Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thinking it isn't fair on DD?

15 replies

ToHereWithIt · 28/12/2017 21:36

Visiting family at the moment, we've travelled far and wide for this trip and family are saying we should pack in full days of seeing everyone and fitting in social stuff because people have waited so long to see 5 month old DD not that they all know where we live and could have visited or that I reminded them of this several times.

DD has had 2 weeks of interrupted routine in the lead up to Christmas seeing both families and friends. Today there was a comment about how DD wasn't awake when I had previously said she usually was- DD only had 7 hours sleep, was then so crappy she needed a long nap within half an hour of waking. We managed a few visits and DD was hysterical at the end.

There are other young children in the family and they always end up a screaming ball of hysteria, bedtime is forgone for people to see them but with all the screaming, I always feel like they should be allowed to sleep and then it'll be more enjoyable for all when they're not so tired.

Anyway, awbu to say DD needs her naps and sleep, that comes first and we're not going to add a 3rd week of being overloaded every single day? It's our DD, I know, but is it right to expect we play pass the baby at the expense of DD's sleep and happiness? Would you do it?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 28/12/2017 21:38

Stick to your routine, she needs regular sleep

yorkshireyummymummy · 28/12/2017 21:39

No I bloody wouldn’t do it. Family should be willing to accept that a new baby’s need for sleep comes way above their need to have a hold.
Get yourself home and back into your routine is my advice!!!

Goodgirl7 · 28/12/2017 21:40

Keep to your routine, I think you’ve done enough already to be accommodating - tbh if I want to see my nieces I go to my sisters place and fit in with their routine.

MycatsaPirate · 28/12/2017 21:40

She's a baby with needs and wants, not a fucking toy to be passed around.

YANBU.

Super123 · 28/12/2017 21:41

Sounds awful for you and dd. Any chance of going home early?

HerrenaHarridan · 28/12/2017 21:41

I think it’s important to vary routine sometimes so it doesn’t become too fixed.

However let sleepy babies sleep. Respond to the baby’s needs first before the wants of others

CorbynsBumFlannel · 28/12/2017 21:43

If a 5 month old is crying and tired I can't see what choice you'd have but to let them nap?
I sympathise with you though. My inlaws used to 'accidentally' wake mine then go on about how cranky they were.

BroccoliOnTheFloor · 28/12/2017 21:44

I think we have all been socialised into being polite and never saying "no". Fuck that. If someone is impolite enough to ask you to put their whims ahead of your daughter's needs, they deserve you to be impolite back and say no.

I deeply regret not being more firm with relatives in the early months.

Glumglowworm · 28/12/2017 22:02

Your tiny baby needs sleep more than you need to appease adult relatives (especially ones who couldn’t be bothered to visit you).

Stop letting them treat her like a bloody doll!

SilverySurfer · 28/12/2017 22:07

They are ridiculous, your baby is not a performing seal. Hope you will be home soon and back into your own routine.

Bambamber · 28/12/2017 22:09

YANBU

People seem to forget that babies have needs and aren't there just for their entertainmemt

PumpkinPie2016 · 28/12/2017 22:20

YANBU - my son is 4 now and still needs to go to bed at a reasonable hour! He no longer maps in the day but his bedtime is important otherwise he just becomes over tired and grumpy!

Some family friends are up visiting at the moment staying in a hotel. Their toddler has been up til almost midnight the last few nights and then they are wondering why the poor child is grumpyConfused

I would always put child's needs first!

Thingywhatsit · 28/12/2017 22:23

Tell them your dd is not a pass the parcel!

Maelstrop · 28/12/2017 22:25

Baby comes first and you’re making a rod for your own back if you continue to allow her routine to be disrupted. It could take her ages to get back into her routine, pretty hellish for you when you get home.

As you say, people could have come to see you, they have your address!

Pumpkinpie657 · 28/12/2017 22:27

Thank you for this OP; I am about to encounter an almost identical situation with my 5-month old DD and was debating what I should do. Decision made - we will stick to her routine and fit people in around it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread