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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not invited and then sent pics?

25 replies

Padstowonthames · 01/01/2018 17:50

I am a new poster but have often read the AIBU. I am in a whatsapp group with some friends. There is quite a lot of history with three of the women being v cliquey to the point of saying 'we're a three' at times, despite us all being in our late 40s! So...I saw them at xmas, sometimes we meet up at new year but nothing was said this year. Today they have been posting pics to the wattsapp group of them away enjoying a break together for new year. We look to be the only people in the whatsapp group who aren't there! We were not invited and wierdly nothing was said. What I don't understand is why post pictures of them all together? There are loads of these messages popping up! Unintentional or passive aggressive bitchy? AIBU to be hurt?

OP posts:
TheDowagerCuntess · 01/01/2018 17:53

It's neither, its incredibly immature and needy.

Which leads to the question - why would you want to remain friends with these people? What do they add to your life?

Can you quietly exit the whatsapp group, and end contact with them?

Thanks
Ginfiend · 01/01/2018 17:54

“Ooh looks nice where was our invite?! “ might get you an answer. They don’t sound like great friends to be honest. Very cliquey. Almost like teens!

CaptainBirdeyeDoesntGiveAShit · 01/01/2018 17:54

Group of 4, 3 went away and are messaging? Just leave the group and let them get on with it.

user1471517900 · 01/01/2018 17:54

I'm unsure how many are in the group in total here?

danTDM · 01/01/2018 17:59

Happened to me OP, with the exact same scenario, I left the wassap group at 9am the next day.

DO not regret it... idiots.

I honestly see the power has shifted now I don't give a shit, they feel stupid.

Thirdshepherdfromtheleft · 01/01/2018 18:05

Oh op this kind of scenario has happened to me too this year. It doesn't get easier with age does it!!
Only advice is that if friends make you miserable more than they make you happy then cut and run.
Easier said than done, sending WineThanks

MiniCooperLover · 01/01/2018 18:15

OP, do you feel strong enough to ask why they are sending around pictures when you weren’t invited (because there may be repercussions)?

TheDowagerCuntess · 01/01/2018 18:32

Don't lower yourself to ask. They did it, that's all you need to know. And they won't give an answer that will make you feel any better.

danTDM is completely right about the power shifting once you no longer care.

DownTheChimney · 01/01/2018 18:36

Jeez, I couldn't be putting up with this, its like being back at school. Ditch the bitches and forget about them.

ShinyBadger · 01/01/2018 18:39

Just leave the group.... make new friends. You don’t need them!!

ladystarkers · 01/01/2018 18:40

Out with the old...

Loveache · 01/01/2018 18:44

Agree with pp. I had an adult friend who did pointed exclusion to me with our mutual friends. (They didn't know I hadn't been invited to stuff she'd organised). It was hurtful, yes, but more pathetic to be doing teenage shit like that at her age. I deleted and didn't look back. It feels good to take your power back.

wednesdayswench · 01/01/2018 18:48

Is it two couples excluded or just you and DH?

I'd 'leave' the WhatsApp group and move on from these people. They clearly don't care about your feelings.

astoundedgoat · 01/01/2018 18:51

Leave the group. I would also be inclined to check in with the other non-invitees (off the group) - there might be a new group brewing to leave the three "lovebirds" to it!

AlonsosLeftPinky · 01/01/2018 18:54

I don't think there's anything really wrong with not inviting everyone. But there's no need to post all the photos.

BougieQueen · 01/01/2018 18:56

Just leave the group...life is too short!

Timefortea99 · 01/01/2018 18:58

This is a great time of year to ditch things that are bad for you. Ditch them.

Misspilly88 · 01/01/2018 19:09

I bet they also have a group for just the 3 of them and they think they're posting it in that one. Agree with pp, write 'where was my invite?!'

gingerclementine · 01/01/2018 19:17

I'd either say nothing, or say something like, 'We had a brilliant NYE at X's party. Glad you all had fun too,' to help them realise that the world doesn't stop for others if they are not gracing it with their social sparkle.

SockUnicorn · 01/01/2018 19:19

@Padstowonthames Are you sure they know you are in the group? Not that this excuses it but I cannot imagine being so mean/stupid to post photos when someone we excluded was sat there. All I can presume is they don't realize you are there? Unless you previous spoke. I would write something pleasant about their holiday just to make them feel uncomfortable. Could it also be a situation where one planned it and didnt tell the others you werent invited, just said you couldnt come? So may not be all 3s fault.

rainbowduck · 01/01/2018 19:21

Sockunicorn
If everyone except OP was there, then there has clearly been another group discussion, of which OP is not part of.

Aeroflotgirl · 01/01/2018 19:21

I would leave the group, they don't sound like good friends.

WipsGlitter · 01/01/2018 19:32

How many people are in the WhatsApp group?

A Mum from school posted photos from her kids party on our class WhatsApp group despite lots of the kids not being invited. I thought that was weird!

BouleBaker · 01/01/2018 21:23

Wipsglitter A Mum at school made a group shot of her kids party, to which everyone in the class except 2 were invited, the Facebook group ID photo. Now that was very weird.

WipsGlitter · 02/01/2018 12:39

Blimey Boule!! That's terrible.

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