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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

10 year old and mobile phone

6 replies

Happyhappyveggie · 30/12/2017 05:44

So, we gave DS 10 (he will be 10 next week) an old iPhone 4 for Xmas that used to be mine. It will be on a £5 a month sim only contract and there are extremely strict rules on how he can use it. All his mates had phones of varying types for Xmas and will be texting each other so we didn’t want him to feel left out but didn’t want to buy a phone yet either. At the moment he doesn’t go to the park on his own as we live in a city and aren’t as close to the park as some of his mates.

He can only use it to play music via my Spotify account, a few games like mine craft, can text his friends, will not be able to use data out of the house and really doesn’t need it because he is rarely anywhere to warrant it yet.

I feel very uncomfortable about him having a phone as I don’t think he needs one and certainly but feel that with strict boundaries and a gradual build up to secondary school, it can be managed properly. We have said no use in his bedroom aswell.

Aibu to feel uncomfortable? Am I managing it properly? Part of me feels like I have done the wrong thing and given in too easily to peer pressure.

He had lego, subbuteo, books etc also for Xmas & still plays with those a lot so am hoping to keep the balance and make it a gradual process.

I find parenting a minefield!

OP posts:
BWatchWatcher · 30/12/2017 06:06

We did the same with DS1.
It's ok, he chats with his friends (in his room) but I've told him that I can check his phone any time so not to behave in a way that would be frowned upon.
Can you give him what's app?
To be honest the novelty wore off after a while.

BWatchWatcher · 30/12/2017 06:07

Oh! And a very hardwearing case

KalaLaka · 30/12/2017 06:23

Your rules sound really good. I think it's hard not to feel uncomfortable, but you've set some solid boundaries, so try not to worry.

Happyhappyveggie · 30/12/2017 06:26

At the moment he uses whatsapp on my phone to message a ‘pen pal’ but I can monitor it and I am comfortable with that! Whatsapp feels a bit of a step too far on his phone but am I being neurotic?

OP posts:
Rowgtfc72 · 30/12/2017 07:11

Dd is ten and has had her phone six months. She listens to music and texts her friends. If she wants to make a call she asks. She uses it for silly games too. She's asked for whatsapp and I'm fine with that. She's not allowed musically.
We check it regularly and she knows it will be removed if she misuses it.
She was the last of her friends to get a phone , but like you, I needed her phone ready for secondary school.

TovaGoldCoin · 30/12/2017 07:53

You sound like you are setting sensible boundaries, and are introducing phones in a gentle way. Lots of children have phones at 10, and much younger, and they use them without supervision or boundaries. You sound like your have put lots of though into it, and if it doesn't sound too patronising, we'll done. (context... I spend a lot of time discussing and dealing with cyber bullying in a primary school Hmm)

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