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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being a "princess"?

60 replies

Mammyloveswine · 29/12/2017 20:35

So am due baby no 2 any day and have an almost 2 year old. Dh had a heavy cold all over Christmas so I took care of sorting gifts etc. We went to my parents for dinner and I helped mum with the dinner, washed up etc and sat with toddler so dh could eat in peace after he had a bit of a meltdown.
I've caught dhs cold/virus and it has floored me. Spent weds in bed but dh worked yesterday so I took toddler out for the day. Spent all last night up with back pain and woke up this morning feeling like I'd been hit by a bus! Got up but ended up coming back to bed.
Dh has been making sly digs all day about how "convenient" it is that I'm ill, that it's "just a sniffle" and I should "suck it up" and clean for new baby's arrival (house is hardly a hovel but was wanting to strip all the beds and set up moses basket and crib and put Christmas decs away). He has hovered and polished downstairs and cleaned the kitchen but I feel so ill I can barely lift my head off the pillow. His constant digs have really pissed me off as it's like he doesn't believe I feel ill and that I shouldn't be resting when I'm conscious of wanting to get well for my impending Labour.
So aibu for staying in bed? Or should I be up trying to get sorted?

OP posts:
RedForFilth · 29/12/2017 21:04

God he sounds like someone I wouldn't want a second child with!

LockedOutOfMN · 29/12/2017 21:07

Stay in bed and rest. If DH can't do the beds, kitchen, etc. tonight, maybe you'll feel a bit better in the morning (after a good rest) and you can tackle them together tomorrow. Don't worry. Rest.

welshgirlwannabe · 29/12/2017 21:08

That's really unkind Sad you're heavily pregnant with a toddler, you don't need the 'excuse' of being ill to take to bed! When I was ready to pop my OH tried to do as much as possible so I could rest. Being 9+ months pregnant is really hard. Is he really prioritising a clean house over your and the babies well being?

Of course it's no trouble for him to get you a drink, or anything else you need any you are busy at the moment growing, nourishing and preparing to birth his child!!
Tell him to man up

welshgirlwannabe · 29/12/2017 21:10

In the meantime ignore him, focus on you, rest up and feel better Flowers

haveacupofteaandamincepie · 29/12/2017 21:11

Tell him to fuck off. For all he knows the back pains could be labour starting. Maybe you could get a load of washing in and run the hoover round before the baby starts crowning.

OhBeggerItsChristmas · 29/12/2017 21:12

He needs to be told that the least he can do is treat you like you treated him in his illness. But tbh, because of your pregnancy, you need more tlc than he did.

From personal experience, I had a pretty nasty cold for the last two weeks of my second pregnancy. It hadn't gone by the time I gave birth and (possibly with the stress on my body from giving birth) it turned into a chest infection the day son was born. Nobody in the hospital noticed, they were more bothered by DS having a hot tummy after feeding, something to do with my chest infection? A few days later my MIL made my FIL come through and take me to the doctors, I could barely talk or walk by then. Had a really nasty chest infection and the doctor couldn't understand how I was even standing up, let alone made it to the surgery! Had a massive dose of antibiotics, which saved me going into hospital for iv antibiotics. Unfortunately it meant DS got thrush on his tongue from antibiotics in my milk, then I got thrush in my nipples, we kept passing it back and forwards until the tablets were finished and anti thrush medication got rid of it. I would not recommend this to anybody. (Also needed some iron tablets).

I am not saying this will happen to you, but you and your husband need to make sure you are well looked after, particularly while you are unwell. There is not just you to think about, there is your baby too. You need to stay in bed and rest as much as possible, it would be really unreasonable of you to get up and do housework etc. before you are feeling a lot better. Your DH should be able to manage to sort most things himself and he needs to let you rest as much as possible.

Sorry this is so long, a simple cold can turn into something nasty, especially after childbirth. You need to take as much time as you can get to recuperate.

FoggieFishieCarpeDiem · 29/12/2017 21:13

Oh gosh, not a princess at all.

You’re ill and pregnant. How is cleaning for the baby more important than your health?

Seeing as he isn’t sick and apparently at home... he’s obviously the one that should clean (if it’s necessary) and stop making sly digs etc. .

