To be upset at not receiving a card?

[Suede68]

I know this seems rather silly of me but I'm quite disappointed to have not received a Christmas card from my friend who basically lives five minutes walk away from where I live.

We have always exchanged birthday & Christmas cards. She didn't give me a birthday card in July even though I visited her two days before my birthday. I gave her a card in October.

Then a few days before Xmas I popped a card through her door when passing as she was out. She messaged me to thank me and went on to say she hasn't had time to send me a card as she has been really busy.

I know she had been out a few nights leading up to Christmas as a mutual friend uploads photos to Facebook onstantly when she is out.

I also know my friend has sent some cards because another mutual friend told me she had received a "lovely" card of said friend.

I get the impression that I'm being ghosted. Friend has this year made a new group of friends who she spends lots of time socialising with.

Am I reading too much into this and being sensitive?

I would welcome opinions?x

Yes you are reading too much into this. I hate Christmas cards, writing, sending, receiving, putting them up and the impact on the environment. Christmas cards are for elderly relatives you rarely see.

Why don’t you suggest meeting up for coffee if you are concerned the relationship is dwindling?

Thank you Chaos.

I have mentioned meeting up but she won't commit to a day as something always comes up. She will cancel even if her 12 year old has a cold.

She isn't a single parent by the way.

I think your instincts are probably correct sadly. If you traditionally exchanged birthday and Christmas cards and regularly met up and she no longer does this, then something has changed.

I think you should arrange a coffee, just call over to her or make it easy and suss things out.

I know it hurts OP and she is not being very nice.

If I were her, I'd feel suffocated by your friendship and your studying of her movements. Sorry but that's the honest truth.

It sounds like you might be right but sadly there's nothing you can do.

This happened to me a about 3years ago. It was like being back at school all over again. Time to find some new friends.

No, I think it is quite ok to feel upset.
I had a friend who used to come around nearly every day for years. It was sometimes inconvenient but I let her because she was often over thinking things in life and small worries were like a mountain to her. She often used to discuss them with me and talking through made her feel better. I was fine with this because sometimes I can feel like that. I have seen her about five times in the last year. The last time she looked embarassed because I was out and she walked in. We had a drink and a chat and all seemed well but I have had no card , no visit and we used to exchange presents. Hers is here waiting. I will drop it off today. She missed my special birthday this year too. I feel sad that she appears to not want to be friends anymore but will move on from it in the New Year and suggest you will need to as well. It is upsetting when such friendships end but that's life. Just be pleasant when you do see her but don't have any expectations.
I feel sadder that my sister has posted about families being special but hasn't bother to send a card or contact me. Luckily I have two others that have. I don't do Facebook and it seems that is the only way she communicates now.

Honestly, I think you should chill out a bit about this.

I don’t give/send cards to people I see regularly. I really don’t see the point; I only send them to people a long distance away, or who I haven’t seen for ages.

Christmas cards signify nothing about my feelings towards the recipient.

I think your friend has dropped the ball a bit, but if she is otherwise a good friend...let it go.

Yes you are reading far too much into it. I send Christmas cards to friends who I know don’t send them back. They don’t send cards and I do . Agree you should chill out

Not committing to meeting up would piss me off more and I would stop asking and leave it up to her to suggest something

Thank you all, so sorry to the posters that this has happened to alsoxx

To the poster who said they would feel suffocated by the friendship and monitoring of her movements, I saw her in July and October as mentioned in my post plus the texts from her thanking me.

She is not on Facebook so the photos I saw were on my timeline as we have a mutual friend who uploaded them.

Not sure where else I have monitored her movements.

No, I couldn't see what she was on about either. Don't worry about it.

New Year, new friends.

It's upsetting but I would step back and see what she does.

You have sent Birthday and Christmas cards. It also sounds like you were the last to suggest going out. Ball is in her court. If she can't be bothered to make any effort to maintain the friendship then she's not worth having as a friend.

A friendship is a two way thing. Hold on lightly to friends and be prepared to let them go as necessary.

Thank you Bowerbird & Toomany.x