About my partner going out this evening without me?

[Alisvolatpropiis]

It’s not actually so much about him going out without me as it is about him absolutely insisting he was happy to not go out and then change his mind on the actual evening.

I can’t go out because I have my child this evening and having worked a lot of hours over Christmas, I don’t feel I’ve seen enough of her.

The plan was to go to the pub for a couple of drinks and then go home and have food. However the weather here is absolutely disgusting so taking my child out in it, even just the short walk it is to the pub, is out of the question.

So partner has gone out. Insists he’ll be back at 10.30pm. I think this is really quite unlikely.

I find it so frustrating that he has said he’s fine doing x but actually wanted to do y and has now said he’ll do z but I’d bet a months salary on this not being the case.

I’m not ranting raving mad about it. I just feel a bit...hurt?

Mine has done the same. He spent all day saying how torn he was about going to a party I was not invited to, or staying in with me and our noise sensitive animals.

He's gone, taken lots of my home made gin with him too. Whilst I'm a bit hurt I'm going to watch a cheesy film, drink some bubbles and blast some music to block out the fireworks.

If we had actually made plans I would be really hurt, as I'm sure there's no way your guy will be back before 10.30, being NYE.

Get yourself a nice glass of something and enjoy the evening. You can always hoover/ be very loud in the morning if he comes home really late ha!

Is she not his child too? Even so I just don't understand people who want to go out on nye and leave their partners at home alone. Totally selfish behaviour.

Is he DD's dad?

Sounds like he was happy to get food at the pub, but didn't fancy sitting at home? Is that right?

No, she isn’t his child crisp.

She’s currently snuggled up to me whilst we watch Toy Story.

I’m absolutely fine with staying in with her rather than going out, particularly given how little I’ve seen her over the Christmas period because I work in retail. It’s just the way he’s gone about it that has annoyed me.

I’m not going to let it ruin my time with her or have an argument with him over it. It just seems a bit poor on his behalf. I hate it when people say one thing but actually mean another. I’m a very direct communicator, not a rude “tell it like it is” sort, but I don’t say something I don’t mean and pray the person on the receiving end is telepathic.

sticky

Yes that’s the crux of it. I do get where he’s coming from and was really keen on that plan too. However the weather dictated otherwise. The pub we were going to go to is perhaps a 5 minute walk from where I live, more a family restaurant with a bar than an actual pub. So too close to justify getting a taxi but too far to justify taking my little girl out in heavy rain and howling wind in her pushchair

Did he come back? X

He did and I rather wish he hadn’t. But I suppose he kept to his word, so that’s something

Why do you wish he hadn't? Was he in a bad mood or totally pissed or both?

I think YABU. You chose to stay in, why should he give up a night out? Sounds like he wanted to go out all along but was trying to spare your feelings.

Both 52.

I get that zoop, but as I’ve said it’s the “sparing feelings” rather than the going out that bothered me. Because he’s done it before (different context) and I find the indirect communication frustrating.

Anyway, it’s all done with now. Happy New Year all