based on the fact that restriction has caused the problem in the first place and that it is partly a severe habit, almost like an OCD and that it doesnt matter how much counselling you get, it will not solve it and you you have to instead eat a balanced diet, regularly and often to reprogramme your body so that it knows its not going to starve and to also get good nutrition on board as you can be extremely overweight consuming thousands of calories but in fact be malnourished as the calories you are consuming are not healthy.

Have a look at some of these (do not be put off by the use of the word bulimia, binge eating is essentially bulimia without the purging of the food) Several of them do online coaching as well as have books. Many people have followed their methods and have made complete recovery from their binge eating without having to get lots of counselling or solve root causes etc

brainoverbinge.com/
www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/
heal-ed.com/
danielwheeler.lpages.co/the-80-20-lifestyle-plan-group-7-online-through-fb-only/#course-preview (life.changingfitness)

They are all on youtube as well if you want to hear what they have to say

GinandTonic. Beyond Chocolate looks interesting. Can you recommend the course? Any personal insight?

One day at a time is how I stoped my bulimia,I said to myself,I've only got to get through today,that's all I've got to do...a day became a week,became a month became a year...I still binged ,but at least I wasn't being sick....then I did the same again..said to myself ...right I just need to get through today not bingeing,I just need to eat normally for today...and a day became a week ect etc ect...now I'm eating normally and slowly cutting down the calories...Rome wasn't built in a day...

Thank you straycatblue. your words are so helpful. I have wondered if it is some eating disorder before but it seems so ridiculous. I realised today there was a huge problem as I've eaten all day non stop, even to the point of breathlessness because I know I'll be dieting tomorrow.

It's bloody ridiculous. I'm not huge -currently around a size 16 but I cannot get in my clothes and I feel unhealthy. There's a strong history of heart disease strokes and diabetes in the family. I don't want to increase my chances of these just because I am unable to exert self control. I'm just so fucked off with myself which I understand is part of the problem.

I have a good job a loving husband, who would never judge my size and a happy family, I just feel like I have some dirty secret. It's so silly.

Personally Beyond Chocolate and other things like it made me worse - it felt like the binging stepped up from there. I never seem to feel satiated with things like sugar and I do better when I cut them out all together. I had success with Overeaters Anon for my 'alcoholic' foods. However, I have not been able to stick with that either, so don't have any real advice other than I think different things work for different people and proceed with caution.

I am currently avoiding sugar and working on lots of self care to avoid eating my feelings, and doing a half hearted OA programme (not a great advert but they do save many people).

I suffered with bulimia for over twenty years (my god when I put that in writing it’s bloody awful!) and though I am not completely cured now I have got a really good grasp on it.
The two things that made the biggest difference for me was 1) I went vegan for ethical reasons, I didn’t become vegan to help with my bulimia but it’s honestly changed the way I am with food so much. A lot of the food that I would binge on I can’t eat anymore and i don’t feel deprived at all because I actually don’t want to eat them any more. I also can’t eat other people’s meals, i used to eat everyone’s leftovers and I can’t do that anymore. I don’t feel deprived any more either, I think I would sometimes binge because I was worried that I would miss out, like I had to eat it all now because I can’t have treats all the time so I had to make the most of it, then I’d pass a point where I knew I was going to purge so I was like ‘fuck it may as well make the most of it’.
2) I started doing regular exercise, again this isn’t part of my bulimia I didn’t start it to lose weight more just to get healthier but when I started running I felt so good about myself that the binging stopped. I didn’t feel guilty about eating anymore and i started seeing my body in a totally different way, it was something that could run, and get stronger and do more than I ever thought possible. I am so so careful not to track how much I run or count calories otherwise I know it could be another kind of purge but I think I’ve got to a place where it’s not like that at all. The exercise isn’t part of a see saw with food, I don’t earn food with exercise, it’s just something that I do that I love.

Also it’s not silly, it’s really common and it’s ok to ask for help.

Thank you straycatblue. your words are so helpful. I have wondered if it is some eating disorder before but it seems so ridiculous. I realised today there was a huge problem as I've eaten all day non stop, even to the point of breathlessness because I know I'll be dieting tomorrow.

It is absolutely not ridiculous, it is a recognised disorder but many people are ignorant about www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/types/binge-eating-disorder

However, as with many things, gps are often behind in terms of knowledge about it and many have no idea how to treat it or just try and give you an antidepressant which in their defence is a recognised treatment however it is not thought to be very successful.

Friends and family are also likely to be ignorant about it and think that all you need to do is stop eating but in the same way that telling an anorexic just to eat food doesnt work for them, telling a binge eater to just stop eating also doesnt work.

Please if you have time take some time to listen to this talk by Richard one of the founders of Heal-Ed (previously called bulimiahelpmethod) with introduction from Kathryn Hansen who wrote Brain over Binge. I cannot recommend the Heal-ed method (bulimia help method but as mentioned earlier its for binge eating disorder as well) highly enough. They have some books as well as do one to one coaching via skype. heal-ed.com/about-us/

Hi, I've just been diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder. For years I've lost significant amounts of weight, 4 to 5 st plus, a few times and everytime something goes wrong in my life I binge. Finally getting the courage to talk about it to my DR was such a relief.

I've had counselling on and off too for a few years (lots of serious family issues) and worked hard to make my counsellor understand that my eating is not 'Comfort Eating' but my own version of self harm.

Right now I'm under the supervision of our local psychiatric team and am on meds. I'll go to the specialist unit later this month. Had a brief spell back at SW, got hit by another family member's health crisis and gave that up again. It's probably not a good idea to do any sort of weight loss attempt at the moment, but I'll wait for advice from the specialists.

I've given up with books. My approach always was to gain a healthy relationship with food rather than just to lose weight. Some books did help for a while but my habits are too entrenched.

Good luck. Don't get caught up in the binging and fasting cycle, go for help. Make your GP understand it's more than just over eating.

The book 'Overcoming Binge Eating' was revelatory for me. The science really made sense and the plan was sensible, and effective. NHS approved. Easy to do alone.

I have also had a lot of private therapy. Not necessarily about my ED, but about everything in my life. The therapy has been life-changing. I have accepted that I am prone to binge eating as a form of self-soothing and anxiety release, but it's something I do less and less. I was obese, now am slim. I still want to binge sometimes. But I usually don't, and I have other coping mechanisms for my feelings.

I would highly recommend seeking out a therapist and starting to talk. Good luck.

Thank you all for your kind words and advice. I need to look into this and all the links. I just want to feel better.