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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sleeping most of the day, out most of the night ...

23 replies

BigSandyBalls2015 · 29/12/2017 13:09

....... 17 year old DD (very nearly 17). I'm usually pretty laid back, she's on hols, she's young and enjoying herself, she's no trouble really, only the odd thing here and there. But I'm feeling ragey today, I want her to be up and doing something useful, either studying or helping me out with getting the house shipshape for NY.

I picked her up last night from a party at 2am, she'll now spend most of today in bed and she's out tonight. I've told her I'm not picking her up tonight as I'm shattered from last night, someone else's parents will have to do it or get a cab.

How do others get through this phase?

OP posts:
Insomnibrat · 29/12/2017 13:11

Let it go!

She's young and having fun. There'll be years and years of rat race induced 'keeping to a schedule' for her to have to endure.

hidinginthenightgarden · 29/12/2017 13:13

Surely she doesn't need more than 8-9 hours sleep? She should be up by now which gives her plenty of time to help you this afternoon before she goes out again.

Namechangetempissue · 29/12/2017 13:14

Ah, I remember those days!! Great times. Leave her be. Its the holidays, she wants to have a good time. You don't have to be the picker upper!

Nanny0gg · 29/12/2017 13:18

Are you having a party?

What needs to be done?

AlpacaPicnic · 29/12/2017 13:21

Is she part cat?!
Go into her room and start hoovering...

stickytoffeevodka · 29/12/2017 13:22

Let her sleep! She's not doing any harm - just refuse to pick her up at 2am in the future. She's old enough to make her own way home.

Notso · 29/12/2017 13:24

I have a 17 year old. We trade late night pick ups for babysitting her brothers usually. Would something like that work? Other than that just ask her to do XYZ before she goes out tonight.

FrancisCrawford · 29/12/2017 13:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notso · 29/12/2017 13:28

Posted too soon. Remembering my own teenage years I was often baffled as to why my Dad was angry with me for not helping out when he had just sat around huffily waiting for me to come down and help rather than just asking me to do a particular task.

halcyondays · 29/12/2017 13:34

Let her sleep, but she can get a cab when she goes out.

Original poster
BigSandyBalls2015 · 29/12/2017 18:57

Not doing a NY party but hosting NY day lunch.

She's now in the shower getting ready to go out again having done nothing all day.

Maybe you're right about giving her specific tasks rather than just asking for help vaguely.

OP posts:
Namechanger5555 · 29/12/2017 19:01

Let her sleep. I still need 12 hours sleep especially in winter and she's still young. Be specific in your requests, you need to have done x,y, and z by this time and join us for dinner at this time.

VioletCharlotte · 29/12/2017 19:22

My 18year old DS has done exactly the same today OP. It's pretty normal at this age. I just crack in with my day and leave him to it. It is the holidays after all. As long as he's in bed at a reasonable hour on a college night and gets up in time, and goes to work when he's meant to, I pretty much leave him to it.

VioletCharlotte · 29/12/2017 19:23

Oh, and I don't do 2am pick ups! If he's not staying over it's up to him to book a taxi in advance so he can get home.

Original poster
BigSandyBalls2015 · 29/12/2017 19:58

I hate her getting cabs on her own though. Does all this get easier when they can drive?

Doubt she would drive at night though even if she could as she likes a drink.

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 29/12/2017 20:00

Your 16 year old dd is staying out til 2am drinking?

VioletCharlotte · 29/12/2017 20:02

Maybe book the cab for her before she goes out so you have the peace of mind she's in a licensed taxi? How are her friends getting home? Could you suggest one sleeps at yours so they get a taxi together?

Sparrowlegs248 · 29/12/2017 20:03

Pretty normal I think. My friends all used to stay over after, we had a big teen crash pad room. It had speakers in the ceiling linked to the main stereo. Mum would put some Pavarotti on when she though we should get up.......

Original poster
BigSandyBalls2015 · 29/12/2017 20:05

Maelstrop - she's not out getting pissed, it's a few drinks at a party. She was fine when I picked her up.

Good idea about pre booking cab.

OP posts:
TenancyTroublesAgain · 29/12/2017 20:06

It's the holidays.... YABU.

AnnabelleLecter · 29/12/2017 20:13

Normal. DD17 has had one night apart from Christmas day night that she's stayed in. She usually gets up at 4pm gets ready and let's us know where she's going/with whom/if it's a party/she's staying out or not. No pick ups after 11pm here unless an emergency.
She is learning how to be sociable, cope in situations away from home etc.

Stickystickstick · 29/12/2017 20:14

You’re only young once. Hoovering & dusting can wait. YABU

NapQueen · 29/12/2017 20:17

Yabu to expect her up and about in the day if thats not what she wants.

However yabu to be running around after her. Hope you arent doing her laundry or making her meals (aside from communal ones I mean).

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