To find my friend's guilt irritating

[Sparebutton]

I am recovering from a serious illness. Following my diagnosis, I had a lot of support from close friends and family. One friend, 'Jenny' texted me a couple of times to ask if she could come over and see me when I was ill. She isn't a close friend. Both times she suggested a very specific time and day for a visit, along the lines of 'Hi Spare. I'm in the area at 2pm on Tuesday. Can I come and see you?' I replied 'I'm afraid I've got a hospital appointment then, but any other time this week is fine'. She never did manage to come and see me, but I didn't mind because we are not close and I was feeling ill.

Now I'm feeling better, I bumped into Jenny In town. She didn't ask me how I was. All she could talk about was 'Oh, I'm such a bad friend. I feel so bad that I didn't come and see you when you were ill' She went on and on. I didn't know what to say.

I'm truly not bothered about the fact she didn't come and see me, but AIBU to feel irritated by her effusive and excessive outpouring of guilt?

Ah I wouldn’t worry. She went on about it when she saw you but u doubt it’s really been making her feel that bad. Maybe she’s the kind of person that doesn’t like bumping into people unexpectedly?

*I not u

YANBU. She sounds like someone who has to make everything all about herself. If genuinely concerned, she'd have been asking you about your health when you bumped into her. A brief, sincere apology was all that was needed - not 'The Jenny Guilt Show'.

How about 'honestly don't worry about it! I had loads of support and appreciated the offer to visit. How have you been?' If you didn't know what to say I'm guessing you mean you just kept quiet while she said all if that?

I think YABU tbh, she's not a close friend and she did offer to visit. And she's acknowledged she's sorry she couldn't see you. Seems she's done fine, considering so many people wouldn't have bothered to even get in touch or try visit or acknowledge it! Maybe you're being a bit sensitive?

Just ignore her, she sounds very self centred.

She tried to call & it wasn’t a good tint for you. Then she apologized when she saw you.

Also what do you mean by 'on and on', did she really keep repeating that sentence? Was it seconds or minutes? Sometimes it feels like it's someone going on even if they've just laboured the point a tiny bit?

Just sing "Its all about you, its all about you baby" and walk off

YANBU

Silly woman - let her crack on

Yes you are being unreasonable. She was trying to reach out and be supportive. Don't throw it back in her face by acting like she's done something wrong.