My ex partner and I split up a year ago, we just didn't love each other anymore and wanted to end things for everyone's sake. I had no issues with him still seeing the kids, he got a flat a few miles away and our older 2 girls stayed there every Saturday, it was a two bedroom flat so they shared a room like they do at mine. DS (18 months now) was only 6 months when we split up and didn't stay with him until he was a year old, but ex partner didn't mind and understood, I was BFeeding and was recovering from severe PND and was very anxious to be away from him overnight, but DS still saw his dad often, ex would stick around and spend a few hours with him after dropping the girls back at mine. When he turned a year old I let him go to his dad's every Sat with his sisters. It was a good setup, no issues whatsoever.
3 months ago, ex's new Polish girlfriend moved in. He'd been with her a few months prior to her moving in, they got together around 6 months after we split. She seems nice, the kids love her etc. The times I've spoken to her she's been really lovely. Things continued working well, no issues, until earlier this month. Her mother back in Warsaw had been involved in a car accident, and had been injured pretty badly. It would be a long road to recovery for her and she had no other family. The girlfriend wanted to go back to Poland to help her mother (she said she'd be going back for at least a year). Ex wanted to go with her. We all sat down together and explained to the kids what was going on, and ex said he would try and visit for the kid's birthdays and Skype often etc. They left. Since they've gone, he's Skyped every other night, and sent Christmas gifts.
Yesterday was DD's birthday, she turned 11. Ex came back for this, without his girlfriend. DD went to the cinema with her friends and we picked them up, dropped the friends of at home and went for a meal at TGI Friday's. At the dinner table, he says to DD's something along the lines of "You two and your brother are coming to stay with us in Poland for a week in January, are you excited?". I was floored, this was the first I'd heard of it, that was for bloody sure. DD1's reaction was what you would expect from a 14 year old, "Does the place you are staying have internet so I can still use Snapchat?". DD2 got very excited. I asked him what in earth he was going on about, and he said "we'll talk later. Don't ruin the meal."
Later at my house, with DS in bed and DD's up in their room, we talk. He tells me he wants all 3 kids to visit him in Poland for a week, going on the 12th of Jan and returning on the 19th. I said no. I don't want to keep the kids away from him usually, but I'm uncomfortable with my DS being away from me for a week, not because his dad wouldn't take good care of him, but because he's only ever been away from me for one night periods and I don't believe he'd cope well with a plane ride without me and such a big change. As for DD's, I told him I wouldn't mind if it was during the school holidays but I don't want them to miss a week of school just after starting a new term. I said, the girls can go during the next half term but DS stays with me. I suggested maybe I go with the girls on the plane (during half term of course, I was not budging on that) and take DS with me. Me and DS would stay one night so he could spend some time with his dad and then I'd take DS home for the rest of the week as I have work (he goes to a nursery while I work which he loves, so childcare is sorted in that aspect).
Ex was not having it at all. He wants all 3 kids with him, for a week, starting 12th of January as his birthday is on the 15th and he wants it to fall in the middle for some reason. I tried to compromise with him, saying maybe the girls could fly out on the 15th and come back the 16th and then we'd do my other plan (we all fly out in Feb and me and DS go back after one night) in February as well. Nope. He will not compromise with me at all. He went back to Poland this morning but has been calling me and begging me to change my mind. I feel like I've been very reasonable considering everything. I never said the kids couldn't go, just that the date he planned wasn't going to work out so I wanted him to move it forward a few weeks, but he's acting like I've cut all contact all together and I don't think that's fair. Now his sister is having a go at me on Facebook and DD (11) has turned on me because she says "dad says you don't want him to be in our lives anymore". Wtf?