Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Supposed to be getting a takeaway in rare night alone and DH not back yet

42 replies

kissmethere · 30/12/2017 19:21

Does anyone know the Micky Flanagan story about not coming home for the takeaway and bottle of wine? Well that's happening to me tonight!
Unexpectedly have the house to ourselves, kids rarely our at the same time, DH had already made plans with his mate for a couple of of drinks and we had the brainwave of grabbing some time alone before the kids come home. They're due about 10. I thought he'd be in by now but NO. I really feel like texting him with "I bet you're having a lovely time"
This is considering a couple of weeks ago he raised the issue of us not being intimate enough or getting time alone and look what he's doing? I'm actually and very childishly going to wait it out to see if he bothers coming in. He doesn't have form for this but what with the issue he raised I'm getting pissed off. And this is my stomach talking as well I'm bloody starving!
No AIBU just wanted to see what people think.

OP posts:
Graphista · 30/12/2017 20:18

Just be absolutely certain that you aren't about to send it to your MIL....

Wink well quite! Or the boss!

Peony - sorry I disagree and I've been single a LONG time but I do think if you're in a relationship that takes priority over friends especially if time and space for real intimacy is precious.

gingergenius · 30/12/2017 20:20

@PeonyBucket - what @Graphista said!

PeonyBucket · 30/12/2017 20:52

If a bloke knows that his love interest is waiting for him to come home and do the business, there would be no holding him back
It depends how important sex is, to the individual.

There are many men, and women, to whom quality of sex is not the be all and end all of life as a pointer to how they will go forward and have a successful long term partnership. This man might be totally commited to his girlfriend, yet he's currently out with his mates.To put it bluntly "come home and have sex with me" is not the message you want to convey

I'd just give him a break.

PeonyBucket · 30/12/2017 21:11

Peony - sorry I disagree and I've been single a LONG time but I do think if you're in a relationship that takes priority over friends especially if time and space for real intimacy is precious

Yes, of course. I was being facetious and silly.
We are all in different situations and spaces.I'm long time married.
35 years.. However, that does not mean that I'm happily married.
Not terribly 'unhappily' married, but it could be better, if I had a nicer husband.

Nowadays, nobody seems to be in it for the long haul.

PeonyBucket · 30/12/2017 21:20

Maybe I don't think having sex is a massive thing. I would save it until a few months into the 'relationship' I would not have sex with somebody I just met on POF, I have friends who do that..
It never works out well, so far.

Original poster
kissmethere · 30/12/2017 21:44

All'swell thanks everyone. He's home, have eaten, had a rant and now enjoying some alone time. Youngest is now having a sleepover at his cousins which is even better.
Peony, the only thing I NEED is some alone time with my husband which has been an issue for us, which he raised last couple of weeks. I also mentioned to him that I NEVER sit watching the clock when he's out just tonight is a rare opportunity. I don't see anything wrong with that.
Having a lovely evening thanks everyone.

OP posts:
Graphista · 30/12/2017 22:08

Glad alls well op.

Peony goodness knows what you'd make of me, I've been single 15 years but far from celibate. Your way works for you my way works for me (not pof the people on there far too vanilla for me Wink)

Peony had said oh had raised the issue of date night/intimacy himself so my view was its a bit rich of him complaining then when the opportunity arises not taking advantage.

Original poster
kissmethere · 30/12/2017 22:13

Graphista, exactly. Have a good evening all of you.

OP posts:
gingergenius · 30/12/2017 22:14

@PeonyBucket not sure if everything's ok with you but the op is married and is looking forward to a rate night of alone time with her husband whilst the kids are elsewhere...but a one night stand with a ransomed from POF! Not sure where that supposition came from but would suggest that maybe you might be projecting a little?

gingergenius · 30/12/2017 22:17

Rare night...

gingergenius · 30/12/2017 22:17

NOT a one night stand ... you get my drift!!!

gingergenius · 30/12/2017 22:18

Bloody autocorrect!

TrinitySquirrel · 30/12/2017 22:23

@graphista I do love a bit of fab of a weekend Grin

PeonyBucket · 31/12/2017 00:08

not sure if everything's ok with you but the op is married and is looking forward to a rate night of alone time with her husband whilst the kids are elsewhere...but a one night stand with a ransomed from POF! Not sure where that supposition came from

It came from reading too many threads all at one time.
Not sure I'd fancy a rate with a ransomed either.

It still doesn't sit easy with me though, to expect my partner to come home from having a social time with his mates just because I want him to have sex with me. It's not going to work as a long term plan.
It really will get tiresome after a while. It will get wearisome and more of a duty than fun.

Leave him be, poor chap.

Graphista · 31/12/2017 00:24

Poor chap Grin yea I'm sure he feels really put upon, why does planned sex need to feel like a chore, instead it can build anticipation and desire.

gingergenius · 31/12/2017 00:56

@PeonyBucket I'm sad you feel your oh wouldn't be excited st the idea of a night of naughtiness at your invitation.

Perhaps you need to review your situation? I'm sure you are far more alluring than you give yourself credit for.

Original poster
kissmethere · 31/12/2017 01:17

Thanks so much everyone however I think Peony you're not on the same page. Tired now, no shag (booooo) but a bit of peace and quiet in the morning will make up for that.
Eldest came home at 10:30 and had a phone call from SIL re sleepover. Have banished eldest to their bedroom to prolong some alone time.
DH sees the error he made now and has been very sweet. We'll talk about things tomorrow.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page