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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have you ever moved to live in a different country?

43 replies

WellAlwaysHaveParis · 31/12/2017 01:27

Just started a thread to ask whether I should leave Britain to go and work and live in Paris and/or Brussels.

Off the back of this, please could I ask for your stories on moving to a different country and how you got on as well as any challenges you faced/what you enjoyed the most and found rewarding?

OP posts:
Original poster
WellAlwaysHaveParis · 31/12/2017 01:37

Bump :)

OP posts:
blibblibs · 31/12/2017 01:53

We've just returned from living abroad for a year.
We went with the intention of going with the flow, might stay forever, might return in a few years, just no fixed plans.
We were only renting so sold most of what we owned and headed off.
DP had a job and I had the possibility of getting one, although never did bother. It was hard at first and we wondered what the hell we'd done for the first few weeks but settled quickly and made friends quickly too (quicker than we are here anyhow!)
I really enjoyed it as did DP although the job wasn't all it was cracked up to be but the lifestyle and weather were lovely.
However, the downside and ultimately the reason we returned was the education system. It was awful and the DC didn't enjoy that aspect and they would have found it difficult to catch up if we'd stayed too much longer. Hence our return after only a year.
That said I would do it all again. It was a huge learning curve for us all and we learnt a lot about ourselves, another culture and what it feels like to be a minority.
It's something we'd always wanted to do and I'm glad we did. I miss the friends and the nicer aspects of living there but I'm not too sad to be back.

MistressDeeCee · 31/12/2017 02:09

I went to Amsterdam for a week when I was 20, met some great people ended up being offered a job as a travel agent. I came back to UK for 2 weeks then went back to Amsterdam to take up the job. Stayed 4 years. Back to UK, then did Camp America for a few months. I liked America but decided didn't fancy living there. Back to UK for a bit. Then St Lucia where I worked in a hotel for 3 years.

I think when you're young with no mortgage or partner or dependents, it's your time to move around see the world.

Both my son-in-laws to be are Spanish. Only 19 when they came to UK, got Hospitality jobs, worked hard, 1 is at Uni, the other has just finished & is working full-time again for a year before pursuing an MA.

It does seem to me lots of young people from overseas will get up and come here to work, but the other way around, British seem to worry about all that far more for whatever reason.

Youre not going far away. Just look into opportunities make arrangements, and go. You're only young once and if it doesn't work out you can always come back can't you

user1472334322 · 31/12/2017 02:13

I moved to the UK from New Zealand. Came over on the working holiday visa with the intention of travelling lots in the two years, working for a bit and then going home. Did a lot of travelling, got a job I enjoyed and 15 years later I'm still here, with the added bonus of a lovely dp and two amazing ds!

Babyroobs · 31/12/2017 02:19

We moved to New Zealand back in the 90's. Went on a work visa with the intention of doing some travelling. Ended up staying 4.5 years. Eldest 2 children were born there and we came back to have family support. Loved it there though and woukd love to return someday.

AnnaL82 · 31/12/2017 02:29

I did a 3 year PhD in Germany then met DH and moved to the UK for him, 5 years ago. I’m not British but enjoy living here so much more!

My German was fluent enough only when drunk Blush and they didn’t make any effort to communicate in English even if their English was better than mine - although, I admit, they appreciated my own efforts and didn’t mind some painful grammar mistakes.

I just couldn’t cope with the full closures on Sundays, it was too depressing. I’m still so grateful to be able to have a coffee in a Costa on a Sunday morning and see people around!

Brokenbiscuit · 31/12/2017 02:37

Yes, I moved abroad twice, both times from the UK to an Asian country that I'd never visited before. Didn't speak the language or know the culture when I arrived, but set about learning everything that I could. It was difficult at times, no doubt, but I relished the challenge and I think it was actually really good for me to be pushed so far out of my comfort zone.

Spent around 9 years living overseas in total. Have been back for the best part of 15 years but still miss it.

If you have the chance, I say go for it!

citychick · 31/12/2017 02:40

currently in Hong Kong. for the second time

although most people speak English here and HK calls itself Asia's world city it's actually very local and Chinese.

culture shock is very real where ever you move to . we all had it even second time round . then there's reverse culture shock when you go home .

your move may not be forever but if you don't go you'll never know . takes guts to move away from family and friends but it widens your outlook on life no matter what your experience is.

thanks to technology, we can contact home quickly and even watch uk tv .

DH is concerned about moving home with brexit looming but i love the UK so would be happy to leave when we have to .

our life has been enriched because of it . its been frustrating at times but i wouldn't change it at all.

octonaught · 31/12/2017 02:44

I live in France. Moved here 10 years ago.
I am staying put. Work is flexible so I go back to the UK every month, so get all the "good bits". I cannot, however ever imagine living there (England) again.

Brokenbiscuit · 31/12/2017 02:45

Sorry, just to be clear, I moved to two different countries in Asia. The biggest challenges were probably around language, initially, and also around culture.

In the second country, I found it quite difficult to make friends with the local people initially, and I didn't really want to spend all of my time with other expats so that was quite disappointing. However, that did get easier as time went on.

Other stuff was paperwork and official stuff like setting up a bank account, dealing with phone and utility companies etc. All a bit difficult without much of the language. However, I think you said on the other thread that you're pretty fluent in French, so that side of things shouldn't be too problematic.