MammaTJ · 29/12/2017 21:14

God he sounds like someone I wouldn't want a second child with!

Well, it seems a little late for that comment to actually be helpful!

It sounds like your justified upset has done the trick, without drama and having to LTB! Well done OP!

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 29/12/2017 21:18

OMG he's being so horrible. I had a heavy cold 4 weeks before Ds 2 was born, I was useless. It was Christmas too, I didn't even cook Christmas dinner for the three of us, we ate crackers and sandwiches and I went to bed by 8 each night. It's rotten not being able to take any congestion relief. I rubbed vicks all over and snored for England apparently.
Do what I did, Sleep and lie on the couch.

agentdaisy · 29/12/2017 21:21

Tell him to piss off. When he was ill you did all the Christmas stuff and toom the toddler out to let him rest and he could take painkillers / cold medicine. Now you have the same thing but are heavily pregnant and can't take anything other than paracetamol and rest. He should be running round doing everything while you rest and sleep.

It's difficult being heavily pregnant when you're fit and well. It's horrible having a heavy cold when you can dose up on medication to get you through it. Being heavily pregnant with a heavy cold is god awful.

Stay in bed and let him whine like a spoilt child.

DarkDarkNight · 29/12/2017 21:25

Is he on glue?

You are ill and heavily pregnant. Stay in bed. He should be waiting hand and foot on you.

He has a short memory, remind him how 'convenient' it was that he was ill in the run up to Christmas. What a dick. Fuming for you.

Weebo · 29/12/2017 21:26

Tell him he's lucky to be alive.

The majority of heavily pregnant women would have unhinged their jaws and ate him for supper.

I hope he somehow feels all the steely glares coming from this thread.

Saffronwblue · 29/12/2017 21:28

Will he help you get any rest when you have given birth?

hidengosqueak · 29/12/2017 21:31

Ah bless you, no he's being a dick but so was mine with number 2 dc I think it's the realisation finally hits them that shortly they will have 2 children and a wife who needs their help ! Poor things are a little slow on the up take and then overwhelmed. Stay where you are he'll work it out and come to say sorry/ bring you a drink.

Weezol · 29/12/2017 21:31

You are not being a princess. He is being a frog.

SecretLimonadeDrinker · 29/12/2017 21:32

^'Tell him he's lucky to be alive.'
^
I'm with weebo!

Mammyloveswine · 29/12/2017 21:33

Ohbegger god that sounds awful bless you!

Hoping I can shift this before the birth!

Ah thanks everyone... I'm usually one to just "get on with it" so I can't help feeling guilty. But I know I need to rest up and that hubs needs to step it up!

OP posts:
Sweetpea55 · 29/12/2017 21:36

My god. What a tosser.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 29/12/2017 21:37

Jesus fuck!

I am 27+6 with twins. DH went round on Xmas to my mum's and cooked dinner for her, us, and his parents. I slept in a chair. Then today he took toddler DD to softplay on his own so I could rest and then after we went for a walk and I got some nasty cramps, he did DD dinner and bedtime and cooked his own dinner so I could lie down.

And I am not even ill!

That is the way you treat your heavily pg wife.....

hollowtree · 29/12/2017 21:39

What a knob! I fell over really close to my due date (because I was so bloody heavy and clumsy) and my DH laughed at me "for being so hopeless". He was literally stood there laughing at me on the floor covered in mud.

I got so unbelievably, irrationally furious I burst into tears, shouted at him and my waters broke so I went into labour.

Rest! And tell his not to be such a twat.

TheDuchessofDukeStreet · 29/12/2017 21:39

Op, show him this thread. Look after yourself. 💐

ALunerExplorer · 29/12/2017 21:41

Your DH is unreasonable. You can stay in bed.

No if's, and's, but's or maybe's (as my nan would have said).

And feel better soon.

Mix56 · 29/12/2017 21:43

what about "okey doke I'll just triple the night nurse & get on with it... oh no wait, it might injure the baby, oh but never mind,
you want me up, so lets get to it" Arsehole

KarmaStar · 29/12/2017 21:43

Stay in bed and put some ear plugs in

Laine21 · 29/12/2017 21:43

Stay in bed! And for as long as you need or want to.