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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ashes to glass?

55 replies

rackhampearl · 30/12/2017 20:41

My Sister does 5 years ago and when she was cremated my Dad gave each of her siblings a small pot of her ashes.
I didn’t want them originally, thought it was weird her being split up ect but they found their way too me. I don’t like the thought of her sat in the house, she would have hated that. My initial idea was to take them to New York with me and scatter them as that’s where she wanted to go. But now I’m really interested in getting a ring with her ashes in. DH thinks it’s just a massive rip off since they only use a spoonful of ashes and the prices are extortionate. AIBU to order one of these rings or do you agree with DH? I think I’m still grieving.

OP posts:
Heratnumber7 · 30/12/2017 20:42

I think it's a bit morbid tbh, and a rip off.

kaytee87 · 30/12/2017 20:43

I think it's up to you, not your dh.

Ps you might need permission to take remains to the states and scatter them. Look into it.

Sorry you lost your sister Thanks

Original poster
rackhampearl · 30/12/2017 20:44

Died* even. Yes that’s what DH is saying. £300 for a sterling silver ring, he thinks the whole thing is a farce but I was really taken with the idea.

OP posts:
BrownTurkey · 30/12/2017 20:44

Sorry for your loss. They both sound nice ideas. Can you do both? Or get the ring and when you can afford it go to New York in her memory.

Mamabear14 · 30/12/2017 20:44

I know someone who had a lovely ring made from some of her brothers ashes by ashes to glass. I think it's a wonderful idea and have already informed DH that should I shuffle off earlier than I'd like while my children and still young then to make each of them a piece of jewellery from me. I think it's something to hold close to you, and treasure.

GlitteryFluff · 30/12/2017 20:45

You do what you want to do.
She was your sister. You do what will make things easier for you and what you think she’d might like.

You could do both? Scatter them in NY once you’ve had a ring made?Flowers

DragonsAndCakes · 30/12/2017 20:45

I don’t think £300 for a handmade ring is extortionate. Is that his thinking or yours?

Original poster
rackhampearl · 30/12/2017 20:46

Yes I can definitely do both as I’ve found out they only use a small amount of the ashes. I as all ready to order as I sent off for a pack but now I’ve been a little put off, thinking, is it actually a rip off? Will I feel special about it once I get it?

OP posts:
Original poster
rackhampearl · 30/12/2017 20:47

That’s his thinking. I didn’t even bat an eyelid at the price, was expecting more to be honest. He made this sound with his mouth when I told him the price (even though I’m paying) and it really annoyed me.

OP posts:
Booboobooboo84 · 30/12/2017 20:49

For a handmade ring and a glass firing? At that price your getting a bargain

Mariecat1970 · 30/12/2017 20:53

So sorry you have lost your sister.

I think only you can know if it's right for you.

I lost my mum unexpectedly last year and my sister felt that she needed/wanted the comfort of feeling that Mum was with her wherever she went and ordered a necklace from Ashes into Glass. It has definitely helped her a lot and she wears it every day.

I on the other hand wasn't sure as I feel like my Mum is in my head and heart so don't necessarily need something physical, however I have kept a small portion of Mum's ashes in case I do decide to order one in the future.

Like I said, only you can decide if you'd want it, however if you do choose to order something then Ashes into Glass were absolutely brilliant when we ordered my sister's necklace and I can thoroughly recommend them.

Sorry again for your loss x

Original poster
rackhampearl · 30/12/2017 20:55

You’re all right. Fuck DH. An argument has just broken out with him throwing out the old ‘my dad was a jeweller, you’re blinded by sentiment’ fucking Prick. I’m getting the ring, I’ll get a black stone since she loved them. Wine

OP posts:
Insomnibrat · 30/12/2017 20:57

I like the idea and it's upto YOU how you choose to treat your Sister's ashes, if you can feasibly afford it.

I'm sure there are other companies who also do this, why not shop about a bit?

Or, look into jewellery making with clear epoxy resin. You might be able to make something beautiful handmade, a little fob or something to keep on you.

Insomnibrat · 30/12/2017 20:58

The Range sell a crystal resin set.

Insomnibrat · 30/12/2017 20:59

Also, you can buy pendants on ebay to contain a little ash. Some of them are quite nice (albeit not the same as you specified).

DeadButDelicious · 30/12/2017 21:02

A friend of mine who lost her son has an ashes into glass ring, it is beautiful. A very well made piece of jewellery. You wouldn't know what it was at all to look at it. Not in the slightest bit morbid. I would like something similar done with my daughters ashes. I'm not at the stage where I feel like I can yet though. I am very sorry for your loss OP. Thanks

Jaxinthebox · 30/12/2017 21:05

I had a glass jewel made with my dads ashes - to go on a charm bracelet (pandora style) - it took me a year to do it though as I ummed and ahhed over it. Im so glad I did though.

silkpyjamasallday · 30/12/2017 21:06

It's your relative, your loss, your money and your choice OP. Sod what your DH thinks. My DF had a colleague who had his fathers ashes made into a diamond and wore it in an earring. I quite like the idea of being made into a diamond personally, and I think jewellery made with ashes is a lovely way to keep someone you loved close. Mourning jewellery made with hair was very popular in the Victorian era, I think it's a shame it's fallen out of fashion to have something tangible to remember a loved one.

Tara336 · 30/12/2017 21:07

My daughter had a pendant made up of my cats ashes, she finds it comforting to have her nearby, but personally I don’t like it so I guess it’s down to you as an individual

AboutAGallonofDietCoke · 30/12/2017 21:09

Hi

There is a lot of smaller independent jewellers that do this now, from what I hear it’s cheaper.
Pm and I’ll rummage in my mummies group and find the details of the jeweller this lady was praising the other day. She’d had pendants made for her and her sisters.

From what I know (I looked into this for my DM and DF) they don take loads of ashes so there will be a load left to take o NY. don’t bother even raising it with airline or place you want to scatter in New York.

From experience if they find out ( only way they will is by you mentioning it) they will say no or it will all become a huge ball ache.

Where as you can go and discreetly (and sensibly) scatter somewhere and if it’s private no one will care at the time.

Only thing is if customs search your bag, have a story ready about how you like to take your sister away with you. It’s not illegal but an urn of ashes might get looked at,

Best wishes and sorry for your loss, it’s shit. Both my parents remain in my wardrobe as I’m still at a loss what to do with them x

ZipItZebedee · 30/12/2017 21:09

You could just use a locket?

Or you can get little glass orb pendants which you could fill with resin mixed with the ashes. It would be a lot cheaper. 🤷🏻‍♀️

AboutAGallonofDietCoke · 30/12/2017 21:10

Oh and ignore your DH. What a dick.

He can be supportive of fuck off!

AboutAGallonofDietCoke · 30/12/2017 21:10

Apologies for spelling and grammar... long day

southwest1 · 30/12/2017 21:19

I have an Ashes into Glass ring with my mum’s ashes in and it’s lovely. So many people have asked what the stone is, they don’t expect it to be ashes. They do beads for bracelets now, they didn’t when I had the ring done, and I wish I could get a bead to go on my Pandora but we scattered the rest of her ashes.

SuperStormborn · 30/12/2017 21:23

You need to grieve in your own way, and not what your DH thinks is right. I say go for it ! I think they’re lovely and I’d personally do it myself

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