husband not supporting going back to work

[gg1234]

my hubby is very non supportive and it seems all he wants is a maid to do house chores and look after kids .I want to get back to work asap ,I have a 4 year old and I want to send him to nursery for half days so that i can get some space .My hubby doesnt want child to go to nursery and also he wishes to have another kid asap .Today he sat explaining me that I am just being selfish if i dont give my child sibling .I said Hello .I want another one but only after i start full time job .AIBU ?

your husband is an idiot. Go back to work, and I agree to keeping some money aside should you need it - he's showing his true colours. I'm someone who isn't a fan of small babies going to nursery but it is absolutely worthwhile sending a child over the age of 18mnths. Because after that age it isn't just childcare for you, it's excellent for the child. Making new friends, new toys, independence, sharing adults attention with other children, manners, eating habits etc etc. It's great for them! As for the only child business,im an only child and it's done me no harm whatsoever

You have to go back to work, Nursery and the benefit and negative are small fry compared to the implications of his attitude and your future. Unless he is willing to cover your pension and put money aside for your loss of future earnings you will be disadvantaged because of his wishes.

If you wanted to study at college then some do whats called a student loan, you dont have to pay it back unless you earn over a certain amount and you can apply for Care 2 Learn which covers your childcare. You can do courses that are only 2 days a week and it gives you a break and something to focus on. Some colleges even loan you a laptop to help with your coursework. Hope this helps

If you manage to het yourself a job sometimes employers will pay for training etc. I really think you need to start long term planning for a life away from this man, because frankly it is a matter of when not if.

Your DH can't make you do something he is not prepared to do himself. If he would not consider staying at home to provide full childcare, then why should you?

Gosh, tell him he's being selfish for not giving up work or cutting down hours to parent, they are both of your dc, not just yours.
What a dick.

I don't think you are at all unreasonable in wanting to go back to work, or in expecting your DH to support you in doing so. I would though think that you will probably have to cope with him refusing to, say, take time off if DS is sick, do drop offs and pick ups etc so it will all be down to you.

Go back to work, make sure you are able to financially support yourself, and DO NOT have another child with this man.

Yanbu to go back to work if it's what you want or need to do.
ElsieJane, I disagree with your statement that " nursery is essential for little ones". It isn't essential at all, neither is it essential for all young dcs to stay at home everyday with a parent. Both options can be beneficial or negative depending on circumstances.

Steakandchips3
You are right it is not essential. However with the OP's little one starting school very soon he may benefit from it. I found my son was a lot more sociable and daring once he had started nursery and i felt like a better parent as i was not clung too everyday. I think some children can get attachment issues and nursery can be a life saver with this.