Help with mother-in-law

[user1476480023]

AIBU? I want nothing to do with her, but know I don't have that liberty!! My husband and I both have children of similar ages from previous marriages, and we do our best to treat them similarly and we do a good job, but my MIL continues to drive a wedge! And I can't turn a blind eye any longer!!

We're on holiday together, this morning at a water park, and my son is in a small accident where his toenail is ripped off, he is screaming in pain, the medic rushes offer and we all doing all we can to ease the situation and SHE sits 5m away watching, sipping on her gin and tonic, she does not get up to see if he's ok, just sits and watches!! I know she would never do that if it was her own grandchild!

Am I right, boxing gloves are off?? I don't want to hate her, my husband loves his mother but I am so hurt by her nonchalance!

I knew that she never got on with his first wife either, but was told by MIL how unfairly she treated her, now I think ex-wife detached as I am about to, just feel bad as my husband adores his mother!

gingergenius

Unless there is a massive backstory here it seems like you're looking for reasons to hate her. From what you've said she doesn't seem to have done anything too heinous so I guess it's all about context

The context was in the OP.

I love my husband more than I dislike her so I will do the right thing and pretend that I do like her even if she can't do the same!

Big breath and large wine is what's called for! Family holidays are stressful when you're all in one holiday home!! 🤪

Thanks for all the comments, I appreciate all replies but especially @Bollooooooocks for understanding! 🍷 wine time!!

❤️❤️❤️

How come she's drinking gin and tonic in the morning, at a water park?

Agree with bollocks you have had strangest replies 😂. Now according to posters none of us go to any child's aid unless we are blood related charming!

She sounds cold and heartless. Any decent human with a shred of humanity would have come over to make sure they couldn't be of assistance. Then go and sit back down! Bitch.

Be extra nice to her, and kill her with kindness, it's so funny to watch her start stepping carefully as she doesn't know why or what is going on.

For every nice thing you do you get £5 to spend in Jan, just don't let on.

@NotAgainYoda I read the OP.

Unless there are other similar stories like this, I can't see that MIL's behaviour was anything more than not jumping on to the crisis bandwagon. OTOH the op DOES STATE that she wishes she didn't have to have anything to do with MIL.

My own mum wouldn't rush in if me, their dad and a medic was dealing with the problem. Doesn't mean she doesn't care.

Personally I think there's either more to this or the op is allowing her personal feelings about the MIL to colour her perception.

Without that, it appears to be a one-off unfortunate event

Does your ds have his own grandparents op? Just wondering if it's taken on greater importance to you because he doesn't have any other grandparent figures in his life.

Perhaps she's just not that attached to your child? Not everyone loves all children.

ginger
Well, when the Op says 'AIBU? I want nothing to do with her, but know I don't have that liberty!! My husband and I both have children of similar ages from previous marriages, and we do our best to treat them similarly and we do a good job, but my MIL continues to drive a wedge! And I can't turn a blind eye any longer!! "

It does point to the fact that this isn't one incident

Maybe OP should tell us a bit more to flesh it out

"How come she's drinking gin and tonic in the morning, at a water park?"

If I had to endure a waterpark that's what I'd be doing! Extra points to her for even being able to get her hands on a G&T in the morning... at a waterpark... (obviously not the point of this thread)

In that situation as a MIL and grandmother I would not add to the chaos and crowding of the child if their parents and a medic were already there. So although I worship the ground my grandson walks on (and spoil him lots) I too would stay where I was, unless there was anything specific I could do. Sorry, OP.

@NotAgainYoda understood. But she's asking advice on a particular incident. So without any additional info it could all be hyperbole. Or it could be a nightmare. I based my response on the info concerning the incident she related as to do otherwise is to simply speculate and/or invent a story to suit our own narrative.

I remember how angry I got that my MIL would practically barge me out of the way to get to my DC first in the event of a minor injury. She could have beaten usain bolt across any children's playground.
At the time I was waiting for an operation on my hip so could only hobble across slowly. I felt like she was delighted I was crippled and took full advantage. I did, and still do, hate her.
Your Sitution is a different dynamic. You noticed her apathy because your son is not her grandson. Would she have rushed over for your DSS? That is the issue.