I have had 15 years with this man . He does not sit with me and my son but in a room on his own . He expects dinner and I have always done this . He does not kiss me or sleep with me or tell me he loves me ever . In September his father took ill . And he just left to go stay with him at night . I have felt relief since he had been gone . But he comes back after work and sits in the room for a few hours then leaves . I stopped cooking for him and decided I deserved better . My son has been very confused about it all as he doesn't understand why his dad can be so disrespectful to me as to not try and talk things through . I just got mad and gave up caring . I didn't care he was looking after his father at night but I did care that after all these years of being ignored and not treated well and be cooking and cleaning and keeping the house and doing everything for my son I'd had enough . Now if I thought he didn't love me anyone in their right mind would try and talk about things and make things better but not him . He had continued to come into the home speak to our son and take him where he needs to go as I don't drive . As I stopped speaking so did he and I think he could go on like this for the rest of our days . So dysfunctional . I didn't think I could do it on my own but I grew stronger as I knew my son needed me . I started to get my house in order . Things had become cluttered and out of hand as I was so unhappy and lost interest . I hoped he would make the move to leave but everyday he walks in and I feel the same unease I did before . I had a long period of illness . He promised to look after me but he didn't . He got his sisters to check on me as he said he didn't know how .if he had shown me love then I think I may have got better quicker . I developed anxiety and depression due in part to having no one to help me family or otherwise . I'm pretty much on my own . He made me feel worse and still expected me to cook and clean . I didn't know how things would go at Christmas . But he came on Christmas morning with presents for my son .and handed me a present without saying a word . Now I felt sorry for him being the good kind loving and open person I am . It was Christmas Day and I did not want my son upset . So I continued to make dinner . He could have had dinner with his father but no he sat there until I ended up giving him a dinner . The present is still on the table . I felt sorry for him as i told him I did not need anything from him . What he could give me I do not want anymore . I will never get the 15 years back I wasted on this man . I look at other couples and see how they support each other . Physically and emotionally . I feel I was putting up with this way of life to keep the peace and really I was pretending for my sons sake to give him the best childhood and hide my hurt . Him leaving at night time had given me time to realise the awful relationship we had . The house is in my name . He just moved in but I was never happy with this arrangement . He has contributed half of the mortgage since living here . That is all . I rarely received help with food clothing school things after school activities there were a lot ) I ran myself ragged waiting on him to offer a lift or help me out but nothing ever was forthcoming . It took my illness and the realisation that he could never look after me and I had to scrape the strength up everyday to do it myself . I fought for my Health as I got the feeling he was quite happy I was so unwell . My son has stated either we split up or we go back to normal . Am I being unfair to a man who is either totally selfish and narcissistic or try and live my own life without him in it. I cannot believe someone would cling on so long . I would never stop him seeing our son but I want to start living again and get out of this rut I am in . How could he really think an extravagant present would make up for all the hurt and pain I have been caused over the years . Maybe I am the selfish one . Is this all there is . Is this all I should expect . Please help