Movablefeast · 31/12/2017 02:45

I have done it twice. Moved to the USA after meeting my DH when I was at Uni there as part of my British degree course. We have been happilt married for 21 years. In 2009 we moved to Germany for 6 years. Moved back to the USA in 2015. Our American kids are now bilingual/trilingual.

Brokenbiscuit · 31/12/2017 02:48

YY to reverse culture shock! That was tough, especially the first time when I wasn't expecting it.

And yy to the ease of keeping in touch these days. There was no internet when I first went overseas, and I couldn't afford to call the UK more than a couple of times in a year!

Movablefeast · 31/12/2017 02:48

Happily Smile

citychick · 31/12/2017 02:52

op there's the living overseas board
lots of expats there with great advice also.

SuperBeagle · 31/12/2017 02:57

No, and I don't think I ever could with the small exception of New Zealand.

I just got back from a month in the UK and was amazed at how different it is from Australia. I always assumed that Australia had taken and mildly appropriated British culture, but the two places are so different. I was surprised at how much I missed Australia and I have a genuine newfound appreciation for its beauty, cleanliness and the relaxed nature of its people.

New Zealand is familiar to me and I have family there, so I would consider moving there (would love to live in Queenstown!) but that's the only place I'd consider moving to.

VimFuego101 · 31/12/2017 03:09

It would depend on whether you have children or not. If not, then you have a lot less to lose. If you do, then it gets trickier due to missing school/ slotting into different school systems and what happens if you and your partner separate and want to return to your home country.

RestingGrinchFace · 31/12/2017 03:13

I moved from Australia to Britain. No language issues sobthe live was quite easy. I still miss Australia in many ways but in many was I prefer Britain. The hardest thing has been not having family around as much as we would have if we lived in Australia,

HappenedForAReisling · 31/12/2017 03:35

We moved to the Middle East when my youngest was 3 months old. We moved to another country in the ME a year later and lived in 4 different places there. Now happily settled in Canada with no intention of ever living anywhere else.

Wincarnis · 31/12/2017 03:38

Moved from uk to europe 10 years ago.

Pros: surroundings, lifestyle, healthcare, minimum commute, great public transport (even christmas day!)
Cons: bureaucracy, taxes, cost and shortage of housing, bad manners

Kursk · 31/12/2017 03:59

Moved from the UK to the USA. It’s definitely a one way move. We took a leap and it’s the best thing we ever did.

It was only possible because I an duel nationality. We sold everything and moved over, with no jobs lined up no cars just the cash in the bank and we made it work. 4 years later we have a life better than we could ever have in the UK.

OP. Go and don’t look back

JesusChristFenton · 31/12/2017 04:24

I moved from the UK to Australia. I absolutely adore it. I went home last month for a visit and it made me realise how much I do not want to live in the UK again.

I now have the opportunity to move to NZ, which I think I’m going to take.

Outfoxed · 31/12/2017 06:15

I iust moved to a Scandinavian country a month ago so I don’t have much to say yet as Christmas took over from real life! So far I love it, but have the benefit of my partner being from this country and already established here so had none of the issues of finding accommodation, settling in with no language skills etc. However there are lots of things I can’t do here until I have certain paperwork which I can’t get until a certain governmental body sorts their life out, so it’s not an ideal situation, and I’d strongly advice getting any legal stuff sorted before you go rather than just following your heart like I did!
If you don’t speak the language already try to learn as much as you can before hand, if nothing else something like Duolingo gives you a good base of vocabulary and being able to read the language is a good start.

Outfoxed · 31/12/2017 06:21

Also I want to add to that- sometimes it’s worth the uncomfortableness of not having everything sorted (following your heart) if it will make you happy. I’m deliriously happy, no clue what I’m doing, but so glad that I’m doing it here.
Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. Life’s too short to be miserable.

nomad5 · 31/12/2017 06:22

I've lived in 6 different countries in my life, 4 as an adult. Spreading across all different parts of the globe.

It's been a wonderful experience and has made me who I am. And has made me very resilient. But of course there have been very hard parts too.

Go with the attitude that you are happy to learn and grow EVEN IF the job you go for, day to day life isn't immediately as you expect.

Accept that the people you leave behind in your home country will change/move on. But good friendships continue with WhatsApp, video calls, visits.

IME it takes around 2 years to feel really at home in a new country. It takes me about 3 -4 months to feel 75% at home, but that's purely because I am very familiar with moving country. But overall still takes 2 years to feel really settled.

GET OUT and make friends. Local expat Facebook groups, meetups etc. Be more outgoing than you would be at home. Staying in and wanting a quiet life is a path to feeling glum and possibly as far as depression (saw this in my mother).

Good luck!

nomad5 · 31/12/2017 06:26

Moving country will help you learn about yourself.

New Zealand is one of the places I've lived, and although I have a deep love for the country and many friends there..... I find it a really stifling and dull place to live. I always think it's funny because so many people love it (as migrants) but after a month or so back there I start to feel itchy and want to leave.

Moral of the story is that you may find contentment in unexpected countries or cities. The happiest I've ever been (as I am now) are in cold, rainy, overpopulated cities. Grin

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