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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking baby out and about... opinion please?

58 replies

kateskates · 31/12/2017 16:25

I have a three month old DS, we live in the Midlands, as do my parents, my DPs family live 2 hours away.
Since DS was born we have been to Visit DPs family twice, with one day or in London including in that as they live close by. We have also been to York for a weekend. We have a trip to Edinburgh booked for next weekend to celebrate our anniversary.
I've just got off the phone to my parents who said it was cruel of us to be taking DS out so often, he should be in the house, it's unfair on him, he gains nothing from these trips so it's all for mine and DPs benefit, we are not thinking of him.

He is the happiest, smiliest, loveliest little boy. He feeds beautifully, sleeps beautifully, is fit and healthy and so loved. AIBU in having weekends away and going out with him?

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 31/12/2017 16:55

Your parents are loopy, possibly resentful that they didn't realize life didn't completely stop when they had you and any siblings. CHange, yes, but stop, no.

Enjoy your life.

MsHopey · 31/12/2017 16:55

I took my 3 month old at the time to a Halloween themed outdoors event. And then when he was 5 months old took him to the zoo and a meet and greet with Santa. He couldn't have given the slightest shit, it was all for us, but he got some fresh air and we have some beautiful memories with him. As long as he's warm and you've remembered everything he needs, go for it.
At least you're taking him with you, and means he'll be used to being out and about as he gets older.

Deathraystare · 31/12/2017 16:57

In certain cultures (I think particularly China?) where they don't think it is safe to go out for a number of months. If your parents are true blue brits then they are just mad!

Billben · 31/12/2017 17:01

Your parents are nuts. Your life doesn’t stop just because you have a child and your DS also shouldn’t be the centre of your family but a part of it so just get on with things as you were.
Could there be a motive behind your parents’ comment? Would they like to have your DS to stay with them whilst you are out gallivanting?

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 31/12/2017 17:06

Ignore them. Staying at home all the time is a shortcut to PND (I appreciate there’s more to it than that). Get out and enjoy yourself. My baby was born in the middle of a heatwave and I didn’t leave the house for ages. I remember someone holding her and I sat out in the garden in tears for ten minutes cos it was the first time I’d stepped outside in days. Miserable.

PerfectPenquins · 31/12/2017 17:06

Do you visit your parents as well? Just wondering if they are jealous perhaps?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 31/12/2017 17:07

Your baby couldn’t care less. Absolutely do this stuff while it’s easy. If you end up with a more fixed routine later on it becomes more difficult. I was a bit disappointed when my baby was ready for a regular 7pm bedtime.

Original poster
kateskates · 31/12/2017 17:08

Thanks all- this makes me feel better. I'm dare not mentions to them that we are booking a holiday to Croatia in May!

We see my parents all the time, they're twenty minutes away and my mum comes over most week days. I don't think they're trying to babysit him as he is EBF and not keen on bottles so that's not a possibility yet.

OP posts:
ConciseandNice · 31/12/2017 17:09

I took my babies everywhere, including abroad. It’s easy when they’re small. Enjoy it while it lasts!

AnnieAnoniMouse · 31/12/2017 17:10

I’m sorry they’ve upset you & made you query your parenting.

You’ve said it yourself ‘He is the happiest, smiliest, loveliest little boy. He feeds beautifully, sleeps beautifully, is fit and healthy and so loved’

What more proof do you need that it’s not harming him in any way?!

What reasons did they give for him ‘needing them be home’?

The only thing I’d make a conscious effort to do (at home or away) is make sure he gets plenty of ‘tummy time’. Being on the go a lot it can be something they miss out on and it’s actually very important. People don’t realise how many ‘hidden’ things ‘tummy time’ does for a babies internal development.

I grew up in the late 70’s, we fitted into our parents/families lives a LOT more than children do now. Of course my parents lives changed and they did a lot for us, but it wasn’t like it is for many kids now where the parents lives revolve entirely around entertaining the children. It, I feel, was a far healthier dynamic.

ENJOY your happy, sociable little DS and your DH & life as a couple/family. You can safely ignore your parents nutty view on this. Truly.

JuniUmiZoomi · 31/12/2017 17:11

Seriously have a bloody good time. What a load of rubbish! Once they are more mobile and have opinions and want to touch EVERYBLOODYTHING it might not be quite so easy! Am v impressed with all your travelling, I'm still too tired to roam far and DD is 3! Wink

RavingRoo · 31/12/2017 17:13

I think it might be a good idea to create some distance. Grandparents need to understand that you are the parents and if you decide to travel with baby, provided all is safe, it’s none of their business. Stop being available for your mum everyday.

CotswoldStrife · 31/12/2017 17:13

Hmm, my first thought on reading this thread was 'I bet her parents live nearby and want first dibs on the baby'. Then you update with the fact that your parents live twenty minutes away.

This is their way of saying they are not seeing enough of the baby IMO. It doesn't sound justified, but that's my take on it. Suggest not taking him to their house and see if that's too many trips out as well, because I suspect not Grin

princesssparkle1 · 31/12/2017 17:18

What? Speechless! Your DParents make no sense!

expatmigrant · 31/12/2017 17:19

As PPs have mentioned already, make the most of it whilst he is still easily pleased and portable. Once they're on solids and mobile, it does become a little more difficult, but even then it never stop us from going out or flying to far flung locations.

Daphne061 · 31/12/2017 17:19

What a load of rubbish. It's a known fact that children benefit from fresh air and new sights, sounds and experiences. Plus, like pp's, I would be making the most of it whilst he's little because once he's walking everything will be so much harder.

Your parents hold a very old fashioned view on parenting. Ignore, laugh about it and carry on as you were!

PersianCatLady · 31/12/2017 17:20

I think your parents are jealous of your life and the future that you are having, tell them to get lost.

PersianCatLady · 31/12/2017 17:21

You seem as if you like to keep your parents happy and I get that totally,

oblada · 31/12/2017 17:25

What a weird thing to say!! Of course you're going out and about for your benefit but why wouldn't you? As long as baby is fed, loved and cared for he doesn't care where he is and you need to make the most of the 'easy' early days!!

DillyDilly · 31/12/2017 17:29

So what if it’s only for your benefit ? You’re not harming your baby in any way by bringing him places, life shouldn’t revolve around children to the detriment of their parents, so why not ?!

Alicetherabbit · 31/12/2017 17:31

Make the most of it whilst you can, at three months all babies want is feed and sleeping so no trip is for them anyhow. We did loads of travelling with dd as a baby, never did her any harm!

Pengggwn · 31/12/2017 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 31/12/2017 17:37

" he gains nothing from these trips so it's all for mine and DPs benefit, we are not thinking of him."

Well as long as he's not negatively impacted then so what?

So you've had a couple of weekends away & a day in London?

Your mum comes over every day?

I think that you need to get out more!

newmum7369 · 31/12/2017 17:48

Nah, they are BU. I take DS1 out all the time in the pram because it's the only time he bloody sleeps

Skowvegas · 31/12/2017 17:50

You have parents who tell you you're cruel?

WTF?

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