Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to ask how to do it?

4 replies

hedidittttt · 28/12/2017 22:48

It's a boring one sorry, but aibu to ask how to stop all the things I do and make it clear that it's over, we not family anymore.

My partner of 10 years decided/realised he doesn't see us going any further.

Relationship wasn't great for some time, but he would not communicate, would do everything to avoid confrontation etc.

On Boxing Day he finally admitted he doesn't love me, doesn't have this kind of feelings for me anymore, which is fair enough but I feel bit angry that he didn't say this at the very beginning, two months ago.

I feel angry because at that time he was very depressed-he's diagnosed with depression, and stopped taking his meds. I thought that his mood, and general outlook and feelings are clouded by it. Now it's clear that he realised his feelings long time ago and reason why he hit breakdown point and was feeling so low was because he didn't want to face me! (According to him he didn't want to upset me and our dc)

So now: he doesn't love me, doesn't want to have any relationship with me, but really still doesn't know what to do, and so we living in the same routine like nothing would ever happened... he goes to work and pays the bills, I cook and clean and do all the childcare (and I work from home)

I asked him to move out after xmass which he agreed, but now after advice from his family, he says he doesn't want to go, because he wants to be in dc live and that's all he's got and he doesn't know what he want or what he wants to happen...

Aibu to how do deal with this? Of course there is lots of financial ties, but I want to draw the line and stop playing family if that's what makes him unhappy I don't want to cook clean for him anymore, and do anything I do at the moment
The thing is I don't think he would say anything or noticed, if I stop, he might be even pleased as that will be another little decision he would not have to make, but what else I can do?
I don't want to play family with someone who doesn't want me, but it's too comfortable/doesn't have guts to end things properly.

OP posts:
blue2014 · 28/12/2017 22:51

I'm sorry I don't understand- you want to stop cooking and cleaning, you don't think he would mind. So just stop doing it?

MyBrilliantDisguise · 28/12/2017 22:51

Can you manage financially without him?

Are you renting or do you have a mortgage?

ParadiseCity · 28/12/2017 22:55

My friend was in this situation for best part of a year and it nearly broke her. You can't separate and live together. That's not separating and it will slowly kill you all. Don't do it! You need a home each now.

hedidittttt · 28/12/2017 23:10

Thanks for you replies, unfortunately I'm not in the financial position to move out (because my career took the hit after Dc), he could do this, but he would be worst off than he is now...

Unfortunately I don't have any family or friends I can stay with, otherwise I would be long gone.

The whole situation is incredible difficult for me and mess with my head. He knows this but refuse to remove himself.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread