I think someone else posted something along these lines recently, but I'm not sure there was a clear conclusion. FWIW...
I consider myself a fairly nice and decent person - I've been in the same job for YONKS, never had any real disagreements with anyone. I make a big effort to be kind and respectful to everyone offering me a service, in shops, doctors etc. (Although I can be shirty if they don't return the favour, I suppose.)
But I am so crap and critical of my DH. I love him very much, and am very kind and loving to him 80% of the time.) But when he annoys me, I just snap. I regret it a second or two later, and usually apologise, but then it's too late. I have yelled at him, thrown things at him in the past, and I am so ashamed. (But it's been a long time since I threw anything.)
I think it's probably because I suffer from anxiety, and there's just this rage very close to the surface, ever since I became a Mum. So if I hurt myself accidentally, I yell ridiculously loudly as well. I'm mostly fairly patient with DS, and very very tolerant and kind with him, but I've seen him cringing when he drops something, as if he's expecting me to shout at him. Which devastates me.
Has anyone else been like this and changed? Other than working on my anxiety, what can I do to be better?
Please be gentle with me.