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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find having family staying completely overwhelming

5 replies

Farawayfromhere · 29/12/2017 17:45

I know I am a bit! I find having family, mostly my DH's family, a huge strain. They're really nice, but we have 3 small children and I feel at the end of my tether most of the time already.
Their granny winds them up so much, so it's constant screeching and mess and their grandad just sits there and expects cups of tea to be brought through. My MIL is a really nice person but I find her SO annoying, she is continually asking if she can help, every 5 minutes, but doesn't really actually help at all. It's sort of pointless giving her a task because she does half of it and then wanders off to do something else. She's a massive drama queen as well and very extroverted, whereas I am quiet and like my own space. It's not really her, just being cooped up together that is hard.
How do you manage family? My DH's family are the kid that are happy just to spend all day making noise and being together, no plans and no break.
I sound like such a miserable person!! I probably am. But I really can't wait for them to go...

OP posts:
RefuseTheLies · 29/12/2017 17:48

I said very loudly ‘seeing as we have a room full of responsible adults to watch my DD, I’m off for a nap’ and left them all to it for a few hours while I escaped to my bed and caught up on some lovely, lovely sleep Grin

dlnex · 29/12/2017 17:51

You are doing well. This is what families are like for many people. It will be great to have them out of your house and be back to your normal routine, but it will have been a meaningful visit for your MIL. All you can hope for is being better prepared next time. Could the DCs keep MIL occupied? Can you go out to eat to make it easier for you? Break it up with a trip to cinema, out for a walk?

buttfacedmiscreant · 29/12/2017 17:55

Sorry it is so stressful. Sounds like DH needs to step up... take them out, make them tea etc. Or maybe you need to go out and run errands during the day or go watch a movie... or several... or visit a friend. Yes there will a holy mess when you come home but perhaps DH could clean up while you make dinner or something (come home with food to cook)

Maybe MIL can be in charge of tea making. When FIL asks for a cuppa point him towards MIL.

Any chance of them coming for less time next time?

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 29/12/2017 17:56

I tend to plan strategic essential trips to a peaceful branch of Waitrose which has a nice cafe...

Farawayfromhere · 29/12/2017 18:06

Oh thanks, that's all so nice! Yes buttfaced, DH is great generally but terrible at making plans. He is like them! So unless I make plans and force them into doing stuff it's just one big freestyle. Which I find so stressful because the kids meals etc get all out of synch and MIL thinks I'm being annoyingly 'strict'. She didn't really have much routine with her children, she seems to like the chaos.
We are just different I think!

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