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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect a note or something

21 replies

Flippetydip · 29/12/2017 17:15

We were away over Christmas and friends (not close friends if that has any relevance) asked if her parents and her brother could stay in our house as they were coming to stay but our friends have 5 kids so couldn't house them.

I've never met parents or brother but really didn't mind so said yes but was slightly ungenerous in that I asked if they could bring own bedding and towels as I didn't want to get home to having to strip and wash beds.

I have to confess, I was kind of expecting a bottle of wine or something but at the very least a note to say "thanks for letting us use your house". There was nothing, not even a note, just the key left through the door. Is that normal? Maybe I have an over-heightened expectation of manners, but that just seems rude to me.

OP posts:
Fekko · 29/12/2017 17:17

Very rude! Maybe there will be something on the post.

barofsoap · 29/12/2017 17:21

hmm just wondering if the "house guests" assumed (inappropriately) that your friends would be thanking you somehow. Not great really

maras2 · 29/12/2017 17:21

Yes it's very rude but how bonkers is it to let total strangers stay in your house? Shock
No gift or any acknowledgement could have been the least of your problems.

Original poster
Flippetydip · 29/12/2017 17:24

I'm not sure it's bonkers to let complete strangers in if they are they family of people we know. I wouldn't advertise on FB that we were away and did any random want to stay. Each to their own I suppose but it never occurred to me that there would be any nonsense on that scale.

OP posts:
EssentialHummus · 29/12/2017 17:27

That's incredibly rude!

stickytoffeevodka · 29/12/2017 17:27

Personally I wouldn't let people I'd never met stay in my house while I was away! They might be family of your friends but they're complete strangers to you.

Anyway, maybe they assumed your friends would leave a thank you gift? If someone else had arranged my accommodation, I'd be thanking them, not the owners of the house, whom I'd never met.

SeaCabbage · 29/12/2017 17:28

Good idea of yours to say they had to bring bedding and towels. I hope they left the place clean and tidy.

I agree it seems rude and ungrateful not to at least leave a note. At least!

Maelstrop · 29/12/2017 17:34

Very rude. I would’ve left a huge box of chocolates and probably champagne as a thank you.

violetbluesky · 29/12/2017 17:37

YANBU

Presumable you saved them money on hotel bills.

Very cheeky

Abra1d · 29/12/2017 17:38

Very rude.

Idontevencareanymore · 29/12/2017 17:40

Yup rude.
A little token of gratitude, either a note or a small gift would have been the way to go. Maybe they'll text.....

IggyAce · 29/12/2017 17:40

Very rude. We rented a cottage for Christmas and left the owners a box of chocolates and bottle of fizz as a thank you, because the place was amazing and they let us arrive a day early and we had an amazing welcome pack. Couldn't fault the place I'm sure the owners have read mumsnet posts about what you expect from a holiday let.

Original poster
Flippetydip · 29/12/2017 19:37

Ah well, not a lot I can do about it but thanks for confirming my thoughts.

OP posts:
Evelynismyformerspyname · 29/12/2017 19:43

I wonder if the parents and brother were misinformed in some way about the arrangement and told by their relatives that the favour was going both ways because they were "house sitting" or something.

If no wires were crossed it is indeed rude - though maybe the friends will be round with chocolate/ wine to say thanks tomorrow?

ferntwist · 29/12/2017 19:45

YANBU. Even when we do House swaps we leave a present and a card.

ButchyRestingFace · 29/12/2017 19:46

I asked if they could bring own bedding and towels

It would never have occurred to me to ask this. Mind you, I don’t think I’d be letting strangers stay in my house.

They’re rude and ungracious not to have thanked you and left a token of thanks.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 29/12/2017 19:46

Incredibly rude.

Did they definitely come?

Rude of your friends too.

Original poster
Flippetydip · 29/12/2017 19:48

They definitely came - coffee cups used (and washed up) key posted through the letter box.

I'm sure it's a communication issue between our friends and the people who stayed but I still think common courtesy would dictate that you leave at least a note to say thank you but hey ho - nowt so queer as folk as they say.

OP posts:
Brighteyes27 · 29/12/2017 19:53

A nice note and bottle of champers and chocolates from visitors and a bottle of wine or restaurant voucher from your friends seems reasonable especially when you consider how impossibly cramped they would have all been at your friends house and how expensive a hotel stay would have been for them over that period.
We live and learn don’t offer again some people with happily take advantage.

RebootYourEngine · 29/12/2017 19:53

I hope they left the place as they found it.

KarmaStar · 29/12/2017 19:53

I'd definitely expect a thank you,it's unbelievable that they have done nothing!
Wow.the height of ignorance.

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